PDA

View Full Version : Accidentally In Love (AshXMay) (fanfiction) Pg-12


SgtWaffle
July 12th, 2007, 10:18 AM
Just a quick note before I start the story:
I haven't watched mutch of the series so excuse me if i'm inacurate, the seiries will take consist of four books, book 1 is called Heartbreak. The series has nothing to do with the song "Accidentall In Love" i just thaught it would make a good title, in the story if I say the radio started playing a song that means you should start playing said song. No more than 3 comments in between chapters, any other comments our plot-line ideas send to me via PM. As soon as we get the Xbox 360 out of the computeer room, I should be able to get writing (If my brother found out he'd annoy me more than Brock annoys Nurse Joy).:cheeky:

diamondpearl876
July 12th, 2007, 10:32 AM
Just a quick note before I start the story:
I haven't watched mutch of the series so excuse me if i'm inacurate, the seiries will take consist of four books, book 1 is called Heartbreak. The series has nothing to do with the song "Accidentall In Love" i just thaught it would make a good title, in the story if I say the radio started playing a song that means you should start playing said song. No more than 3 comments in between chapters, any other comments our plot-line ideas send to me via PM. As soon as we get the Xbox 360 out of the computeer room, I should be able to get writing (If my brother found out he'd annoy me more than Brock annoys Nurse Joy).:cheeky:

If it's called Accidently In Love, then how is it called Heartbreak, too? The thread title should be the title of your fic otherwise readers will be confused.

Also, don't write *play song* in the middle of a chapter, it'll also throw readers off. =P

Good luck, though.

Orange_Flaaffy
July 12th, 2007, 10:46 AM
It's not a good idea to write about the anime characters if you have hardly watched any of the anime, since you are more likely to make the characters OOC and they might as well just be some charcters you made up :\
A song fic is often better suited to a short story than a long epic made up of books IMHO :)

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
July 12th, 2007, 10:51 AM
Seeing as this isn't a fic, it'd be better off on the Writer's Lounge. Make another thread in the main section when you're ready to post the story.

moved

Michela92
July 12th, 2007, 11:01 AM
Seeing that you have not seen much of the series you might make the characters ooc as Orange_Flaaffy said. So I think its best (so that your fanfic will be better) that you go to youtube or another website, and watch a few episodes just so you can learn a little more about the characters.

Hope my advice helps I'm sure if you do that you fanfic will be great.

Craig²
July 12th, 2007, 12:25 PM
Don't use the Anime characters if you hardly know anything about them. OOC's make it more enjoyable to the reader rather than Anime Characters the writer knows nothing about. Because, if you make the anime character do something the 'real one' wouldn't do, the reader dislikes it. However, using occ's, YOU control the character.

And, Accidently in Love and Heartbreak? Aren't you kinda contridicting the story there?

Astinus
July 12th, 2007, 06:13 PM
I think what the OP means is that the entire series of four books falls under the collective title of "Accidentally In Love". Each individual "book" is going to have its own title, and the first book is titled "Heartbreak". It's like what I'm doing with my own book series. :/

Ah, let's take this slow.

First of all, you are not making a good impression on future readers if your grammar and spelling are bad in your first post. I had to read through your post a few times to understand what you mean. You should work on making your story a bit more readable.

So you haven't watched most of the anime series. How can you write a believable fic using anime characters without making them seem...wrong. If you have Ash acting in a way that he normally doesn't in the show, then the readers will notice. Of course, with three ( :o ) people telling you the exact same thing, you don't need a fourth telling you.

Don't write in your story that the reader has to play the song when they are reading the chapter. People don't have the same taste in music, so they might not have the songs you mention. They also probably don't have the resources to get the songs to listen to them. So that's a bad idea. If you have to use the song in your story for some reason, then just mention that. And if the lyrics fit into the story, then post them. But don't just post the lyrics in the middle of the story. It throws readers out of your story.

