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From daily life in the astral planes to tutorials and creativity showcase, this blog documents the thoughts, feelings, and everything Kurui x3. Comments appreciated!
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~Photograph~ :: Never Friday

Posted July 25th, 2012 at 12:05 AM by Kurui
Updated July 25th, 2012 at 12:14 AM by Kurui

"Near. Far. Wherever you are~"

~~**~~

Remains:

I miss our little Thursday shenanigans. Causing havoc at the malls, you, me, Eri, Emozomi-chan, and Brent. Lucky, or unlucky enough, Renko found a picture of us in a file folder I sent to her with writings (and it obviously had clutter too). Remember when we toasted nachos at TGIF's? Of course not. You're dead. But it's still an amazing memory. And captured right on image. I don't look at it anymore though. Cause I miss your smile, baby. </3

For the first time in a long time I wish Kabu lived nearer to my place. I had an itching to go to dinner and a movie (well not just A movie, but Prometheus) but there's nobody to go with (Um well not anyone who would drive over to Little Rock just to make me happy) unless you count David whose idea of intelligent conversation consists of grunts and occasional nodding of the head. I GUESS that's no different from your "I see.", but at least your attention span is more than decent.

I'm keeping my blog to somewhat write open letters to you. Like, I don't know if dead guys even read letters from the living, but it doesn't hurt to make efforts.

And I never got to go to TGIF's with you ON a Friday. Always a Thursday when your time was more free. Why did you ever have to work so much? It didn't really pay off in the end.........Guess there's no time regretting those mistakes now. I just wish I had more time with you besides the nights we spent together there closer at the end before you left off again. Would you still have run off so many times if you knew our time was short? Probably. You were always so stubborn. I love you, dead fool. <3 But I'm halfway blessed that you don't haunt me or anything.

Even though my new love interest isn't working out, I'm still having fun with the Toad. He's.......quite amazing, and I think you'd have been annoyed by him~ although you'd reluctantly admit to enjoying his company. His thick cockney is growing on me just as quick as warts grow on him. I think my voice is going to stick that way if I mock him every time we Skype. Then again, you probably don't care much for me talking about potential loves. I think the dead can still get jealous. Or maybe I've watched one too many horror flicks.

Anywho, I miss you to bits and pieces. My love for you will never EVER die, even if I move on and get married to some other random probably quarter-or-more insane guy.

You were my everything, Kageroza-kun. </3 But I'll have to find someone else to toast nachos with.

~~**~~

Only Semi-Broken:

The webcam chat started nearly as soon as his name disappeared from the "Mortimer is ONLINE!" alert that flashed at the bottom of my screen. There he was, in all his humorous glory; fuzzy hair, odd eyes, jacked up teeth and.......wait. What was this? I gaped at the condition of his face. Gashes and scratches lines him from brow to jaw, some more gruesome looking than others.

"Mort!" I gasped, barely noticing myself speak as I looked on in horror mixed with concern.

He tilted his head and blinked a few times. "Wot'sit, love?" His voice and adorkable animalistic mannerisms instantly brought me out of my terror-trance.

"Your face. What happened to it?"

"Oh tha'." His expression was dim and somewhat sour. The kind of expression that made you wait for some overblown dramatic story of gangfights and muggings. "Well I was walkin' through th'all......" Oh, God, they entered his home? That's going to be twice this week. "An I wos passin by th' mirror." Glass from a mirror.....Jesus. They really did him in, poor guy........"Th' bloody wors' reflection I ever saw struck m'eye, love, n'my face......i' cracked! I' cracked from 'ow 'ideous I wos." His expression remained as stiff and serious as when he first started.

I slapped my forehead with my palm. "Did the mirror break, too?" I asked, trying not to laugh, and my curiosity still piqued.

"No, nuna love. N'if i' did, I'd o' been righ' pissed. Cos tha' wos a %$&#$% expensive mirror, i' wos." And now he was smiling. That somewhat cocky grin that I'd come to practically marry.

And though our chats stretched from every topic far and wide, he admitted to his cruel self-torture, spurred on by some passing idiot on Facebook who had made a nasty comment about his appearance. As if digging into his face with a blade would help. One botched do-it-yourself-make-over.

I couldn't help but think that this was his mistake. He swept me under the rug when all I want to do is show him that the pieces are all there. Just needing a little bit of polish. It was a gradual falling in love compared to how it was with Kageroza-kun and I, but that doesn't mean that it's less real. I like settling in comfortably, like sitting on a seat that sinks as it sucks you into it's soft padding. It's too bad he can't see how perfect he is. "Beautiful disaster" as Renko would like to put it. Ditto.

After many hours of giggling and horsing around on cam, he finally tuckered himself out and lay his head down. Now I'm watching the top of his head again and listening to his sleeping breaths. It's been a near every night occurrence like this. And I think my heart is tugging more and more in his general direction. New York is a far way away. This Titanic would sink before it scraped the next state's iceburg. Funny reference, because I've been making Toad sing UTAU form to one of his favourite movie themes, which happens to be Titanic's 'My Heart Will Go On'. And this is the perfect time to share that now. So enjoy.

~~**~~

My 'Eart Will Go On:



UST is from complete scratch. My very first. Crit is great, but this is my first time. I think I did okay-ish. It's smoother than some other UST I've used by seasoned UTAU makers. But that's what back to back hours slaving (with plenty of caffeine to fuel that) over envelops and pitch bends gets you.

Sorry for the thick accent. I tried to work around it but it peeks out highly in some spots. I had someone tell me that Toad is "A Brit Josh Groban" when they heard this. I'm inclined to agree. XD;; The voice (c) to him (Mortimer TOAD-y Toynbee). I only wish I owned his voice (and his 'eart).
Posted inCreativity, ‎A Day In The Life
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  1. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    Good you're being able to move on. This blog was a bit of a confusing read, but I do understand you in the fact that living far from people you love is hard. I was in a long distance relationship for a while, and now I am beginning another one that, at least fortunately, isn't as far as the first. I don't regret it, but it IS extremely difficult.
    Posted July 25th, 2012 at 09:19 AM by Kura Kura is offline
 

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