Posted June 26th, 2009 at 10:44 PM byFeign Updated July 1st, 2009 at 11:50 AM byFeign
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Agent J: ok..this is way off topic but i just have to say something...matrixonlinelover...u totally ripped off Jay RV's avatar. thats not cool.
Feign: lets see...
Smart cop:*stutters* Mr. Smith I think there behind the walls
Smith: What do you know about walls, you puny human
Smart cop: Ummm nothing...
Smith: Good, now I'm going to punch the wall anyways...
*Morpheus realises whats happening and breaks through battling Smith*
Smith: Well well if it isn't Morph"Pretty in pink"eus
Morpheus: I find that pink suits me quite well
Neo: Smith is being distracted slide down...
Trinity: What about Morpheus??
Neo: No one cares now go...
*they leave Morpheus fighting, he is captured*
*the others run to a phone that is ringing*
Tank: Theres a shop near 123 fake street...
I guess I'll continue since its kinda dead...
Neo: Oh sorry wrong #*hangs up*
*Neo phones Tank again*
Neo: I guess there was a wrong # problem, so where is the phone?
Tank: At 123 fake street...*sighs*
*they arrive at the area...*Cypher 'transports' first**they wait for the next phone call*
Neo: Who wants some steak later??
Trininty: ??? Morpheus has just been captured and the agents are probably on our tail, and you're thinking about steak, even after you learned its not real??!!
Neo: thats my cell phone I stole...Hello??
Cypher: I don't like this place I want to go back...*blah blah blah*
Neo: Thats nice but whats in in for me?
Cypher: Were you not listening I was going to spare you cause you are not considered the
one, Trinity is going to become my slave, and did you not see Mouse and the others just fall to the ground before you??
Neo: Nope!! I'm blinded by my own self centeredness...
*Dozer kills Cypher*
Dozer: Ok guys the bad guys dead the phone should be ringing...
*Phone is silent*
Trinity and Neo at the same time: I think the phone is silent
Neo: Ha ha, that was a dey jav ew...
Trinity: Yes...yes it was...*knocks Neo unconcious and takes the ringing phone*
*Back on the Nebbecannezer...*(Its not my fault if I can't spell)
Well if you wanna add then you can in another post...lol
*candles are lit around Jacked in Morpheus*
Dozer: Goodnight Morhie...
Trinity: What is it Neo?
Neo: I must go save Morpheus...
Trinity: As the Oracle did not give good enough guidance, I'm doing the first thing that comes to my mind...
Trinity: Your crazy...
Neo: Does it turn you on?
Dozer: I can't hear you...let me just jack you both in
*they get jacked in and prepare to get all the basic necessities
Neo: Do I look better in blue or black...?
Trinity: I like red...
Neo: OK...*puts on black cleats...etc....
Neo: Now we need guns, lots of guns
*the wrong thing is being loaded*
Neo: I said Gunsszzz....not gum...
Dozer: Who said that?
*they go into the matrix and head for agent building central*
Secuirty guard: Please remove all metallic objects and proceed through...THE LASER OF DEATH...
*as he was speaking T and N go around...
Neo: What??*pulls out water pistol...*
S.G.: OMG!!!!!!*presses silent alarm*
*water is sprayed everywhere and S.G. melts*
S.G.: I'm melting...melting I tells yah...
N and T: WT@*^@ is he talking about???
*N and T pull out more water guns and start "firing" at the hordes of s.g that are coming out*
*music throughout, blood and squishy water sounds*
*neo does a back flip into trinity by accident
Neo: Sorry you look just like them...
Trinity: I'm wearing pink and they are wearing gray, are you color blind...
Neo: I just see shades of green and sometimes gold...I think I'm halluniating...
Trinity: That you are...
*they melt everyone and go in the elevator...
*elevator music**audomated voice*
A.V.:what is your destination?
Neo: Level 23
A.V.: going to level 7
Neo: No level 23
A.V.: going to level 2
Neo: ok...the agent level
A.V.: going to main floor
Trinity: Destination level 23
A.V.: GOing to level 23
Neo: Now should we blow the elevator...
Trinity: No that will just cause structural damage to da wittle matrix...
*N and T somehow get to the roof top...only to be spotted by one helicopter driver guy...*
HDG: Hey you, you're not supposed to be here...
Neo:I know where I am but where are you...?
HDG: I'm right here
*Agent materializes over HDG
Smith: Now I'm here....
*Smith shoots at the helicopter...it blows up*
SMith:*manical evil alughter* mwhahahhahaha...
Trinity: Au crap...
Smith: Crap is good...now I will start shooting you Mr. Anderson...
Neo: I know who I am but what are you...
Smith: Your twin sister...
*Smith begins shooting...*
I'll add more later if no one else does...
Killerbean: *First post [IMG]file:///C:/Users/Mathieu/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.gif[/IMG]*
Neo hides behind trinity * who doesnt get hit * ,
Neo *pulls out gun*
"bang " " bang"
Trinity : Pull the trigger dumbass!!!
Neo : Oh ya ..
Smith starts blurr-evading bullets.
Neo shoots out 28 bullets out of one desert eagle .