No more than 3 comments in between chapters, any other comments our plot-line ideas send to me via PM.
I'm sorry, but no. You can't limit the amount of comments between chapters posted in your thread. Any amount of people can post in between chapters. And forcing people to PM you a comment about your story when it's easier to just post in the thread drives people away.

If you really want to write this fic, work through these problems that I and others mentioned. Especially the first two I said. Those are the important ones.

SgtWaffle
July 14th, 2007, 07:18 AM
:)Thanks for all the tips guys. I guess I still have a lot to learn. I watched some of the show and read a few fanfics that others wrote. I should have chapter 1 up by Monday.

Orange_Flaaffy
July 14th, 2007, 08:03 AM
:)Thanks for all the tips guys. I guess I still have a lot to learn. I watched some of the show and read a few fanfics that others wrote. I should have chapter 1 up by Monday.

Fanfic is actually one of the last places you want to learn Ash and May's characters from, most readers write them very OOC ;)

SgtWaffle
July 15th, 2007, 09:45 AM
I reliazed that I made a mistake earlier, what I meant to say in the first post was that I've seen some episodes and all the movies except movie 9, my bad! I'm also dropping the song idea. I might have a prolouge up by today!:D

SgtWaffle
July 17th, 2007, 06:58 AM
Well here's Chapter 1 it's kind of short though. Here's a proverb I made up that I would like to start off with. "When a heart splits in two, one can't mend it themselves, they must find the other half which is sent to somone who doensn't know they have it

Book 1: Heartbreak and Repair

Chapter 1: Misty's Good-Bye

It was a rainy-day in the Johtoh region. Ash had just finished at the Johtoh Silver confrence.

"Ash," a girl with orange hair in a pony-tail to one side said to the trainer.

"Ya, Misty" Ash replied.

"My sisters just called," she sighed, "Looks like have to go back to Kanto for a while to watch the gym while they're on vacation."

"Well then I'll catch up with you when you get back!" Ash said with a hopeful tone of voice.

Misty didn't know what to do, she knew Ash liked her, but she doesn't like him. She used to like him but that was before she met Tracey.


The Next Day at the Pier

Ash and company headed toward the boats, Ash was as happy as ever! He was glad to start a knew journey, but he didn't know what Misty was going to tell him. As they arived at the docks they were greeted by Tracey Sketchem.

"Hey guys!" Tracey called out.

"What's he doing here?" Ash said quietly, and with a hint of jealosy in his voice.

"He's coming to Kanto with me." Misty said very quietly.

"Why him?" Ash said louder then he intended to. "Anyone but him" Ash thought to himself.

"C'mon Misty lets get going!" Tracey yelled across the pier.

"Be there in a second!" Misty called out. "Brock, I need to talk to Ash." she said so Tracey couldn't hear. Brock nodded, and walked toward the boat.

"What do you need Misty." Ash said with a smile.

"Ash, theres some thing I need to tell you." Misty said in a whisper.

"Yes?" Ash replied as his smile widened

"I" Ash's hopes were getting high "love" higher "Tracey"

"C'mon Misty! The boats gonna leave with out us!" Tracey yelled now slightly annoyed.

"Gotta go Ash" Misty said, Ash just stared at Tracey "here take this to remember me by." she handed Ash a handkercief, and he just kept on staring.

"What does she see in him?" Ash just kept wondering to himself, when Misty walked over to Tracey and grabbed his hand Ash's heart split in two.


~~~~~

C'mon guys, please post comments so i know that someon's reading this!

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
July 17th, 2007, 07:35 AM
SgtWaffle, I moved your topic to this section because it fitted better as a thread where you would post the ideas and previous concepts of the story to know what people tought of them. That means that here you are not to post the actual story, so please kindly do that on the main Fan Fiction section or I'll have to close this.

SgtWaffle
July 17th, 2007, 09:32 AM
sorry, I'm kinda new at this.