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I just... don't understand.

Posted January 25th, 2009 at 01:41 AM by BeachBoy

In case you're not or haven't been in close contact with me recently, there has been a lot of... war, lately. Not war as in bombs 'n' death, fighting soldiers, or defense of some imaginary character in the sky. In my case, rather, family. It's never really pretty though, is it?

But let's back track first...

I recently, for English class, had to do an essay on the Effects of Divorce on Children. Being plenty experienced in the subject myself, I passed with flying colors. Later on, after submitting the essay, realized a point I wish I had dove into that ocean of paragraphs.

When a parent goes... away, the fighting doesn't really follow with them, maybe for a lil' bit it does, but once teenagers factor in, it doesn't... (although it depends on the situation) Instead of parent vs. parent, it trickles down a step, one of the children adopts and learns from the fighting, and the emotional stressors embedded in their system becomes their "dark side," if you will.

My sister is bipolar, for one, and two, she's more like the thorn in the skin rather than the... lotion? =/ *shrugs* But anyway, here's the scenario of my life lately;

We've found an incredible house, from one of my mother's coworkers, for rent. It'd be a $450 decrease in rent payment monthly. That's huge, in my world. Um, it's... the one place where I would feel like all that I've sacrificed would be returned. Hmm, how to say this... For most of my life, I've always been a people before me person. I gave up so others can enjoy the satisfaction of something, most likely something of mine. One of the people I always felt like I had to make their life feel better by my sacrifice was my sister. I don't have a lot of stuff, and she has mountains of whatever, so I gave up my room and sleep on the couch at night. So she can have that fine living condition, and I move on like usual. The favor is usually returned, right?

Well, because our current apartment is no longer on lease, rent shoots up. $1250 a month, and honestly, we're struggling big time. Barely getting by.

To get into more detail about this house, Heather (my sister) would even get the master bedroom. I would, yet again, sacrifice my things, so I would be projected to live in the garage. Now, don't get the wrong idea, I would revamp that entire thing. It'd look nothing like a garage, so shush. :P The biggest thing, is that is has a yard. Tink and Scruffles have the ability to run and enjoy fresh air whenever they please, and that's what we want. We want Tink to run, she's an outdoor kinda dog.

More pro.
+ has an orange tree (my kind of heaven)
+ pine tree (throw pine cones around with Tink XD)
+ backyard
+ two very big tvs
+ much better area (not near the highway)
+ near center of everything really
+ calm streets

The main and ONLY con.
- 3 miles further.
Now, that may be big or small to you. Mm'kay, Heather and I are school -> home, walkers. Now, after school, we walk past the park and right to our apartment complex. This new house, is through the park / library and down about two miles. Basically, after school, we'd go to the library or park to do homework, let mom pick us up and boom, perfection.
And what happens? My sister won't allow it. Nope, can't walk 100 more feet to the park or library, can't ride a NICE CLEAN PUBLIC BUS in case of inclement weather. Nope, she thinks it's all for scum people. The spoiled son of a biscuit.

Everything about this place... is perfect, bar that it has two rooms and that it's a few miles further. And yet when we go to the house today, she's screaming at the top of her lungs trying to do whatever she can to make sure we (and the dogs) are in the hellhole that is the way too expensive apartment. D:

If... you still have a friendly relationship with your sister or brother or any family member, cherish it. If you're all alone, be happy you don't have the stress and terror of a possible sibling like that. So yeah, why have I been inactive recently? Family war.

Everything's falling apart...
...all thanks to a few miles.
Posted inControversy
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Dukey's Avatar
    Man. You said a little while back that your sis was being a pain about that. But hopefully she'll give in. You're probably not this type of guy, but maybe a little guilt trip might help a bit if you know what I mean.

    Anyway, the house sounds great, so best of luck with it, and have fun (hopefully) with that garage, I'd love that kinda space. -Looks at 1x2 floor space in bedroom- =/
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 01:48 AM by Dukey Dukey is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Aizuke's Avatar
    Aww.. I was wondering where you were the last couple of days.. ;;

    I'm sorry to hear your sister is being a pain in ass. D: I know how it feels to deal with siblings. :x

    Though something like this wouldn't just be a sacrifice you have to make, your sister should keep in mind how this affects your mother too. Perhaps a pep talk is in order for her. :x I'm sure she can spare a few miles of walking compared to how much money your family can save if you moved houses. Though I'm sure you've already told her of this..

    Still, hope everything turns out okay. ;; ilu. <3
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 02:00 AM by Aizuke Aizuke is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Hiidoran's Avatar
    I sure wish I could relate to your situation, Ryan. I suppose I've been blessed by being the youngest myself and never having said obligations or making such sacrifices.

    I do hope everything works out all right for you though. You truly deserve to be happy, Ryan. I guess I can only hope that somehow your sister realizes what all you do for her and changes her attitude.

    Not much of a pet talk, was it?
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 02:04 AM by Hiidoran Hiidoran is online now
  4. Old Comment
    Zet's Avatar
    I'm guessing the more food thing didnt work on her?
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 02:28 AM by Zet Zet is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Sammi's Avatar
    Gimmie your phone number. I'll yell at your sister for you.

