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Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses
August 9th, 2007, 11:21 AM
Hate, It's a word that fills me up, even when I say I've had enough.

Can't run from it as I look at it, and I feel like it and all that is it.

I wish you could feel my pain, my sorrow falling like rain, as I give myself up and say I've had enough.

Cause once you look at it, and focus a bit and see whats fit for all I know.

I have to keep running, and laying the show, down to earth where I can relax and get away from it all.

All in all, I say it's a good call.

Clear my mind, and keep the find as I feel it coming up on me.

Keep running, keep going and all I can do is keep showing.

In the end, all I send in one to bend and I can't feel it come on me

and feel it bleed my dry as I try to fly above the sky and then maybe die and feel the pain of all that goes on and on, to the beat of this song.

I guess it's time to die, flying so high and I can't seem to get ahold on myself, as I look at it and think about it and go on about it.

I can't see what you've done for me and I can't leave whats essitianly me as I fly so high, into the sky ready to die.

Feel all it is, live up to it and let go.

Vavavoom ♣
August 9th, 2007, 11:46 AM
It's good. But it doesn't follow a song's sructure. But I like it, it's original! ^^

Manaphy1128
August 9th, 2007, 02:38 PM
(how many times have I read/heard a song about hate...?)

I wouldn't really say it is a song. No song has lots of spread out sentences. Even though that may not be it...

Other then that, get a new and not over-used subject.

Other then those two things it's okay..

Shinji_
August 11th, 2007, 12:28 PM
It's not really a song, but I really liked the words you bunched togeather;)

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 11th, 2007, 12:55 PM
So can you three explain to me why isn't that a song? Have you ever heard the words "free" and "prose" together?

Just because it doesn't follow the mainstream popular verse-chorus-verse-chorus pattern doesn't mean it's not a song, just for you to know.

Vavavoom ♣
August 11th, 2007, 01:21 PM
So can you three explain to me why isn't that a song? Have you ever heard the words "free" and "prose" together?

Just because it doesn't follow the mainstream popular verse-chorus-verse-chorus pattern doesn't mean it's not a song, just for you to know.

Actually, a song must have structure. If a song doesn't have a structure (Chorus, verse), I don't call that a song. The text that Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses wrote is mostly a text (a poem, I guess). And now, in your brain, you're probably thinking that a poem is a song. Like I said, a song has: A Chorus and Verses. ^^

Manaphy1128
August 11th, 2007, 01:24 PM
Plus, a song must have good flow, and this does not have it. I also noted he need's a better topic then hate. Which is the most over-used subject next to love.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 11th, 2007, 09:11 PM
Actually, a song must have structure. If a song doesn't have a structure (Chorus, verse), I don't call that a song. The text that Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses wrote is mostly a text (a poem, I guess). And now, in your brain, you're probably thinking that a poem is a song. Like I said, a song has: A Chorus and Verses. ^^Free prose. A song is an usually short musical composition. It doesn't NEED a lyrical structure, if it does have words; set to music, a song like that can flow.

It's merely normal that most people believe what you do. That's because all we've got as popular music these days is dominated by the vcvc structure of pop rock that branches on other genres like today's pop-punk and many other mainstream genres, and I don't know what is the fruity music you listen to.

But have you heard about other genres, progressive rock for instance? I think not, because that would mean you should understand this already.

"White Car" by Yes

I see a man in a white car
Move like a ghost on the skyline
Take all your dreams
And you throw them away
Man in a white car.

~

"Pigs on the Wing" by Pink Floyd

If you didn't care what happened to me,
And I didn't care for you,
We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
Wondering which of the buggars to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing.

~

"Seamus" by Pink Floyd

I was in the kitchen
Seamus, that's the dog was outside
Well, I was in the kitchen
Seamus, my old hound was outside
Well, you know the sun was sinking slowly
But my hound just sat right down and cried.