Smith : *Evil grin* ,, my turn
*Pulls out water pistols*
Neo : * starts blurring too *
Smith shoots Neos pants
Neo : Aww .man .. now im gonna look silly .. thanks alot ... *mumbels * bastard */mumbels*
Trinity pulls out a spoon * ill let u guess from where * .. (thats right ,.. jacket-pocket) & throws Spoon at Smith while shouting : Dodge this
Smith *grabs spoon* : HAH .. you suck ..
Neo : activates speed hack and aimbot and starts shooting smith
Smith falls of edge of building.
Trinity : Oh look .. another chopper .. right next to the one Smith blew up ... how convinient (*spelling*).
Neo : Do u know how to drive that thing
Trinity : No idea .. .come on lets go
Neo and Trinity hanging from the edge of the building* climbing up *
Neo : JESUS CHRIST ::. OPERATOR :. TEACH TRINITY TO DRIVE
Operator : Roger that
Trinity : Learns how to speak chinese
Ching - hoo -eee .. (english : Wrong program dumbass)
Operator : Sorry my bad , what happend to ur chopper
Neo : Trinity crashed it into the microsoft building
Operator : *Silently* huray 4 linux */silently*
Ah right . the program . *Loads up chopper program*
Trinity : But why do i need it now
Neo : Look another one!
Trinity : GM -s must be happy ..
*N & T Get into chopper*
*they fly around agent building*
Neo: I can't see where they could be...
Trininty: Well then Blow the whole building up
Neo: THen Morpheus would blow up with it
Trinity: Yah I know, wouldn't that be so cool??
Neo: Only in your dreams...
Trinity: I wish I remembered how to dream...
Neo:???Hey I see them stop here...now how do you operate this gun?
Trinity: THere should be a blue switch on the right left hand corner
*Neo Presses pink button under gun,the gun goes off automatically*
Neo: Au crap...
*Neo tries to aim gun at Agents, instead hitting innocent civillians that just happen to be in the building*
*kills agents, waits for Morpheus*
Morpeus: whats all this for, I am being treated like I can't fend for myself...I could have taken on those agents if they had'nt already cuffed and drigged me...
Neo: OK??? Geez....
*Morpeus runs to helicopter*
*he hits his head on the way in*
Morpheus: Where am I? Whats my name?
Neo:No time for philosphy please...?
Trinity: I think hes got amnesia, can I eat his flesh?
Neo: You can't got something, and maybe later for the flesh thing, I'm quite hungry myself...
Lucid: phone ringsneo: hello?
morpheous: do you know who this is?
neo: I thought I told you guys to put me on your 'do not call list!"
neo: listen, I told Ameritech I didn't want their monopolizing service anymore. So do you honestly think fed exing me a phone to try and talk me into going back to receive great rates on long distance will honestly work?
morpheous: This isn't ameritech.
neo: well who is it then?
morpheous: It is I, Morpheous. And I wanted to tell you about Zion, a new company that is leading the way in a new product that will free your mind and help reduce your cholesterol, while also giving you increased stamina and regrowing your hair called RED PILL.
neo: but I already have a full head of hair.
morpheous: but your stamina sucks. That girl you met at the bar last night, Trinity? She said you were terrible.
morpheous: but don't worry. RED PILL will help. Let me tell you about our program...
When you sign up for RED PILL you will be escorted by our luxury company car (complete withwith suicide doors) (cough)bygunpoint(cough) to our corporate office where we will strap you to a chair. Here you will given your FREE SAMPLE RED PILL. As the pill takes effect, you will start to relax, get really happy, feel a euphoric sensation all over your body. THis will be followed with mild hallucinations.
neo: that sounds alot like methylenedioxymethamphetamine!
morpheous: I know!
Next you will be wisked away to Casa Nebacanezzity, where you will enjoy the comforts of three 'continental' meals a day, and a big delapitated chair that allows us to prod your brain with a large metal stake.
neo: go on! I'm listening!
morpheous: RED PILL is going to change your life. It will lower your cholesterol, it will regrow your haid. It will keep off the pounds, and help increase your stamina!
neo: okay, stamina. how does it do that?
morpheous: The honor is mine to tell you, my friend. Our training simulations will walk you through step by step the proper does and don't of bedroom etiquette. You are going to learn the doggy style, the shau lin crane froggy style, the kung fu mctwist mercenary 360 clitasm style, the complete Please your Lover bible handbook, plus many many more.
neo: wow. that sounds like a good deal. But I have a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me what you know I want, big boy.
morpheous: I can only show you the door. You have to walk out of the closet. And anyway, I only get the finger from the woman in the red dress.
neo: damn it! well, this sounds like it will take forever to learn.
morpheous, naw... we just download it all into your brain.
neo: will you throw in the first season of south park?
morpheous: hey, am I captain of my ship, or am I captain of my ship? no problemo.
neo: what about Bill? Can he sign up for RED PILL too?
morpheous: You will have to talk to Roofus first.
Roofus: Be excellent to each other...and party on, dudes.
Bill and Neo: EXCELLENT!!! (plays air guitar).