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A spoonful of humour makes the medicine go down.
Rating: 4 votes, 4.75 average.

To The Staff Member Who Deleted My VM

Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 05:38 PM by Katholic Nun
Updated July 24th, 2011 at 06:37 AM by Katholic Nun
Tags infallible

I don’t know who you are, or where you live, but I will find out. And when I do find out, you should be careful – really careful. Because if there are two things in this world I will not tolerate, they are censorship and discrimination. I belong to a very small group of like-minded people, and we all agree that your bigotry toward our kind is completely unacceptable, and you should know that we are seriously considering legal action against both this site and you personally – whoever you may be.

For those of you who don’t understand what I’m talking about, here is the story:

I was having a VM conversation with user Landorus and I revealed something to him that was very personal to me, yet also affected him. I guess there is no use in hiding it from you all - that would be counterproductive to myself and my people, who are so incredibly tired of having to hide who we really are. I told Landorus that I had engaged in acts of an intimate nature – acts that this as-yet anonymous staff member feels are not societally tolerable - with his mother’s Sigilyph.

No, the word Sigilyph was not innuendo for anything. We are talking about a real Pokémon #561 Sigilyph.

I remember the evening well. I was staying at Landorus’s house overnight, as I do so often. We were watching TV, the four of us – me, Landorus, his mother and her Sigilyph (Siggy, to me) – when Landorus and his mother left to go and pick up the pizza we had ordered. It’s cheaper to pick up the pizza than to have it delivered, you see, and these are economically tough times in which we live. So this left Siggy and I alone in the house. Our eyes met across the room and the feelings that took over my body caught me by surprise. I had looked at him so many times before but never really seen him, you know? Here is a picture to help you all visualise, because I honestly cannot fathom how so few people find this creature as erotically charging as I do.



Just look at the beautiful the way the colours are draped across his body, the pale blue at the tips of its fingered wings – those wings that did things to me not only hormonally, but also, it seems spiritually. I get shivers just looking at its stunning shapely form... but I digress. Needless to say, in that moment that our eyes met we fell in love, and the sweet love we made that night still radiates through me as I write. I knew in that moment that this would not just be a fling – not just a one-night indiscretion. Our love is deep, and it’s real.

So you can imagine my mortification when I woke up this morning to this VM from Landorus:



Inappropriate? How can love be inappropriate? I turned to Siggy, who stayed over at my place last night, and he agreed that this was wrong. This is plain bigotry, and it has no place in 2011.

So who do you think you are, sir/madam? Who do you think you are to tell me that my love is disgusting? It is nothing if not beautiful and natural. Siggy was a willing participant in the events that happened that night (and on many occasions since), and it is not for you or anybody else to tell me that the way we feel about each other is, as you say, ‘Inappropriate’. I challenge you to reveal yourself. Come and fight me like a man (or woman). You will not win. Why, you ask?

Because I have a flying boyfriend with psychic powers... and he is incredibly protective of me.

---

To those of you out there who are like me, I encourage you to step forward. We must no longer hide in the dark. For when we do, they win.

It should be noted that like the VM in question, this blog is a joke. Love you long time, staff! Call me!
Posted inUncategorized
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Total Comments 25

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    shenanigans's Avatar
    You really go too far sometimes.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 05:47 PM by shenanigans shenanigans is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Xyrin's Avatar
    lol
    i laughed my butt off at that
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 05:51 PM by Xyrin Xyrin is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Perrie ✿'s Avatar
    I saw this at first and I was like omg drama ):

    but then I saw Sigilyph and I was like lol.

    A good read, Andrew.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 05:54 PM by Perrie ✿ Perrie ✿ is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Melody's Avatar
    I don't know whether or not to say loldrama or omgtroll.

    Funny anyway. You're a card. I can see why Audy likes ya. xD
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 05:58 PM by Melody Melody is offline
  5. Old Comment
    lmfao rairai

    you're awesome :)
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 06:02 PM by Vrai Vrai is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Jak's Avatar
    This is a sexy story. When you and Sigilyph break up, call me! ;)
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 06:04 PM by Jak Jak is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Xyrin's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Pachy View Comment
    I don't know whether or not to say loldrama or omgtroll.

    Funny anyway. You're a card. I can see why Audy likes ya. xD
    Neither. This was a joke through and through. He was totally joking.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 06:04 PM by Xyrin Xyrin is offline
  8. Old Comment
    vaporeon7's Avatar
    The bad thing about writing 'Siggy' is that I think of Signomi by that name. o.0
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 06:55 PM by vaporeon7 vaporeon7 is offline
  9. Old Comment
    G.U.Y.'s Avatar
    Quote:
    I honestly cannot fathom how so few people find this creature as erotically charging as I do
    I laughed so hard when I read this. xD

    Best blog ever.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 06:58 PM by G.U.Y. G.U.Y. is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Gumball Watterson's Avatar
    I've seen Sigilyph give so many Flying type Pokemon some Wingboners. It's alright.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 07:04 PM by Gumball Watterson Gumball Watterson is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Oryx's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by vaporeon7 View Comment
    The bad thing about writing 'Siggy' is that I think of Signomi by that name. o.0
    Me too. How does she feel about this?

    Anyway omg you're so funny. xDDD;
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 07:22 PM by Oryx Oryx is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Osha_say_wott?!'s Avatar
    That reminded me of that time CENSORED.
    The meaning of 'humble' and 'pika' were never the same again.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 07:46 PM by Osha_say_wott?! Osha_say_wott?! is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar
    I love you bro. For reals.
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 08:42 PM by Anna Anna is online now
  14. Old Comment
    Antebellum's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Razor Leaf View Comment
    You really go too far sometimes.
    A++
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 09:20 PM by Antebellum Antebellum is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Lilith's Avatar
    I'm incredibly protective of my younger members! There are some words you should not say. Although your relationship is very beautiful, so wonderful that you share it with the community, keep it off the boards, okies? Sorry if I upset you. I reported your VM. :(

    /being serious in a non serious blog post
    Posted July 23rd, 2011 at 09:39 PM by Lilith Lilith is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Kip's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TwilightBlade View Comment
    I reported your VM.
    AVAST! THE TRAITOR HAS BEEN REVEALED! BRING OUT THE FLAMING TORCHES!



    (+ Rairai - that blog made me laugh. :D )
    Posted July 24th, 2011 at 02:50 AM by Kip Kip is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Guy's Avatar
    Now only if we had some more blog stories like this, haha.

    ...Where's the like button?
    Posted July 24th, 2011 at 04:40 AM by Guy Guy is offline
  18. Old Comment
    Hybrid Trainer's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sydian View Comment
    This is a sexy story. When you and Sigilyph break up, call me! ;)
    Psh, he'll be calling me first ;D
    Posted July 24th, 2011 at 06:10 AM by Hybrid Trainer Hybrid Trainer is offline
  19. Old Comment
    Lady Gaga's Avatar
    In this quiet public place reading this, I laughed so hard out loud. Another great blog Rai :)
    Posted July 24th, 2011 at 09:50 AM by Lady Gaga Lady Gaga is offline
  20. Old Comment
    Lance's Avatar
    Dear god 20 comments.

    *adjusts moncle and claps*
    Posted July 24th, 2011 at 01:27 PM by Lance Lance is online now
 

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