~
"The song remains the same" by Led Zeppelin

I had a dream
Oh, yeah
Crazy dream, uh-huh.
Anything I wanted to know
Any place I needed to go
Hear my song
Yeah...people dont you listen now? sing along!
Oh, you dont know what youre missing now.
Any little song that you know
Everything thats small has to grow.
And it has to grow!
Push push, yeah!
California sunlight, sweet calcutta rain
Honolulu starbright--the song remains the same. ooh! ooh!
Here we go!
Honolulu now...
Sing out hare hare, dance the hoochie koo.
City lights are oh so bright, as we go sliding
Sliding
Sliding through.

Few examples from the top of my head.

Vavavoom ♣
August 11th, 2007, 09:23 PM
Free prose. A song is an usually short musical composition. It doesn't NEED a lyrical structure, if it does have words; set to music, a song like that can flow.

It's merely normal that most people believe what you do. That's because all we've got as popular music these days is dominated by the vcvc structure of pop rock that branches on other genres like today's pop-punk and many other mainstream genres, and I don't know what is the fruity music you listen to.

But have you heard about other genres, progressive rock for instance? I think not, because that would mean you should understand this already.


I don't know what is the fruity music you listen to.

Excuse-me? ~ First of all, you don't have any rights to tell that I listen to fruity music.

But have you heard about other genres, progressive rock for instance? I think not, because that would mean you should understand this already.


No I didn't. At my school, I'm in a Music Class where high class teachers talk about music's history. While talking about that, they talk about poems too, since poems are naturally songs.


~ Free prose. Then why don't the writer of the song, Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses, told us it was a prose?

No blame on me.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 11th, 2007, 09:31 PM
No I didn't. At my school, I'm in a Music Class where high class teachers talk about music's history. While talking about that, they talk about poems too, since poems are naturally songs.Poems can be songs. Song cannot always be closed form poems.


~ Then why don't the writer of the song, Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses, told us it was a prose?Unless you need people to specify what things are so you don't have trouble figuring out yourself or making ignorant statements... He told us it was a song; that's enough. The rest is common sense, I believe...

But just to make sure, did you even understand what I said before? Songs can be written in free prose, it does not matter if the writer does not even know what it is called, it is still what it is, it still can be a song. You said it wasn't.

Manaphy1128
August 11th, 2007, 09:34 PM
Can we stop before word bombs come smashing on us. (What the heck?)

I really would think of it as a poem then a song. I can't beleive you used the word "all" and "most" Careful. I have, for instance not bought into that scheme.

On topic: About Fallen's song. I can see it had some good poem structure in there, even if that isn't what his intentions were. I also would have liked it more if it had a better topic. Hey, i'd take a song about somebody getting struck by lighning then another song about hate.

But this is me talking.

Vavavoom ♣
August 11th, 2007, 09:38 PM
Poems can be songs. Song cannot always be closed form poems.

Unless you need people to specify what things are so you don't have trouble figuring out yourself or making ignorant statements... He told us it was a song; that's enough. The rest is common sense, I believe...

But just to make sure, did you even understand what I said before? Songs can be written in free prose, it does not matter if the writer does not even know what it is called, it is still what it is, it still can be a song. You said it wasn't.

Poems can be songs. Song cannot always be closed form poems.

I know, you're not learning me anything you know...~


But just to make sure, did you even understand what I said before?

Yes, I did understand what you said before. But I still disagree with what you said about Prose. <-


Songs can be written in free prose, it does not matter if the writer does not even know what it is called, it is still what it is, it still can be a song. You said it wasn't.

Oh then now there is a problem. The writer should write what kind of song it is. If/she he just put a post, without any thing else, there is a problem. <-

Merzbau
August 11th, 2007, 09:41 PM
Hate, It's a word that fills me up, even when I say I've had enough.

Can't run from it as I look at it, and I feel like it and all that is it.

I wish you could feel my pain, my sorrow falling like rain, as I give myself up and say I've had enough.

