firstly, [url=http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1211/69700.html]this link is just a little bit awesome[/url] ;3.
last night i went to a christmas feast with my high school friends! it was amazing and there was so much food @_______@
spot the lacella!
i was hesitant about going because, well... i pretty much lost contact with them after graduation. i think i just got sick of people to be completely honest, closed myself off during the latter part of 12th grade and just became a hermit. then i got into a roll of terrible relationships and... yeah. haha.
it's been a while since i've actually been irl with people i consider friends and not just co-workers, or people that were part of projects i helped lead, or parent's friends who i met at dinner parties and the like. in those cases, i don't really open up to them about my personal life because 1. work is the only thing we had in common 2. i'm a leader-figure and that always causes some sort of distance, even if subtle and 3. they're my parent's friends, so, y'know. and i have to play the perfect daughter role etc.
so for years i've kind of just been by myself irl, and like pretty awkward around others because those were the only types of people i was ever around. right now i'm not sure why i'm word vomiting all this to PC, haha. but in a way it's for me, really. anyway, that stuff just made me so awkward. i fluctuate between really shy in person to confident, but i'm never really comfortable to open up to anyone.
but then last night it was like... whoa. haha. two of the girls have their own place now (it's super pretty) and they kept inviting me to sleep over sometime. i hadn't seen any of them since easter and before that, i hadn't seen them for years. and they were saying that they missed me and stuff and i guess i was just like, really really happy and wondering what exactly happened between highschool and now? why'd i push everyone away? i don't know if it was an extended bout of depression or what.
so i guess... this is my step back into a world where i actually have my own friends irl, regardless of who they know in my family. it sounds so pathetic LOL. but... yeah. and i'm really happy. the feast was a wonderful start to the christmas season n___n.
p.s., I STARTED BLACK AND I ALREADY LOVE IT AHHHHH.
ok BYE and thanks for having the patience to read through this if you did (: xx
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 12:46 PM by Blade_of_darkness
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 1:14 PM by lacella
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 1:26 PM by donavannj
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 1:27 PM by mystletainn
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 1:50 PM by lacella
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 2:35 PM by donavannj
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 2:49 PM by Overlord Drakow
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 2:51 PM by vaporeon7
Posted December 4th, 2011 at 3:04 PM by lacella