:D! ...no, just :(. And :( is bad.
So, promotions today! Normally, I'm super excited. I'm usually bouncing off the walls and stuff. Because, omg, orange! Fresh meat! Happy faces all around!
Today, I look at the names and go "...meh."
It's not that they're bad choices. Not at all. Hell, I like Went. But... I just can't get excited at all. I can't squee about it. I can't be happy for them. I just... can't care.
I think it's a combination of things.
- The week. It's just been exhausted the past two days. I want nothing more to sleep for a good 10 hours right now, but I have a response to type again... I'm tired, and when I'm tired, I'm cranky and mood and ugh. I do a lot of stupid things when I'm running on little sleep.
- I'm still adjusting to not being staff. This means, you know, having jack for input. I know nothing. It's still hard, not knowing what's going on. Like, Audy posted twice, "I could tell you why you're good s-mods but you'll see in the HQ thread." When you've been on the staff for close to three years, do you know how hard it is, to be told you can't see anything? I want to yell at Audy right now, srsly D;
It's just so hard to be on the outside looking in after being on the other side for so long. Really, it's the thing I have to adjust to most.
- This break. It's a great instant relief, knowing that I have no responsibilities to PC other than to follow the rules. That I like. But the main reason I left was to calm down. It just isn't happening. There's been a few things that I've just been mad about. (One of them I feel terrible, becuase I might've been able to do something if I'd still been on staff!) This break just isn't working that well as I'd thought. It's only been a week and a half, so it really can't have changed me that much, can it?
Then again, me being upset about the staff ruined Audy's s-mod promotion for me, too.
- I would've preferred other mods as s-mods. Although really, I would've been outvoted anyway.
I just want to cry. Over PC. PC!
Here's hoping I'll get over myself over the weekend. Which will be Sunday, unless I get to bed early Friday night. I have to get up early to go grocery shopping. D: SIIIIIIIGH again.
I'm such a sad person.
EDIT: Yeah, I'm stupid. No right to complain when I put this on myself. I'm sorry to infect you like that, PC. But I can't grow if I'm not torn apart every once in awhile, either.
There's not enough *headdesk* in the world for tonight. That's what I get for opening that mouth again.
Posted October 9th, 2008 at 6:03 PM by Ausaudriel
Posted October 9th, 2008 at 6:21 PM by BeachBoy
Posted October 9th, 2008 at 6:31 PM by Sammi
Posted October 9th, 2008 at 6:34 PM by Morkula
Posted October 9th, 2008 at 6:42 PM by Sammi
Posted October 10th, 2008 at 4:48 AM by Signomi
Posted October 10th, 2008 at 6:14 AM by Cherrim