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moody_cow_
August 7th, 2007, 07:29 PM
I was very angry and hurt when I wrote this one. It's another one that came straight from the heart. I had a very upsetting conversation with a friend right before I wrote this... I was really depressed and in pain and he just didn't care... He called me a drama queen... I wrote this poem and posted it on my deviantART account and wrote for my author's comment, "NOW I'm being a drama queen." I feel that it's really harsh now but still, it's what I felt at the time!

* * * * *

My scarred form was too terrible to look upon;
The pain was etched deeply in my skin,
My torment was reflected in my eyes,
While my despair sailed down my cheek
As an unobtrusive tear.
But the sight of me offended your delicate eyes.

I came to you in need of a friend,
Someone who would listen and understand.
But you refused to regard me
With anything but disdain.

"Go away. Your presence fouls the air."

You left me there bleeding,
Wailing my agony,
While you turned an apathetic eye.
And as I nurtured my wounded heart,
I could see what kind of person you truly were.
Soon my misery crumbled into anger,
The memories of your scornful face
Planting deep seeds of resentment.

But I continued to be your friend.
I talked to you with a bright smile
And a cheery shining attitude.
My acting was so perfect
That you ate up the deception without question
And our previous encounter drifted out of your memory.

But I didn't forget that day.
I didn't forget how you treated me
When I bared my soul to you.
I didn't forget what kind of friend you were.

Instead, I wove myself a mask of happiness,
So that I could hide all the feelings inside,
So you wouldn't have to confront my problems.
I will wear this mask for you always,
For you will never again know the true me,
All you get is lies.

Manaphy1128
August 7th, 2007, 07:41 PM
( It neede more blood *shot*)

Ha ha. Anyway, I feel this is actually very good. But I have to take in account that you were angry and hurt at the time of writing. Do you beleive you could write this at the end of a great day?

Good job. Fits my standards.

Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses
August 7th, 2007, 07:41 PM
It looks very good, Well Reads better then it looks but... well. Anyway, I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors, but the poem itself was touching on an emotional level, depressing. I hope you make new poems.

moody_cow_
August 8th, 2007, 10:48 AM
( It neede more blood *shot*)

Ha ha. Anyway, I feel this is actually very good. But I have to take in account that you were angry and hurt at the time of writing. Do you beleive you could write this at the end of a great day?

Good job. Fits my standards.

Actually, I know for a fact that I can't write this well if I don't have a swirl of emotions going on inside. I mean I still write poetry on my good days and just whenever the moment irks me, but it's never as good as anything that doesn't come straight from the depths of my heart. However, that shouldn't diminish ones enjoyment of the poetry right? And actually when I wrote this one, I wasn't even very hurt or angry anymore, I mean I wrote the general gist in my head and i was mad then, but when I finally stopped crying enough to get this out of me I was just kinda numb. But anyways, that's enough babbling from me! =P

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. It's one of those that's pretty personal to me because I wrote it from an actual experience I had rather than just something that came to me you know? Well anyways, thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated! =)


It looks very good, Well Reads better then it looks but... well. Anyway, I didn't spot any spelling or grammar errors, but the poem itself was touching on an emotional level, depressing. I hope you make new poems.

Thank you, I actually have been writing quite a lot recently which makes me happy! =) I like writing it makes me feel better, and that I'm actually accomplishing something! Lol! =) I was rereading this poem after I posted it and I think I might make some changes to some of the sentences so that they flow better...

Anyways, I'm really glad you liked it. The subject matter was quite depressing though, unfortunately. It just goes to prove how much it hurts when your best friend, someone you thought you could trust and would always be there for you, drastically lets you down. It's a terrible thing to experience but I'm sure it's happened to all of s at one time or another...