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Jehovah's witnesses

Posted February 4th, 2013 at 08:11 AM by droomph

I know you guys hate religious stuff, but bear with me I figured out a great way to get them to never come back.

The reason they come to your house and generally be an annoyance to everyone in the neighborhood is because they think that only 144,000 people will make it past the rapture and they need to be first in good deeds.

So first, point out that the 144,000 people are the leaders of the rest of us, and that they'll all be remotely Jewish (not too sure that's accurate though.)

Then secondly, point out that works alone are not enough, but that only by grace are we saved.

Furthermore, point out that Jesus is the only savior, and that he won't be reborn.

Lastly, look up all the Jehovah's witness people's houses in your area, and let them have a taste of thei own poison.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Livewire's Avatar
    Troll by telling them the rapture isn't in the bible.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 08:46 AM by Livewire Livewire is offline
  2. Old Comment
    shenanigans's Avatar
    Or, you know, ignore them.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 09:21 AM by shenanigans shenanigans is online now
  3. Old Comment
    Esper's Avatar
    Or come to the door wearing all black and tell them you're a Satanist.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 09:49 AM by Esper Esper is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Overlord Drakow's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Scarf View Comment
    Or come to the door wearing all black and tell them you're a Satanist.
    You rang?

    But seriously, Razor has the right idea.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 10:02 AM by Overlord Drakow Overlord Drakow is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    Tell them you'll trade a goat for their wife.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 10:44 AM by Kura Kura is offline
  6. Old Comment
    I've never had the pleasure of Jehovah's Witnesses. I think I'll admit all of these when I do.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 11:48 AM by Vintage Arachnid Vintage Arachnid is offline
  7. Old Comment
    droomph's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Razor Leaf View Comment
    Or, you know, ignore them.
    That doesn't work.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 03:41 PM by droomph droomph is offline
  8. Old Comment
    droomph's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Livewire View Comment
    Troll by telling them the rapture isn't in the bible.
    Pointing out their flaws is much more effective and factual.
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 03:43 PM by droomph droomph is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Fairy's Avatar
    My mom told me that when she was preggers, a Jehovah's Witness came to my house and asked for the placenta.

    I'm like 95% sure she was bsing me. :p
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 04:12 PM by Fairy Fairy is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Sydian's Avatar
    I've never had them come by here, either. If they did, I'd just tell them I'm Jewish.

    ps i'm not jewish

    pss maybe
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 05:29 PM by Sydian Sydian is offline
  11. Old Comment
    droomph's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sydian View Comment
    I've never had them come by here, either. If they did, I'd just tell them I'm Jewish.

    ps i'm not jewish

    pss maybe
    They don't give up because they're like the pushy salesman on commission for salvation.

    They'll try to save your ass, and there's nothing you can do about it lol

    (trust me my family's been there)
    Posted February 4th, 2013 at 11:35 PM by droomph droomph is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Forever's Avatar
    i hope you don't feel the same way about mormons.

    that's all i have to say on this.
    Posted February 5th, 2013 at 12:39 AM by Forever Forever is offline
  13. Old Comment
    droomph's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Forever View Comment
    i hope you don't feel the same way about mormons.

    that's all i have to say on this.
    not if they're normal and they don't come hunting you down
    Posted February 5th, 2013 at 01:14 AM by droomph droomph is offline
 

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