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A spoonful of humour makes the medicine go down.
Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.

Toujours Overlooked

Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 08:59 PM by Sodom

Dear PokeCommunity Higher Staff,

I am writing you this letter to let you know that there are no hard feelings. I know that choosing a new moderator must be difficult when there is a sea of eager faces desperate to take on the position, and to choose between them can never be simple. Also, finding somebody that fits into that blue miniskirt cannot be an easy task to undertake. Even still, I have to wonder why I have never been offered a position, and after a string of questionable decisions I feel I can no longer hold my tongue.

I have done everything right. I joined the community seven months ago and immediately set about my campaign to become a mod. It is generally accepted that the easiest way to become a mod is to make friends with the current staff. So I did exactly that! I managed to befriend Live_Wire466, Forever, Kaori, bobandbill, Erik Destler, Patchisou Yutohru, Luke, Drew, Ausaudriel – and after some work – Captain Fabio. Seriously you can check it out – they’re all on my friends list, I'm not even joking.

Now, I’m not silly. I know that no matter how many friends you make on staff, you can’t be modded if you are not active. Therefore the second most important thing, as I read in the book I bought on the very day I joined The PokeCommunity – How To Become a Moderator: Three Easy Steps for vBulletin Success! by poketrainer2004 – is post count! Now, I don’t want to brag, but my post count has reached more than one thousand. That’s right, one thousand posts. That’s three zeros after that one. Once a higher staff member got wind of this phenomenon, I was expecting an immediate invitation into the next available staff position. So since it has not come, the only conclusion I can draw is that no-one has noticed yet, because surely if they had my name would be in bold blue by now. I even went so far as to create an alt account as most staff members do, just as a pre-emptive strike to fit in when in the inevitable occurred.

It all started when Alternative was named moderator of Other Clubs. I was of course shocked by this: after all, I was the natural choice! I am a member of four different clubs – and I’m even active in one of them! Also, it’s worth noting that the club I’m active in is the LGBTQIAA Alliance. Do you know what this means? It means I’m gay. Yes, gay. I am in a minority, and therefore you are morally bound to give me preferential treatment over everybody else. Isn’t that how it works? We aren’t allowed to get married, so in equalising we get first pick at mod positions on Pokemon forums. I’m sure I saw that in the constitution. Unless, of course, you are homophobic, in which case legal action will be considered against both The PokeCommunity and each individual higher staff member who did not vote for me.

Next, Meganium90 was modded in New Users / Welcome. Again, I was floored by the sheer incompetence that the higher staff have shown. Why did they not choose me? I have welcomed new users before! I must have upwards of ten posts in that forum, and while I’m aware of how fond Meganium is of the newer members, my Mummy taught me that I am an amazing person and that I can have anything I want in life – so I expected that my all-pervasive awesomeness would be enough to win me the day. Clearly, I was wrong.

Then last week, Spinosaurus was modded in Pokemon Groups. He has an intense passion for this forum, and I’m sure he will do wonderfully as its moderator, however I am once again left wondering – why not me? Sure, I do not belong to any of the groups, and indeed I don’t believe I have ever once posted in that forum, but if you look at my Other Clubs participation record it’s plain to see that the ‘club’ genre is something at which I am extremely talented.

But yesterday, yesterday is the one that really stung. Toujours was made the moderator of Pokemon General. Now, the reason this stung is twofold: Firstly, I joined PokeCommunity five weeks before she did! Doesn’t this mean I get the first offer? Secondly, it’s widely acknowledged that that girl has been nothing but trouble since she day she joined back in March. All it takes is one glance at her join date and her post count to see that she is clearly a spammer. She brings nothing to the community and is clearly only here with a view to causing trouble. You might as well have unbanned a random member that was exiled for posting porn and put him in charge of Community Announcements. I can see it now: “Announcement: I like boobs”

Now, the thing about Toujours is that she is clever in her approach. She may seem to be the best member since Chairman Kaga, but in fact everything she says has a mocking energy that very few people have the ability to see. Here is an example of a post she made in Pokemon General – the very section that was given to her to look after.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toujours
The point I'm making is that the Pokemon attack doesn't exist in real life because they're not attacks in real life. And you can get some real pain with a hose if you get a lot of pressure behind it; try putting your thumb over most of the hose and narrowing the hole so you get more water pressure and it can start to hurt. Bubbles will never hurt.
Now, this may seem to the untrained eye like a straightforward argument, but look a little closer. You can see how she mocks the idea of Pokemon in general; belittling it with her words. You can see it now, can’t you? She is not even a real Pokemon fan. She is just a heavily veiled troll looking to destroy the community from the inside. And you’ve just handed her the first step toward the power she will need to do just that.

