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From daily life in the astral planes to tutorials and creativity showcase, this blog documents the thoughts, feelings, and everything Kurui x3. Comments appreciated!
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~You~ :: The Best Of Medicines

Posted July 14th, 2012 at 08:12 AM by Kurui

"Without your gentle guidance, walking down this stray line, what's there to me?"

~~**~~

Arigatou:

First, thank you all so much, those who kept in contact with me and are helping me through a difficult time. You are THE BEST. Losing someone close is never easy especially someone you really love.

Second, sorry if I ever seemed so distant. Being without him was torture, and some of you really understood. I can't ask for better friends, really. But all of you guys are right. I can't waste myself into depression forever. He wouldn't have wanted that and there are things I need to do. Things he and I were doing together that he'd want me to finish. And I'm all more glad for those of you who are finishing those things with me! <3

~~**~~

YOU:

I can't be sad when you're around. Your smile doesn't allow my tears. <3 Your jokes, your funny accent, the way you take everything in, just you. <3

I'm not moving on too quickly, am I? I think I've just fallen more for you because of your strong shoulder. In a way you remind me of him. Looking nothing alike, speaking nothing alike, but I look at your eyes and I see the same gentleness just in a different colour. You would have gotten along well with him, I think.

You'll understand how empty I feel without him here. The ceremony left me blank, but you kept me from spiraling down. I'd rather be a comfortable sort of numb than choking on my tears. That first night left a scar to remind me how attached to him I was. Was it me that drove him away and left me behind? No. Kageroza-kun always had his own agenda. He knew what it was to love and yet be independent. It wasn't that he didn't care about me, but he KNEW I'd always be there, in whatever shape or form, even though we spent so much time physically apart.

I do miss those days. I miss eating with him. I miss the feel of his hands touching my hair. I miss him talking quietly to me at the nights he spent in my bed before disappearing into early morning......before I even woke. I just miss HIM you know.

But I'll never miss him to the point that I forget people I have here still. Because of you. You told me "You'll see him again someday. But at least enjoy what you have now, love. Why waste the moments?" You're absolutely freaking right. Gosh.....where were you when my ex boyfriend years and years ago died? I could have used you then when I spent countless days drawn up in covers, biting my thumb and crying. You're so unshakeable. I'm sorry for what you've had to go through to get to that point, but God must have been merciful to send you along right before he took Kageroza-kun.

Please stay in my life. I need you here and I want you here. You make everything so bright. I wish I could tell you to your face but I'm clumsy with words. ;;

You're my pill. The cure.

And...........

I love you, hey? I know I can say that without any regrets.
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