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Sumomo & Kotoko
July 21st, 2007, 02:46 AM
Freedom

I'm still haunted by the past,
the memory of us isn't fading fast.
It keeps me up, for hours on end.
Sleepless, restless, thinking
of everything we could have been.
You're like a diamond in the ruff.
You talked big, but I called your bluff.
It ends up you were hollow.
Fake, heartless, and shallow.
Walking away from you is
the best thing I've ever done.
My reward? My freedom,
and all your lies that come undone.
Now I stand, on my own and alive.
And this is my anthem,
to my soul I have arrived.

melod.ii ous demyx~♪
July 23rd, 2007, 08:59 AM
I found that really sweet, actually~

... I couldn't figure out how to make 'Hollow' and 'Shallow' rhyme.. even though they should! right? ._.

Anyways! I liked it alot. Great piece of work! :2:

Soulofinfamy
July 30th, 2007, 01:43 PM
Great peice of work u got there dude. I really like your writing style.. good rhyming too. like shallow & hollow. You are a very creative thinker. Can u teach me how to write such amazing poetry?

Sumomo & Kotoko
August 2nd, 2007, 10:42 PM
Thanx guys, I'm glad y'all liked it.

Soulofinfamy, I don't know if I can teach you how to write poetry.
I think its something self taught, no one taught me how to write.


If you want some pointers I'd be willing to do that.
Send me a PM if you want. =)

Lokhlan
August 5th, 2007, 11:40 PM
Wow, my recent poem is very similar to this one. Though, I believe yours was realized much better. Very good job. I can related well to this poem.

moody_cow_
August 6th, 2007, 07:57 PM
Ooh great poem! Definitely one that alot of people can relate to! You can really feel the emotion behind it. =) I really like the ending! =D Sorry I'm not elaborating too much, I'm a bit tired and my brain isn't functioning too well but I really did like the poem! =D