My final argument is this: Moderators need to be sexy. If this weren’t true, then the emblem a person gets for being modded would be called “Frumpy Moderator”. Now, I’m not denying that Toujours is a sexy person, this much is evidenced by the seductive speech and tones with which she fooled you all into modding her in the first place. But is she really the most sexy person for the job? I’d like you all to take a look at this photo of me:
Spoiler:

Look at the way the sexual energy just oozes from me, seeping from my pores and giving you urges the same way radiation gives you cancer. I even wear sexy glasses, surely that is the sign of a moderator-to-be.

Now, there really is no argument I could give that would be more effective than that picture, so I’ll just leave that with you and let it do its job.

Now again, I'd like to re-iterate that there are no hard feelings for these decisions. I totally get it, you need to keep up appearances of hiring on an 'equal opportunity' basis rather than just giving me all the sections because I'm so damn awesome. But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't be penalised for being so amazing. Anyway, I'll await my PM

Love, Shining Raichu.
Posted inUncategorized
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Total Comments 25

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Livewire's Avatar
    “Announcement: I like boobs”
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:02 PM by Livewire Livewire is offline
  2. Old Comment
    moments.'s Avatar
    At first I was like, "oh shiiii, he is going there" and then it got funny! :D
    Good read! I love these, blogs you do! DO MORE!
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:06 PM by moments. moments. is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar
    You're sexy & totes deserve this position, although I will then have to steal your couch.
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:09 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Oryx's Avatar
    I can't compare to that sexiness :((((((((
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:10 PM by Oryx Oryx is online now
  5. Old Comment
    Perrie ✿'s Avatar
    i vote for Raichu, Toujours has gross bacon. )))))):
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:17 PM by Perrie ✿ Perrie ✿ is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Spinosaurus's Avatar
    Quote:
    my Mummy taught me that I am an amazing person and that I can have anything I want in life
    OK, THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:17 PM by Spinosaurus Spinosaurus is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Zeffy's Avatar
    Be more like Toujours then, get more bacon.
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:26 PM by Zeffy Zeffy is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Zet's Avatar
    Oh my various Gods, go be a crybaby somewhere else! Like seriously just get out, no one loves you here so there's no reason to stay here!!!!


    Nah just kidding, I don't have various Gods. But seriously man, we all love you <3
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:35 PM by Zet Zet is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Snow Phoenix's Avatar
    *whacks Rai with a Mallet* :3 I raise you a big bump for a big ego <3

    And you already have job, dear. Look at your nametag dangling from your sexy chest ^.^ Spare the economy and give the less fortunate a twirl on the highroad ;3 Bet you didn't think anyone would notice, eh?
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:39 PM by Snow Phoenix Snow Phoenix is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Alternative's Avatar
    mods can also be either manly like me, striking like miss doronjo, or everything/gender bendering like sydian. :P
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:43 PM by Alternative Alternative is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Forever's Avatar
    XDDDDDDDD

    Shining you are amazing.
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 09:47 PM by Forever Forever is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Jeremy's Avatar
    THIS BLOG HAS BEEN SWEETIE APPROVED!
    Posted September 3rd, 2011 at 11:58 PM by Jeremy Jeremy is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Announcement: I like boobs

    ...this whole blog had me laughing. my ribs hurt. :c
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 01:07 AM by Vrai Vrai is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Went's Avatar
    Uh, How To Become a Moderator: Three Easy Steps for vBulletin Success! I need that book.
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 01:36 AM by Went Went is online now
  15. Old Comment
    Sydian's Avatar
    DID SOMEONE CALL MY NAME
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 05:35 AM by Sydian Sydian is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Kaori's Avatar
    Vote4ShiningRaichu. HE WONT LET YOU DOWN
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 07:06 AM by Kaori Kaori is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Forever's Avatar
    ^ WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY IDENTITY BEFORE SHE EDITED. I SAW HER!!!
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 07:08 AM by Forever Forever is offline
  18. Old Comment
    Forever's Avatar
    Also Syd your avatar looks like Justin Bieber kinda. idk I had to point that out SOMEWHERE.
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 07:09 AM by Forever Forever is offline
  19. Old Comment
    Exile's Avatar
    Haha, this was actually a p cute blog, and I could not help but taste the secret teaspoon of illuminati herein. I hope it doesn't actually hurt your chances at mods, though, lmao.
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 08:23 AM by Exile Exile is offline
  20. Old Comment
    Gold warehouse's Avatar
    Ever get that feeling where you can taste a little bit of vomit at the back of your throat?
    Posted September 4th, 2011 at 02:49 PM by Gold warehouse Gold warehouse is offline
 

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