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I don't know how to deal with this

derozio

[b][color=red][font=helvetica][i]door-kun best boi
5,521
Posts
14
Years
I'll keep it short and simple - I met a girl today who seemed highly compatible with me. And I felt that we could become good friends and our relationship can evolve into something even more than that over time - you can't usually judge things like these on the very first meeting but the girl just gave out those vibes. But then something happened and all hopes suddenly vanished into thin air. Disappeared. And I'm sitting over here almost about to cry.

tl;dr part:
To be a little more specific, there's this girl my friend was planning to introduce me to. We'd talk about her sometimes because my friend used to say the girl is into stuff that I am as well. He used to say that he didn't feel anything for her but was mildly interested in her. So I've been excited to meet her for a while now. And today I actually ran into them both and he introduced me to her and we talked quite a bit before she and my friend had to run to attend a class. Well, I was happy. I finally met some girl with similar interests as my own and someone who seems almost perfect for me. I was really happy.

But then in the evening my friend calls me and tells me to come to his room. And I'm like "yay, maybe she talked about me or something! This'll be fun". What do I actually get? Friend talking about how he spent three hours just wandering around talking with the girl in question and, just not in name, being on a date. And he's telling me stuff like how he mildly liked her but now that the girl seems like she's actually interested in my friend, he feels like he should go for it as well. And I'm happy about it. Because my friend recently came out from a phase where he'd literally cry and become depressed about things suddenly. And it was due to a girl. Getting into a relationship with her would probably give him the support he needs. And the girl who seems to be interested in my friend would be happy as well I presume - since my friend is a really nice guy. A total bro. I was happy about it.

But, well, there's also the fact that its like I was shown a teaser to a game that I've been waiting to play for years and then told the very next moment that you'd never get to play it. It is kind of disappointing. I mean, it is very selfish of me to actually think about things not working out between them and the opposite between me and her - especially since in the former case both the parties are into each other. But..I..ugh, I don't know how to express it properly. I mean, I would want to talk to her and become friends and stuff. But I don't know if I'll be able to act "normally" around them if they get into a relationship. I'll feel jealous I think. I don't know. I love the guy - he's literally my best friend over here. And, like I said, I'm happy about him finally moving-the-****-on. But the disappointment and a feeling of helplessness I feel right now is something I simply cannot deny. It is just one of those moments where you feel that life isn't always simple - you do have to deal with complex situations that involve you feeling very...well, conflicted. You don't know what to do. You can't deal with the situation. You just can't.

I'm hoping I manage to watch some anime or play some game to get my mind off this thing. Or maybe just sleep. I don't know. I just want to forget about it all.
 

BeachBoy

S P A R K of madness
8,401
Posts
16
Years
Sleep is the most brilliant idea. Rest and repair.

Potential relationships, and the anticipated excitement and wonder that can come from them, can be some of the greatest disappointments. I tend to read some books about life whenever I was struck down by a gal (Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture" comes to mind).

You never know what's coming for ya, champ. That's cliche, but it's true. Focus on you (I wouldn't just try to avoid it). Writing this was a great step.

There's this highway to life, and people will turn on your road or take the next exit constantly. What matters is how you respond, how you learn to cope. You can feel helpless and sad and frustrated, that's another part of you with applicable strengths in its own right. Use it.

All the best, derozio.
 

countryemo

Kicking against the earth!
2,367
Posts
14
Years
That really sucks man... I do really hope it works out for you and your friendship.

Though I do have to recommend you to tell her you have interest in her. If you never use your chance, it could haunt you for years if not life. But do not try to tear them apart, as much as you may want too. :(
 

antemortem

rest after tomorrow
7,481
Posts
12
Years
This is going to be a true test of your friendship because you're going to want to be incredibly upset at your friend for doing what feels like taking away this opportunity from you. You're probably gonna want to hate him for awhile, and that's okay. But if you care about your relationship with him, don't let it stunt growth between you two.

This is a girl that you talked to for just awhile, and I understand it was an amazing experience for you. You actually probably won't comprehend how happy I am for you that you met someone like that, regardless of the circumstance. But if you care about your friendship, you won't let it come between you. In fact when you've cooled down you might even talk to him about it so at least he KNOWS how you feel so it's not pent up anger and jealousy. That's not healthy for anyone.

love you derodero.
 

derozio

[b][color=red][font=helvetica][i]door-kun best boi
5,521
Posts
14
Years
Actually no. I've already done that, haha. I wouldn't ever feel anger for him. Nor hate him. There's nothing that he's done which would make me feel like blaming him. As a result, I've already told him that I was feeling this way about the situation. I am sitting inside his room right now and I made him read this blog entry a while ago. He probably interpreted it incorrectly to be frank. But there's nothing to worry, we've already made plans to have our 2-4 AM extremely late night chats and make everything clear haha.

As for the situation itself, writing about it helped me out quite a bit surprisingly! I just don't feel as...well, disappointed anymore. I feel really good. I mean, I don't know, I just can't let things go sour between me, my friend and that girl just over something that "may" make me feel jealous/upset/youknowhwatImean in the future. I can't really be sure unless I just go ahead and see what happens for myself. And I'll do exactly that. I'll see how things turn out and face the situations as they come. But one thing is certain, I won't ever despise my friend or let anything turn our friendship sour. Because I treasure it. Quite a lot.

What about her? Well, when I meet her and talk to her a bit I'll let her know about this situation as well. But I definitely don't ever plan to come between her and my friend if that's how it turns out. My friend is a total sweetheart and losing him is the last thing I'd want. So yeah. Fate, if it exists, will decide what happens and I'm ready to accept things.
 
3,315
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10
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  • Seen Jan 1, 2023
Okay so not trying to be insensitive but like you just met this girl. Even if she has a few interests and seems wonderful you haven't had any substantial time to actually know if it would work out. I can understand that it was exciting but it just seems like you think it would be a 100% sure thing if your friend never told you his feelings for the girl. Just be you and become friends with her first. Ultimately she'll pick who she wants if she wants either of you. All is fair in love and war
 

derozio

[b][color=red][font=helvetica][i]door-kun best boi
5,521
Posts
14
Years
I know, I'm aware of how ridiculous it sounds. I mean, I just met her lol. But that's definitely my plan. Just meeting up with her, being friends and letting things go with the flow.

Writing actually helped me clear my mind somehow. Idk sorry if I'm incomprehensible its 3 am lol so im tired XD
 

BeachBoy

S P A R K of madness
8,401
Posts
16
Years
Hey, it's not that ridiculous. People and love can cause the craziest of circumstances. What would be ridiculous is if you were never able to move forward.
 

derozio

[b][color=red][font=helvetica][i]door-kun best boi
5,521
Posts
14
Years
Ahaha, yeah, I guess you're right. But I've sorted this thing out. Talked to my friend about everything. And its cool between us. I even made him read this blog entry. And yesterday - me, my friend and that girl (+two other girls but that's beside the point) even had a normal talk.

I mean, in retrospect, this seems like a very temporary thing. I was extremely disappointed and frustrated back then. But after actually thinking about it, writing about it and talking to my friend for a while, I felt very free. Idk, maybe I just needed to scream my heart out somewhere haha.

But thanks people. I really appreciate your support. You all are the best. <3
 
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