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Help/Advice needed

Posted October 19th, 2010 at 12:04 PM by Eternal Nightmare

Ok the backstory...

It all started in 9th grade when I meet one of my best friends throughout highschool(yes this person was a girl). It started off when we were paired for a project for PE/Health over the dangers of Smoking and Drugs. I actually didn't contribute anything to the project because it was assigned on a Friday and due Monday back, so basically we couldn't communicate and although that she took the liberty of doing the whole project herself. I felt bad band she said that I shouldn't even get. Any credit for it but after begging she allowed me to present the project. After that I noticed she was in ALL my classes this semester and her artistic talent for drawing wolves and I started to befriend her. She then noticed I drew anime and we both bonded pretty quickly afterwards. Well years went by and I actually develop an infatuation for her and I told her this but she still treated me as a friend nothing more or less.

Now 11th grade is where this infatuation started expanding into something more and again I told her this and we still acted like friends untill on Easter that year I asked her out and she agreed. So like went out for at least 2 weeks or so and she was always talking about this one person and I became aware that she might have feelings more for that person for me. One day she became very sad and I asked what was wrong and she replied that this person again was upset and pissed off at her. Then it was also that time that I had told her that I was obvious of her feeling towards this person and asked her does she want to.break up with me. She was undecided but the next day I took the liberty of deciding it to protect pur relationship as friends. I obviously still lover her very much but it was for the best and we became even closer because of this.

12th grade my feeling were still there but I had to keep them under control for the best. She left that person and went out with this buff military dude they broke up and she went with this other person who we were all close friends with. I don't see how that happen considering they have nothing in common, that person is an idiot, and also very loud mouthed and rude but I wished her the best trying to ignore my feelings.

Ok I graduated earlier than anyone else in my class because of a move to another state and they are still together happy and lively and it made me happy to see her happy and I had to keep my love for her inside still. Now recently I just had a dream about her and I happy strolling along and I was really actually freaked out by it. Then my heart starting get those feelings again and I know what that been...I was even more in love with her after not being with her for so long. So its been about what 6 or so months since I last saw her and having moved back, got a job, etc I decided to visit her and some old friends at there college on my day of yesterday. I had a good time and I hung out with her more than anyone else that day...and she even told me about some of the difficulties in life she is going through right now. So I ask how is she and -insert her lovers name her- and she said they are on and off and it rreally makes her made they can't hang out as much and she even got a ring from that person. My heart sunk but I told her that's good in a monotone voice as we head out the building called the CCT. We chatted up a good conversation and took a nice new picture together and I was happy while doing it...but I realized my limits again.

After all that time away I really can say she is honestly the love of my life...someone I have been waiting for and now...even now...I want to tell her that but I know its best to hold my tongue right now. But I want to tell her so bad its killing me. I don't know what to do right now.

Short sweet and to the point...I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend/ ex girlfirned since highschool but she has a lover and seems happy while my heart sinks with jealousy. Idk how she views me as she was pretty excited about my visit yesterday even glomping me at that. What should I do someone please help me?????!!!!!
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Avey's Avatar
    i think maybe you should just tell me you love me and maybe then it will work out. maybe you should serenade me via an elton john song or something i'd like that.
    Posted October 19th, 2010 at 01:16 PM by Avey Avey is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Lilith's Avatar
    Heyy. :D

    I have -36% experience with love.

    I think that... If she cannot genuinely realize your deep affection towards her over the past 4+ years, then she is the one missing out, and you should move on. That sounds brutal, but unrequited love is especially toxic. You may become lovesick, heartbroken, and/or exhausted from chasing her as she is dating others. Don't strain yourself searching for love in forms it never takes.

    You said she seems happy, and preserving her happiness is important, perhaps at the expense of your own happiness. Cherish what you have for now. Friends are forever. Relatives are forever! But love and dating and marriage, let me tell you this funny story... :^)
    Posted October 19th, 2010 at 07:09 PM by Lilith Lilith is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Melody's Avatar
    I for one happen to agree with TB up there except for one small modification...

    I think you really ought to tell her how you feel. Be honest as you can, but try not to insult the guy she's with. If she's not willing to hear your feelings or return them then by all means, please get away. Unrequited love is toxic when it festers up over time...and if you really want to preserve that friendship for later, Yes I'm talking about 2-5 years down the road when you've found happiness or love elsewhere, then you have to get your space. Don't hang out with her unless you can't avoid it...but don't stop talking to her. If she asks why you're not interested in hanging out like the days of old...just be honest and tell her you're busy getting over her.
    Posted October 20th, 2010 at 07:04 AM by Melody Melody is offline
 

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