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You missed out on the good parts

Posted July 30th, 2012 at 12:16 AM by Forever

Or that is what has been implied at least in the last year. I wasn't around for when everyone was much tighter, or when people were meaner or whatever, but it's been around a year and I liked what was there. While it can be said that when I started the activity was actually low it picked up because it wasn't their choices. This time, it's really their choices. They have made those decisions and as a result nobody really bothers anymore. I've enjoyed the small part I've been involved in, even if it's only tiny compared to the entire history of it. I enjoyed caring I enjoyed even the bad parts because... I don't really know why. I just kinda did, and now it's gone and it's basically "do what you'd like without any dramas", it's... not really something I wanna do now. I've kinda lost interest because nobody else is. What's the point of it if it's just with randoms? If it doesn't really matter anymore? If nobody cares? If it's just... kinda sucky and you want to enjoy stuff but people keep/kept complaining and now of course you take that point of view without knowing how you really felt in the first place. In fact, I really wish I did. I really wish things happened earlier than they did, then maybe everything would be different. Seeing certain people just makes me sad now - not because of anything against them at all, but what they represented and what is kind of nothing more? I just hate the idea of nothing more, that maybe this really is the end, as people kept/keep trying to say. Can it all ever come back? I doubt it. I still feel kinda like I'm partially to blame, too. Not because I set out to destroy anything, but for the whole idea of "hmmm let's actually try enforcing things" and I just wonder if it's just because of the timing or whether the whole "for the better" thing is actually a bad thing and everything was better off sucky with at least people.

I dunno. It's difficult to think about because I'm afraid that I did in fact contribute to it, even unintentionally. I guess I just want the last year back, and at least some motivation to wanna have fun. :(

Not meant to be a direct blog or really anything rather than a rant, though some may be able to understand it. I don't really care. I just want everything back, and I hate seeing things just... dead.
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  1. Old Comment
    Oryx's Avatar
    I know this has nothing to do with what you're referring to but a lot of this applies to me and PC in general hahaha
    Posted July 30th, 2012 at 09:09 AM by Oryx Oryx is offline
 

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