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  1. Old Comment
    Kanzler's Avatar

    i am struggling as an adult

    Why not ask around your friends for opportunities or get a better idea of what they do? They don't have to have any actual job opportunities available, it's that the talks might give you some insight into a possible goal. Also, you could consider not requiring your goals to be well-defined. Seconding Azazel here, that way you could gain some motivation towards a certain direction, even if you don't know where you'll end up, instead of having no motivation at all. It'll require leaps of faith, but taking risks might be better than not taking risks. I think it's very difficult to only act on things that are well-settled, because things rarely are so settled in life.

    I think most people do something that is not entirely relevant to what they started out learning. Even my dad, who's an engineer (which is a field where I imagine pretty much everything you learn would be relevant to whatever you end up doing) switched his specialization as he progressed, to the point that what he was doing had, in his words, very little to do with what he studied in undergrad. The point is that most people I know end up switching gears during their education, and I think it's pretty normal.

    This is all assuming that funding for college is relatively accessible. If it isn't, I understand why you'd want to exercise more caution. I think it'll be worthwhile to ask around family and friends for possible jobs or career ideas, possibly something that can get you work straight out of school (or even co-op or something manageable part-time so you can work as you learn). Nevertheless, I emphasize college because as you've noticed yourself, your options are limited without a degree and you don't seem to be enjoying what's available to you at the moment.

    In the short-term, maybe you could pick up some volunteering position? I imagine they're a lot more accessible to cold-calling than finding a job, and if the alternative is doing nothing, you don't have anything to lose. It's an opportunity to connect with people and find out what they do as well as to consider what you want to do for the long term. Even if that's not guaranteed, you could probably find out a calm and low-stress activity. I've been considering volunteering for a cat shelter at a pet shop myself.

    Going back to the college thing, you might consider starting an application but holding on to submitting it until you're sure that's what you want to do. It's important to keep your options open, and the worst thing is to be exploring things you want to do, deciding on a possible path, and then realizing that the deadline is too soon or already passed. Plus it'll get you to do the motions of career searching and can help you get in the groove (which is difficult for me, personally, as well).

    I think it'll be good to keep yourself moving and preventing yourself from dwelling on things. There's plenty of things you still can do, even if they're not something you especially want to do and you don't know what you want to do. Sometimes you have to fake it to make it, because the alternative is much worse. As for the money issue, is that something you can communicate to your mom about? Buying groceries helps, but maybe she knows a thing or two about getting you out of your current situation. That or any friends you trust to bounce some ideas off of them. I find that talking things through helps me understand things better and figure out new ideas, maybe it'll work for you too.
    Posted September 10th, 2015 at 3:01 PM by Kanzler Kanzler is offline
    Updated September 10th, 2015 at 3:08 PM by Kanzler
  2. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    i am struggling as an adult

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Azazel View Comment
    You can do it, Anna! I have the same social and motivational issues, but I've been pushing through. I only need a few more credits to graduate college now. You just need to find what interests you. But at the very least you should start on general education, plenty of college students don't know what they want to do. It'll come, you just need to make yourself do it. I know you can!
    thanks but the entire issue is that i need to have a goal before i even attempt anything otherwise i'll either fail completely or waste time and money doing classes that i hate that will probably not even be relevant to the field of study i decide on
    Posted September 8th, 2015 at 1:12 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Necrum's Avatar

    i am struggling as an adult

    You can do it, Anna! I have the same social and motivational issues, but I've been pushing through. I only need a few more credits to graduate college now. You just need to find what interests you. But at the very least you should start on general education, plenty of college students don't know what they want to do. It'll come, you just need to make yourself do it. I know you can!
    Posted September 8th, 2015 at 12:28 PM by Necrum Necrum is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    i am struggling as an adult

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kanzler View Comment
    What are your long term plans? Maybe in all this off-time in the absence of a job you could spend more time researching how to get to your long term goals and plan more intensively. Also driving. I remember you talking about having difficulties driving in the past, but maybe it'll work out better if you take it just slowly enough. Like 105% of what you think you're capable of, and take adequate time to rest and recover.

    I think now would be a good time to begin college applications, at least for entry fall semester next year. Dates and things might be different where you live, but in the absence of a job, you have time to take this nice and slow.
    I have zero direction. I have no skills or talents, nothing that holds my interest long enough to make a career out of, and no ability to learn. There's no point in applying to colleges when I'm just going to fail and waste so much money. I also don't have access to a car to even begin to practise driving again.