    *shot*

    But yeah... sometimes people are stubborn. Can you move without her approval?
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 10:03 AM by Sammi Sammi is offline
  6. Old Comment
    TwilightBlade's Avatar
    Beachy. ;; -hugs-

    I'm not "tight" with my brothers anymore, and my parents have been wanting to divorce since 2000. I would think that splitting up would ease the tensions, but it seems to have had a negative effect on your sister. At least you are kind to her. She should be appreciative that she has you as her brother.

    I used to be stuck-up like that, but I've adapted to riding the bus. I can't sleep if I was the driver.. So yay. I can't walk more than 100 feet either, but that's a small thing to sacrifice. With all that you've done for her, she should be the one sacrificing this time, not you. Selfish girl needs a whoopin'. D:

    I hope everything goes well so you can enjoy the orange tree nice house.
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 10:18 AM by TwilightBlade TwilightBlade is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Cherrim's Avatar
    Are you guys going to move anyway? I really think you should. :( I may not know the situation or your sister that well but she's just whining big time. Once you guys move and this HORRIBLE OMG situation actually comes into play, she'll learn to buck up and deal with it. All brats her age do. I did. 8|;

    Honestly, the fact is that it's a $450 decrease per month in rent in a world economy that's utter crap. She's got to be the most selfish person in the world if she's not seeing that at all and one day, I assure you, she will realize what a brat she's being and will most likely apologize or try to make it up to you guys. But it remains that whether she's going to whine and moan about this, it really needs to be done. She'll start seeing that waiting a few hours at the library isn't so bad. Because what's the alternative? You guys stay in your current place until you can't afford it anymore and... then what!? That's so worrisome. D:

    Seriously sit her down and give her the biggest guilt trip of her life. May not be your style but your sister seriously needs some sense knocked into her. She's pissing me off big time and I don't even know her. XD; If that doesn't work, see if your mom will just... say you guys are moving and that's that? ._. I dunno exactly how the fighting situation is but I know sometimes you just have to do things and not offer a choice. It's great that your mom is including the both of you so intensively but if your sister won't budge, it's probably just time to toss down the ultimatum. Move to the house with you guys or get kicked out on the streets. :P Might be a lot of fighting for the first while but from what I can see here, it'll be worth it in the end.
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 10:50 AM by Cherrim Cherrim is offline
  8. Old Comment
    BeachBoy's Avatar
    I think that's actually what we're going to do. She'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.

    And believe me when I say we've really tried everything thus far Erica. the sit down, the gutter street drive to show how much she should be fortunate for, etc. D:

    *shrugs* Today is actually pretty calm today though, hopefully the sign of things to come. :D
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 11:33 AM by BeachBoy BeachBoy is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Avey's Avatar
    *Repeats everything Erica says in a slightly more aggressive and heartless tone*
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 12:01 PM by Avey Avey is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Cherrim's Avatar
    Wait, you've already done most of that and she's STILL whining about that? Wow what an ungrateful kid.

    Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll start joining clubs and stuff at school so she has better things to do than whine at you the whole time you guys are in the library.
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 12:57 PM by Cherrim Cherrim is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Zet's Avatar
    call in Richard Simons to get her motivated for exercise
    Posted January 25th, 2009 at 04:09 PM by Zet Zet is offline
  12. Old Comment
    If she wants to stay in the current apartment, have you considered letting her stay there on the condition that she pay for it herself? For that matter, is she old enough to participate in the workforce? If nothing else, you could try a "self-experience" exercise where you force her to discover how difficult it is to make that much money each month. Honestly, despite having moved several times in my life, I do not have much experience with what you are going through.

    However, regarding that comment about finding happiness in seclusion...it is not possible. Yes, an individual can grow accustomed to being alone, but this is not the same as enjoyment, and there is rarely any joy to be found in it, if ever.
    Posted January 26th, 2009 at 11:08 AM by Forci Stikane Forci Stikane is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Tater Tot's Avatar
    Oh, my gosh. o____O I don't even know what to say. Perhaps, the parents could drive Heather to school? Unless, she considers her own car a dump. XD I'm sorry, BB. You deserve more. :x
    Posted January 26th, 2009 at 05:24 PM by Tater Tot Tater Tot is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Archer's Avatar
    I know what it's like to have an unreasonable sibling. Not to that extent, but it can make things difficult. Here's the thing:
    If the parent doesn't allow them to get their own way, then she's going to realised (once your moved in) that complaining and making things difficult aren't going to make a difference.

    I was similar when it came to the "being nice and letting the sibling go first" idea, but you learn that they eventually expect to get their own way, and become self-righteous and demanding. You really have to make it clear that she's gone over the boundaries and that you're not going to let her get her own way all of the time.

    As for the issue of getting home...There's a few options.
    Walk. If it's not really further, then what is she complaining about? If it's waiting at the library, then I have to do that every afternoon as well and it's not torture. You'll make friends that are there and you get the time to do work with minimal distractions. (Which tend to kill me.)

    Also, when can you get your car lisence? I realise money's an issue, but it's better than staying in the appartment. 3 miles isn't that far on a bike, so you could consider that. :D

    Good luck, mate.
    Posted January 26th, 2009 at 10:19 PM by Archer Archer is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Azonic's Avatar
    Our family moved into a nice big house of our dreams until we found out my dad was cheating on my mom, so now we can't enjoy our lives as much as we used to even in a better environment. Similar? I guess.
    Posted January 28th, 2009 at 04:44 PM by Azonic Azonic is offline
 

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