Cause once you look at it, and focus a bit and see whats fit for all I know.

I have to keep running, and laying the show, down to earth where I can relax and get away from it all.

All in all, I say it's a good call.

Clear my mind, and keep the find as I feel it coming up on me.

Keep running, keep going and all I can do is keep showing.

In the end, all I send in one to bend and I can't feel it come on me

and feel it bleed my dry as I try to fly above the sky and then maybe die and feel the pain of all that goes on and on, to the beat of this song.

I guess it's time to die, flying so high and I can't seem to get ahold on myself, as I look at it and think about it and go on about it.

I can't see what you've done for me and I can't leave whats essitianly me as I fly so high, into the sky ready to die.

Feel all it is, live up to it and let go.

Kudos to you for making something that caused a stir.

People are confused about what to make of this, whether to call it a song, or a poem, or what.

That is admirable in my eyes.

True art isn't understood.

I don't care if I sound like an elitist.

I've written songs about rape, insanity, transcendence, and conformity but I've never once gotten half as much recognition as one of the poems that fit the "structure" and were easy to grasp.

Thank you, friend.

Major kudos.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 11th, 2007, 09:45 PM
Oh then now there is a problem. The writer should write what kind of song it is. If/she he just put a post, without any thing else, there is a problem.This is not the case. The writer established it was a song, that's all we need. From there on we're supposed to use our common sense to decipher if it either has a closed structure or if it is just a free prose song. It turned to be free form; you claimed it was not following a song's structure. Now that was a problem.

Also, I noticed I haven't commented on the song. I think it's good, the choice of words and metaphors will really help this become a nice piece with music implemented.

Vavavoom ♣
August 11th, 2007, 09:49 PM
This is not the case. The writer established it was a song, that's all we need. From there on we're supposed to use our common sense to decipher if it either has a closed structure or if it is just a free prose song. It turned to be free form; you claimed it was not following a song's structure. Now that was a problem.

If you want, I can argue all night with you.


That's all we need.

That's not all we need That's all you need. Talk in the name of you, not the others.


It turned to be free form; you claimed it was not following a song's structure. Now that was a problem.

Yes I did claimed it was not followeing a song's structure. As I said in my other post, and I quote:

But I still disagree with what you said about Prose.

Merzbau
August 11th, 2007, 09:51 PM
If you want, I can argue all night with you.



That's not all we need That's all you need. Talk in the name of you, and the others.



Yes I did claimed it was not followeing a song's structure. As I said in my other post, and I quote:

If the artist says it's a song, I don't think you really have the artistic license to say it isn't a song, hon. :> That just doesn't seem right to me...

And I'd like to correct you. It is not following a pop song's structure.

kthxbai. :>

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 11th, 2007, 09:53 PM
Vavavoom, drop it and get on topic please. It does not matter if people disagree anymore; facts are facts.

If you still have trouble figuring out the structure's nature of a particular song/poem, feel free to PM me.

Manaphy1128
August 11th, 2007, 09:55 PM
*is dodging word bombs bouncing around everywhere*

Just wait until Fallen see's then. Maybe he'll clear it for us. Maybe.

I feel this is actually un-nesscary to stay strong for so long *wishing it will end soon*

Vavavoom ♣
August 11th, 2007, 09:55 PM
;2743765']If the artist says it's a song, I don't think you really have the artistic license to say it isn't a song, hon. :> That just doesn't seem right to me...

And I'd like to correct you. It is not following a pop song's structure.

kthxbai. :>

;2743765']
hon

Don't call my " hon ". ;<

;2743765']
If the artist says it's a song, I don't think you really have the artistic license to say it isn't a song.

Oh... And how do you know about that?

;2743765']
And I'd like to correct you. It is not following a pop song's structure.

Remember... Pop songs aren't the only ones with a chorus and verses. ^^

~ Anyway, I don't want to start a huge fight... ~

@ Careful With That Axe, Pichu: I wrote this post without reading yours. That means that I was posting during your reply. So " Drop it " is a bit far. ~ No thanks.
Evil attitude is bad. Should I stop or continue? Let me think...