    Quote:
    I don't think cold "leads" for jobs work well for anyone, unfortunately. Is there anyone in your family or friends who might know someone and could put a word in for you? Most people I know have their jobs through some kind of connection, through friends, co-workers, colleagues from co-op. With that being said, you'll probably still get a call back sooner or later, but I don't think your expectations should be too high for responding "cold" to job adverts unless your interests and qualifications are literally perfect for the job.
    All of my friends either have degrees or are in college. My mother only knows people in high-end customer service and retail. I have no connections of any sort. And I need a job. I have till the end of the month, else I'm not going to be able to live anymore.

    Quote:
    As for stress-eating, have you ever considered counting calories? It's quite time-consuming to record and measure everything you eat, but if you like doing repetitive stuff like that (like me :D) it becomes addictive within a while.
    The only way I can not stress-eat is to have nothing to eat at all. That'll happen soon anyway. But then my body decides it's starving, which I suppose it is, and compulsively packs on anything I do get.

    there is no hope im sorry
    Posted September 8th, 2015 at 5:43 AM by Anna Anna is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Kanzler's Avatar

    i am struggling as an adult

    What are your long term plans? Maybe in all this off-time in the absence of a job you could spend more time researching how to get to your long term goals and plan more intensively. Also driving. I remember you talking about having difficulties driving in the past, but maybe it'll work out better if you take it just slowly enough. Like 105% of what you think you're capable of, and take adequate time to rest and recover.

    I think now would be a good time to begin college applications, at least for entry fall semester next year. Dates and things might be different where you live, but in the absence of a job, you have time to take this nice and slow.

    I don't think cold "leads" for jobs work well for anyone, unfortunately. Is there anyone in your family or friends who might know someone and could put a word in for you? Most people I know have their jobs through some kind of connection, through friends, co-workers, colleagues from co-op. With that being said, you'll probably still get a call back sooner or later, but I don't think your expectations should be too high for responding "cold" to job adverts unless your interests and qualifications are literally perfect for the job.

    As for stress-eating, have you ever considered counting calories? It's quite time-consuming to record and measure everything you eat, but if you like doing repetitive stuff like that (like me :D) it becomes addictive within a while.
    Posted September 7th, 2015 at 7:03 AM by Kanzler Kanzler is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar

    eleven years

    Happy PC-versary! :3
    Posted July 14th, 2015 at 12:05 AM by Kura Kura is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Mana's Avatar

    eleven years

    commitment o:
    Posted July 13th, 2015 at 11:05 AM by Mana Mana is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Aquacorde View Comment
    I mean? Iit's not that she was a nasty person just to me. She was rude to all of us. And Ian and I have been friends long before she was ever around? He is extremely loyal and dedicated to whoever he is with and all of his relationships not just romantic. So it's like... she should have trusted him and not tried to destroy the bffs relationship he and I had. Thats some nasty muk. She also could have tried to get along with literally any if his friends but she didnt. The problem was way beyond just her being mysteriously insecure about him being friends with me.

    Like I said Kura, i didnt give a psyduck about beinng her friend. I cared about her destroying the relationship I had with my best friend, and her pulling him away from his other friends. Because I care about him in any capacity and that is not good in a relationship.
    That's fair enough, I'm just saying that there's two sides to every penny and I don't think you've actually considered her side. You're fine to disagree but when you say "well I dunno why she feels that way!?" I'm telling you that when I see her perspective, I actually see legitimate reasons. Even if they are reasons sparked by her own insecurities. You have a history of being a very trusting person and giving people the benefit of the doubt, but not everyone is like that and a lot of people rightfully hold onto skepticism, especially if they've been hurt in the past.
    I don't know if you've ever confronted her and actually told her that you thought her actions were rude, but perhaps in her eyes, she was acting normally. If you did tell her, then it's great that you were vocal about it- and I believe that you would be vocal about it in a mature way (as that's the vibe I get from you.) But even still, she might have not thought that that was the case either.
    I don't think "that's some nasty muk" at all. Some people want more attention from their partners in a relationship and want to be their partner's world. If that's what she wants in her relationship- whether YOU think it's healthy or not doesn't matter. It's for her and her current boyfriend to decide. And it was something that, at the time, Ian would've needed to make a personal decision about. If your now-boyfriend didn't feel like he could give that to her, then it wasn't meant to be. I realize I don't know the full situation, but perhaps you should also consider that you might be a bit biased because you don't see eye to eye with her and made assumptions based on her behaviour. I'm also not saying you are completely wrong- she could've indeed done some nasty deliberate stuff.. I'm just saying that I do see her point of view with how you've described it. To be fair, she probably doesnt even need a mention now, since she seems to be completely removed from your current life.
    Posted June 17th, 2015 at 2:55 PM by Kura Kura is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    they my bros they know whats going on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Posted June 15th, 2015 at 5:35 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Ayselipera's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    am I the only one kind of weirded out because their pictures were posted...
    Posted June 15th, 2015 at 1:46 PM by Ayselipera Ayselipera is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    I mean? Iit's not that she was a nasty person just to me. She was rude to all of us. And Ian and I have been friends long before she was ever around? He is extremely loyal and dedicated to whoever he is with and all of his relationships not just romantic. So it's like... she should have trusted him and not tried to destroy the bffs relationship he and I had. Thats some nasty muk. She also could have tried to get along with literally any if his friends but she didnt. The problem was way beyond just her being mysteriously insecure about him being friends with me.

