2012 brings new things to discover as well as uncertainty about the future. It also brings more of that 2012 doomsday BS that has been running rampant the past few years, despite common sense and scientists actually proving that the predicted Mayan doomsday will not happen! But that still doesn't stop idiots like Discovery Channel, History Channel, Patrick Geryl and other morons from continuing to shove their doomsday shows and books down our throats!
Since the world will end in 356 days from now (we are in a leap year, so we have the 29th of February), I've decided to have my own fun with this "phenomenon". Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about how the earth will suddenly reverse its magnetic fields or anything like that. I lack the intelligence to make sense of that stuff.
The reason for this title if I'm not going to talk about 2012? A certain 80's song that critics think is probably the worst song in history.
Stuff from Top Gear that I really DON'T want to try!
While Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May do a lot of amusing stuff on Top Gear, there are a lot of things they do that make me wonder why in the hell did they even think about doing that?!! Mostly, the Top gear offices have a hand in it, but they are usually the ones to go ahead and do it while The Stig just sits back and wonders what the hell are those guys doing?
So, here are a few things from Top Gear that I WOULD NOT DO! Not even if you paid me.
1. Chop a people carrier's top off, make it into a convertible and use a car wash, only to have it catch fire and burn down within minutes.
2. Have a race in the Southern United States and write offensive slogans on the cars (Hillary Clinton for President, NASCAR Sucks, It's great to be gay, etc.) in order for the Southerners to kill us.
3. In order to make a people carrier faster than a certain sports car, one presenter buys a not of unnecessary stuff for the van, namely a Formula One car's rear wing.
4. Have a journey through Botswana in a old rear-wheel drive car that has a lot of issues with it and end up breaking down in the big salt pans area where I'll most likely die.
5. Let James May do any of the driving in epic races. We'll most likely be 1000 miles from the finish in some god forsaken country because he has no sense of direction.
6. Try to make an electric car all by myself, pass it off as a legitimate car and have it reviewed by a serious car magazine, which says it's 100% crap.
7. Ride a motorcycle through Vietnam while having "Born in the USA" blaring from a radio.
8. Drive a all-terrain vehicle through parts of Bolivia that are known for drug activity and ambushes. Hell, just be in Bolivia is bad enough.
9. Annoy fellow car show hosts from Germany with references about World War II and act all high and mighty when we use The Stig instead of Captain Slow to beat the Germans in a sprint race.
10. Destroy a Morris Marina with a piano and have the Morris Marina Owners Club call for my head on a silver platter. Actually, I would do that just to piss them off.
Posted March 24th, 2010 at 8:30 PM by Dukey
Posted March 24th, 2010 at 10:11 PM by Mario The World Champion