Current Wishlist.

I have a long wishlist.

It's pretty long...

I'd normally write this down in my diary or tell it to my stuffed animals. Like Milky Crystal. I talk to him because I feel like no one loves me and that I'm all alone in this world... okay?

So my long wishlist:

• I want to learn how to love myself.
• I want to be able to feel like a real person
• I don't want to be a suicidal teen anymore.
• I want to be happy I was born. (I'm not happy I was born.)
• In general, I just want to be happy.

Also, I want some things for Hanukkah, but wanting anything is selfish of me.

What I want for Hanukkah:

Games -

3DS Games
Tales of the Abyss
Gates to Infinity
Pokemon Y
Rune Factory 4.

DS Games
Legacy YS
Run Factory 3
Ragnarok the Game
Princess Debut (Mahou Shojo game.)


And to be actually happy.

So selfish. I'm so selfish.

I've tried talking to my school psychologist about how I wish I were dead, but I keep it to myself. This is why I keep a diary, too.

**** no, that's not selfish. No ****ing way! It is all pretty normal, palamon. And it is every human being's desire to be happy. Everyone craves it.

I really, really wish you...didn't think of suicide and sad things. I really feel sad when I hear you say things like that in your blogs. You should really talk to your psychologist, though, instead of keeping quiet about it. What you're doing is not productive. It will only do harm and no good. Please take care of yourself, okay? And please don't feel that no one loves you. Every single human being, no matter who, has at least one person who truly loves them. You probably just haven't encountered them yet, perhaps? Give life a better chance, I'm sure you'll have someone like that really soon.

she is trying i dont even know how but i understand how you feel well be happy i dont know why but these tipe of storys are so amazing ill be there for you allways there

I've tried talking to my school psychologist about how I wish I were dead, but I keep it to myself.

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I think if you tell them about it and you want ways to try and feel better, they will help give you advice on how to change your thinking. Sometimes it's not about wanting to be dead necessarily, but wanting something different- like to not have to feel the pain of lonliness anymore. They can help so give them a chance instead of worrying about keeping it to yourself.