    Like I said Kura, i didnt give a psyduck about beinng her friend. I cared about her destroying the relationship I had with my best friend, and her pulling him away from his other friends. Because I care about him in any capacity and that is not good in a relationship.
    Posted June 14th, 2015 at 7:58 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    So? She doesn't sound like a nasty person. She just didn't like you. What's the big deal? If she doesn't like you and she felt uncomfortable when you were mentioned, I don't see why that's necessarily a problem. Maybe it was her own insecurity over the situation, but she's still not obligated to be your friend. She's moved on anyway so I guess there's not even any point dwelling on it. However, even if there "wasn't anything going on" at the time, she may have been receptive to subconscious vibes. I still don't blame her for her thoughts or actions seeing as you were his ex after all.
    Posted June 14th, 2015 at 3:08 PM by Kura Kura is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Kanzler's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    I think insecurity can hit anybody no matter how accomplished they are. In fact, perhaps the fact that Ian takes an interest in you despite you not being super educated (compared to her apparently) as well as speaking five languages is what freaked her out. Like from her perspective: what is her (your) secret sauce, right?
    Posted June 14th, 2015 at 7:41 AM by Kanzler Kanzler is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    But like. There was nothing while they were together? I was crushing on or with Caleb that whole time. And it wasn't just me that she never made an effort with- she didn't try with any of the home crew. She was perfectly fine with me when we first met and then just decided like three months later that she hated me or something. He never chose me over her and always put her first above anyone and she still? Didn't see that? idfk. Like I said I never cared if she liked me or not; I would have been perfectly content to ignore her existence like she tried to ignore mine. But she went out of her way to make a problem?

    As for parents they never really approved of us together? His mom blames me for a few of his lower grades in senior year and while they like me, I'm not exactly worth anything. They think their son could do better, probably. Sonja was you know, educated and spoke like five languages and was better than me in every way. Which is another reason why it's a mystery why she would feel at all insecure in their relationship. :/ And the fact that we're living together and sharing a room and obviously doin' the do is probs not going to sit well with them.

    My life is psyduckin weird and I don't know how it happened ahaha. Thank you :3
    Posted June 13th, 2015 at 6:03 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar

    Anna Life: Relationships

    Dude, I honestly don't blame Sonja's attitude at all. She's not stupid and she knows there was something going on between the both of you even when there "physically" wasn't. I would feel the same way if I were her and I'm actually glad for her that she's out of that whole ordeal now. And honestly? She's not obligated to like you, and she obviously was uncomfortable with your relationship with him and for good reason- you guys ended up together. So yeah, there was something underlying there and I'd feel the same way if I were her.
    Sounds like a soap opera lol.. but I don't know why his parents would flip out if you're a nice girl and he's happy, though. Seems unnecessary to have that reaction unless the reaction is due to you guys hiding it from them..

    This whole thing sounds unneedingly complicated, but like I said, as long as you're happy and it works then I wish you guys all the best!!
    Posted June 13th, 2015 at 3:10 PM by Kura Kura is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    Anna Life: Cast Index

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kura View Comment
    You're looking good!
    Holycrap though I wouldn't be able to handle your household. I like my space and peace and quiet. I think you guys would drive me insane, haha! I'm glad you're having fun though :3 it's nice to see and hear!
    Thank you! :D

    Yeah, there are times when I just have to shut myself away or chill at my mom's for a while but for the most part we all have adapted to chaos and are settling in pretty well~
    Posted June 13th, 2015 at 12:02 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar

    Anna Life: Cast Index

    You're looking good!
    Holycrap though I wouldn't be able to handle your household. I like my space and peace and quiet. I think you guys would drive me insane, haha! I'm glad you're having fun though :3 it's nice to see and hear!
    Posted June 12th, 2015 at 1:38 PM by Kura Kura is offline
  18. Old Comment
    Anna's Avatar

    Anna Life: Quick Overview

    austin bb hiiii i love youu
    Posted June 11th, 2015 at 1:46 PM by Anna Anna is offline
  19. Old Comment
    Austin's Avatar

    Anna Life: Quick Overview

    so so so busy ;__;

    But I'm glad you're back anna, we all missed you!
    Posted June 11th, 2015 at 12:35 PM by Austin Austin is offline
  20. Old Comment
    Posted June 11th, 2015 at 9:37 AM by Anna Anna is offline

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