Manaphy1128
August 11th, 2007, 10:01 PM
*sorts self out after battle*

Now this topic of which we speak:

To say something, I don't entirely hate the thing. I'ts just that it's kind of boring since songs about hate always say the same thing. It never changes.

Merzbau
August 11th, 2007, 10:15 PM
Don't call my " hon ". ;<

K, hon. :>

Oh... And how do you know about that?

I guess as an artist I would probably have the ideas of what art and artistic merit and ethics would be about, no? :x

Remember... Pop songs aren't the only ones with a chorus and verses. ^^

And I couldn't have meant "pop songs" as "popular music", any music that the mainstream listens to that follows the traditional verse chorus verse structure... ;[

------------

ANYWAY, ON TO THE REVIEW!

I like the style.

It wasn't wordy, it was simple, and put the image through well enough for me, I'd say.

It seems like it could be rapped. Is this the case? If so then I think I figured out why it doesn't fit the "structure", very well. :]

I remember seeing a few spelling errors, but no big deal; it was coherent so that doesn't really matter much. Would be something to look into, though.

I get a Method Man vibe from it. I dunno, I could hear him doing this song. ;x

Fallen Angel_Messiah Of Black Roses
August 11th, 2007, 11:13 PM
Holy- ( gets slapped)

I didn't mean to cause such a fuss, this was on impulse after feeling a little depressed.

So... Saying, the word hate was only said once, I never said it was about hate, it was more of confusion. So.. stop fighting

Manaphy1128
August 12th, 2007, 09:25 AM
Ah, no, it kinda sounds like a song that is about someone hating soemone else...trust me, I can dechipher what is hate and what is not.

By the way, when you said, "and feel it bleed my dry as I try to fly above the sky and then maybe die and feel the pain of all that goes on and on, to the beat of this song."

It should be "bleed me" dry, not bleed "my" dry. And songs never have periods to let you know that.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 12th, 2007, 09:37 AM
The fuss was not your fault, we were just discussing the nature of your song. And we were not fighting. In fact we have already straightened things privately; this can be a song.

Also, most of the time people write more deeply when they are at the time feeling what we are trying to transmit. This can be a great example. as I said, I like the metaphors you used, you remind me of certain writer, I just can't recall his name...

And songs never have periods to let you know that.

Excuse me, but I just had to reply to this because it made me laugh so hard. Punctuation can be omitted but sometimes it's crucial to define the direction of sentences. If the writer wishes he/she can make use of it in songs or not. That includes periods, to let you know that.

Manaphy1128
August 12th, 2007, 09:46 AM
Thanks for the help *said in a voice dripping with sarcasam*

And you're probably going to make fun of me for my opinon of how I look at songs too...

The layout of it looks exactly like a list. All the spaces and periods and such strongly reminds me of...

And by the way, can you show me a song that has been published by the media that has periods in it? I'd really like to see that...

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
August 12th, 2007, 10:06 AM
And by the way, can you show me a song that has been published by the media that has periods in it? I'd really like to see that...Media? Are you serious? Do you base theose arguments and grammatical disagreements of literature on the media?

The structure of FAMOBR's song is acceptable whether it has punctuation or not.

Songs can have periods.

But you ask for one song! Just one, my friend?

Do you know what's my favorite song, by the way? It's called Shine On You Crazy Diamond. The official lyrics written and published by Roger Waters himself were these:

"Shine On You Crazy Diamond (I-V)"

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Google it, tune in, go to your beautiful Wikipedia, and you'll find the same lyrics anywhere. I have the original LP here, those are the lyrics printed in the sleeve. That's your beloved media.

Manaphy1128
August 12th, 2007, 10:19 AM
Oh no. The more the better.

But yeah. This song is 100% hate to me.