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Welcome to my blog! I'm still in the process of re-doing it's theme (after not touching it in two years), but hopefully the result isn't horrible or anything. In any case, I'm not going to promise you that what you'll be reading would be entertaining all the time, but I'll do my best! I also don't blog that often becuase I don't really find many things to blog about in my life (it's kinda boring mind you, yeah, nothing really goes on much), but in any case, do check in here whenever I've made an entry, and if you don't mind, leave a comment in here if you'd like. ^^; That'd be awesome.
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**** depression

Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 04:31 PM by flight
Updated September 22nd, 2013 at 04:38 PM by flight

that is all.

It's such an unfortunate thing when you're in a point in your life where you want to be somewhere and yet you just....you feel stuck, like you can't move.

I'm trying to find another job. hasn't worked out so well. I never thought it would've taken me this long, but my confidence has dipped because of the one word that's going to almost guarantee me in not getting jack ****

ah, yes, the glorious references.

im not going to dance around this, so i might as well say it outright: i have no references. I'm hesitant in saying that I have no /friends/, because I have 2 best friends IRL, but they're both super busy and I don't want to bother them with anything. What sucks more is that the work references I have are busy as well and it's just...I feel like **** because I'm in a corner, basically. I don't know who to contact or who to trust, anything like that. And knowing how so many goddamn jobs require those ****ing 3 people, it makes my confidence dip so much. even entry-level jobs are starting to become so irritating to look for.

I apologize if I come across crankier or sadder than usual, guys. might as well explain myself now. I just..don't feel myself anymore.

My sister handed me the newspaper. It said something about having a job fair on the 24th.

The whole word came crashing on me. not in a good way. i went off and just felt like crying (but the tears wouldnt come out, of course). i have no actual reliable transporation to get to that place. This wouldnt' be so much of a problem since all I would have to do is wake up super early and take the bus, but the fact remains that I also have an abercrombie and fitch group interview on the 24th also.

great ****ing job, derk.

just great job.

I just...feel like I could do so much more. I want to go to school, I want to do something with my life, but I feel that there are barricades all around me. Why I haven't lost my own sanity yet, I don't even know. I'm surprised by my own brick wall of patience at this point, but it is clearly taking it's toll because now my motivation for doing anything is rapidly approaching zero. I get tired easily. I get exhausted more easily. And I just...lose the complete will to do anything.

just needed this to rant, is all.
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  1. Old Comment
    Kanzler's Avatar
    go derk go! hey, you're sexy enough to get an interview at abercrombie and fitch eh? dun worry, you get (or around) those references soon enough!
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 05:51 PM by Kanzler Kanzler is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Echidna's Avatar
    This entire blog.
    - A Novel By Me
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 06:00 PM by Echidna Echidna is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Honest's Avatar
    I've only just started the whole job app process, and I can already tell how much of a ***** references are gonna be. Derk, why not ask your two friends if it'll be okay to use them? You should at least ask. :C
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 07:35 PM by Honest Honest is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Axeliira's Avatar
    Originally Posted by PEDRO12 View Comment
    This entire blog.
    - A Novel By Me
    echoing what he said. especially since I'm trying to pay for school. >:(

    But I have faith in you derky <3 I know you can ace that interview :D
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 09:09 PM by Axeliira Axeliira is offline
  5. Old Comment
    I had the hardest times with references. I used a former employer (Who thought I was fired unfairly) and a family friend of ours. You might just find references in the most unexpected places! Volunteered anywhere? Ask them if you can use them! Are you an active member of any organizations? Ask them!

    I have faith in you! (And best of luck at your Abercrombie and Fitch interview too!)
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 10:14 PM by Team Fail Team Fail is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Castform's Avatar
    Derk you are one of the smartest people that I know but you have no confidence in yourself at all. You can do this and I know that you will!
    Posted September 22nd, 2013 at 11:38 PM by Castform Castform is offline
  7. Old Comment
    derozio's Avatar
    Yeah. Believe in yourself more, man. You're more than capable of doing whatever they desire of you. I believe in you.
    Posted September 23rd, 2013 at 01:28 AM by derozio derozio is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    What does being busy have to do with references? Just ask, it doesn't hurt. If they say no then ask someone else. You dont need to actually DO anything to be a reference as references are actually hardly contacted and more there for PR stuff.
    If you don't try you never know. Why not even use your sister as a reference?
    Where is the job fair vs the A and F interview? The job fair should be lasting a while so you could always do the interview first and then swing by the job fair.

    Also you could always try ODesk. It's a site where the site owners pay you and it's like commission stuff (stuff for graphics, photoshop, etc.) Even simple stuff. Or sometimes it's word docs or updating someone's twitter feed for them. Great way to make some money while you're waiting.. I had a few friends use it while in Uni.

    Chin up and keep fighting.
    Posted September 23rd, 2013 at 11:29 AM by Kura Kura is offline

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