Palamon
Silence is Purple
- 8,141
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 27
- Snezhnaya, Teyvat.
- Seen today
Unrelated things first.
A.) Yes. Mikoto Ackerman. My daughter Misaksa decided to cosplay as an SNK character. If you must know, Toaru franchise is my favorite thing next to Kagerou Project! But since Railgun is a taken username... (Not like I'd use it as a username anyway. I don't think it sounds like me to have "gun" in my name. And I don't know what a Railgun is.)
B.) I was up until 3:30 last night Toonamiing and talking to someone on Skype. I'm tired, despite getting a good sleep last night. Strange.
C.) I'm so lazy and don't feel like touching the play button for Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches.
Now for the related. What this entry is about. Since, it's clear I'm still here and keep checking in for some reason. I have been posting. Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm doing it because I want to be noticed. Oh boy, two full pages of posts from the last three months! Ahem...off topic.... what was I trying to say?
Right.
Okay. But, I've been pretty bad lately. Yeah, that's not something I know people want to hear. =\ But it's true. What do I mean by "bad" (since that's not a very positive connotation, right?) I've been saying this for awhile now, but not to many people, but I've been feeling different lately. It's like I'm not actually here, but someone else is in my place inside my body. I've felt like this lately. I don't know what other way to word it, but I've been just feeling extremely different; like I'm not myself.
And mood swings have been ranging from depressive/paranoid/neutral lately. I've had some highs, but I've mostly been drowning in depressing feelings. Probably from identity issues and stress, though, maybe both. I'll be fixed sooner or later. It'll just take time.
I've been neutral since yesterday, but a couple of days ago, I was depressive. That was a two day mood swing, yeah, bad. I couldn't figure out how to get out of it, but I was able to. My depressive swings are beginning to last longer now. My paranoid ones are coming out, too. I don't know what's going on inside my head, so I just try my best to ignore it.
But, let me just say that I try not to let this stuff annoy me or get me completely worn out. I guess I've just been overwhelmed.
What else? I'm slowly figuring out the "am I really a girl?" issues. I've slowly decided. I feel genderless.
"Genderless?"
Mhm. Genderless. I can both girly and guyish or neither, and I don't really feel like I'm actually a girl. Physically, I am, but, tbh, I've kind of decided I consider myself genderless. I mean, just because I have the body parts of a female, that doesn't mean I'm female.
I'm still figuring this out, so until I announce I'm sure, still call me "she."
But yeah, I'm starting to figure it all out. Good.
I'm, uh, done now.
A.) Yes. Mikoto Ackerman. My daughter Misaksa decided to cosplay as an SNK character. If you must know, Toaru franchise is my favorite thing next to Kagerou Project! But since Railgun is a taken username... (Not like I'd use it as a username anyway. I don't think it sounds like me to have "gun" in my name. And I don't know what a Railgun is.)
B.) I was up until 3:30 last night Toonamiing and talking to someone on Skype. I'm tired, despite getting a good sleep last night. Strange.
C.) I'm so lazy and don't feel like touching the play button for Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches.
Now for the related. What this entry is about. Since, it's clear I'm still here and keep checking in for some reason. I have been posting. Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm doing it because I want to be noticed. Oh boy, two full pages of posts from the last three months! Ahem...off topic.... what was I trying to say?
Right.
Okay. But, I've been pretty bad lately. Yeah, that's not something I know people want to hear. =\ But it's true. What do I mean by "bad" (since that's not a very positive connotation, right?) I've been saying this for awhile now, but not to many people, but I've been feeling different lately. It's like I'm not actually here, but someone else is in my place inside my body. I've felt like this lately. I don't know what other way to word it, but I've been just feeling extremely different; like I'm not myself.
And mood swings have been ranging from depressive/paranoid/neutral lately. I've had some highs, but I've mostly been drowning in depressing feelings. Probably from identity issues and stress, though, maybe both. I'll be fixed sooner or later. It'll just take time.
I've been neutral since yesterday, but a couple of days ago, I was depressive. That was a two day mood swing, yeah, bad. I couldn't figure out how to get out of it, but I was able to. My depressive swings are beginning to last longer now. My paranoid ones are coming out, too. I don't know what's going on inside my head, so I just try my best to ignore it.
But, let me just say that I try not to let this stuff annoy me or get me completely worn out. I guess I've just been overwhelmed.
What else? I'm slowly figuring out the "am I really a girl?" issues. I've slowly decided. I feel genderless.
"Genderless?"
Mhm. Genderless. I can both girly and guyish or neither, and I don't really feel like I'm actually a girl. Physically, I am, but, tbh, I've kind of decided I consider myself genderless. I mean, just because I have the body parts of a female, that doesn't mean I'm female.
I'm still figuring this out, so until I announce I'm sure, still call me "she."
But yeah, I'm starting to figure it all out. Good.
I'm, uh, done now.
