- 112
- Posts
- 12
- Years
- Age 33
- England
- Seen Mar 7, 2012
This may be the first mass Pokemon eulogy on the entire site. Or perhaps not. But I have to say "goodbye" somewhere, so I can let it go.
On the 7th of October, I'd been back in university for my final year, and... although this had never really happened before in years 1 and 2... my future prospects seemed especially grim and I felt unable to cope. My mum came to see me the next day and offered to take me home for the weekend so I could recover and march once again unto the world.
But when I returned on Monday... I came to a startling realisation. Where's my copy of Pokemon SoulSilver?
I asked my mother and brother to look for it at home while I looked for it in my accommodation. My searches became more desperate, looking again and again in exactly the same places. I tried to think of everywhere I was over the weekend and in the following days, I'd contacted the service station, cafe, shopping mall, everywhere I'd been from Saturday to Monday.
But, after a week of searching... nothing.
So what follows is a mass-eulogy to my digital imaginary friends. And after that, the only silver lining I could find.
Goodbye Irwin the Feraligatr. You were the best starter I could have wished for.
Goodbye Roxanne the Golem. You didn't get further than level 34 but I'd rather have you than any Steelix.
Goodbye Danny the Shiny Gyarados. You were a nightmare to catch at the time, and it's only a shame I didn't train you much further than I did.
Goodbye "The Doctor", my Dialga. Your Roar of Time would even have David Tennant shaking in his shoes.
Goodbye "The Master", my Giratina. Roger Delgado would approve of you more than John Simm's version.
Goodbye Romana, the Palkia. It doesn't matter that you looked like a Raspberry Ripple mecha with iced biscuits for shoulders, really.
Goodbye Drake the Kingdra. Always ready to drill a big hole in an enemy team with your sheer momentum.
Goodbye Yvonne the Scyther. You. Were. Wonderful. And I'm sorry I got things wrong in Mount Silver.
Goodbye Jenny the Wobbuffet. I'll never forget the way you creamed Red's team.
Goodbye Anchor the Gible. You were gonna kick some serious behind.
Goodbye Rick the Ampharos. You were the cuddliest Electric-type in history.
Goodbye Imogen the Absol. You made it possible to catch so many legendary Pokemon.
Goodbye Anya the Absol. You caught so many legendary Pokemon.
Goodbye Yuffie the Nincada. It was just a matter of time and planning, and you had all the speed in the world at your wingtips.
Goodbye Victoria the Combee. It took a long time to find a worthy Combee, and it's only a shame I didn't capitalise on it.
Goodbye Wario the Whiscash. Sorry I didn't get around to training you.
Goodbye Lilian the Oddish. You'd have made a great Bellossom.
Goodbye Barry the Mewtwo. You were as near and dear as any Pokemon I ever had.
Goodbye Luigi the Lugia. I only regret that you couldn't fit your impressive frame through a door.
Goodbye Mario the Ho-Oh. I didn't take you around much but your assistance, when needed, was absolutely crucial.
Goodbye Dean the Latios. I promised you'd never have to fight, and that promise I kept, no matter what. You were the best chauffeur I ever had.
Goodbye Kate the Sandshrew. Whether it was a tree sapling, a cliffside or a boulder, you were always there to help.
Goodbye Terra the Sandslash. You proved that you're not just a defensive tank. You were a turbo-tank.
Goodbye Sasha, the Sandslash. Mother of Terra and Kate, you were always ready to thieve some heart scales on Route 27.
Goodbye Beren the Gallade. You were a marvellous sweeper, however much that surprised us.
Goodbye Luthien the Gardevior. I'm just sorry I didn't completely follow through with your training in time. You'd have been a worthy adversary.
Goodbye Hazel the Pikachu. You were a Nasty piece of work in combat, even if one strong hit could send you flying.
Goodbye Vance the Pachirisu. I'll not forget how you were more or less hugging my leg even on the way out of the Safari Zone.
Goodbye Umiko the Lapras. The only reason I didn't train you up is that I thought you'd be happier out of battle.
Goodbye Orlando the Grovyle. It was tough, but we showed that you didn't have to be a big ugly Sceptile to get the job done.
Goodbye Charlie the Charizard. You made the sun shine that little bit brighter.
Goodbye A'Tuin the Turtwig. You would have been a superb tank.
Goodbye Ruby the Groudon. Always ready to stand your ground in the Pokeathlon. Uh... pun not intended.
Goodbye Maureen the Heatran. I was going to train you right after Claire.
Goodbye Claire the Cresselia. I was going to train you next, to burn the opposition and leave it in cinders.
Goodbye Leonardo the Blastoise. You were not-quite-there-yet for... too long.
Goodbye Vinita the Bulbasaur. Your name was supposed to be ironic, but you never did lose your simple beauty.
Goodbye Tiberius the Cyndaquil. It's only a shame I didn't see you more often.
Goodbye Marcia the Swampert. Always ready to toss in Stealth Rock and rack up a bit of early damage.
Goodbye Riley the Lucario. If your evolution at Level 2 is anything to go by, we had a good time while it lasted.
Goodbye Anakin the other Lucario. Finding you was the reason I'm here. That's got to be worth something.
Goodbye Sybil the Flygon. You were an incredible lead.
Goodbye Meriadoc the Breloom. There are rules against the havoc you could wreak.
Goodbye Peregrin the Shroomish. Overshadowed but not forgotten, you still had a lot of potential.
Goodbye my Umbreon, whose name I regrettably cannot remember. Your regular contributions of Substitutes won't be as quickly forgotten.
Goodbye my Scizor, whose name I also forget. But I won't forget those Baton-Passed attack and defence bonuses any time soon.
Goodbye Dedede the Empoleon. You were most useful in bombing through Platinum in 12 hours.
Goodbye Jade the Rayquaza. You were the only one who positively unnerved me when you followed me around.
Goodbye Arthur the Articuno. You were the most endearing of your trio.
Goodbye Zak the Zapdos. You were the most powerful of your trio.
Goodbye Mort the Moltres. You were the most impressive of your trio.
Goodbye Nanaki the Entei. I went through all that bother of catching you even though I dislike dogs.
Goodbye Diego the Raikou. You were the biggest trouble to catch of every Pokemon I've ever encountered.
Goodbye Bagheera the Suicune. I did at least deliver you from the groping hands and disturbed mind of Eusine.
Goodbye Jerry the Mew. I can't believe I only knew you for what amounted to a couple of hours.
Goodbye Jenova the Deoxys. I still can't decide which was the better form for you to take.
Goodbye Edison the Rotom. I would have been quite happy to train you as long as it didn't involve washing machines.
Goodbye Egbert the Togepi. Never let you faint, did I? The Kimono Girls would be proud.
Shelby the other Togepi. Well. You're in the Pokewalker. I don't think you should stay in there forever, but I don't know if I can bring myself to... delete you.
For all those left unmentioned: however distant, you will remain in my memories and remind me how important it is to value a friend, no matter what their contribution.
There is one dim silver lining that illuminates the glumness of having to say goodbye.
Many of my dearest Pokemon have offspring or parents in my brother's copy of HeartGold. And, maybe some day, their legacy will continue.
And I'll be all the wiser for it, not making the same mistakes again. For a start the minimum level of protection for a Pokemon game will be a zipped coat pocket.
Thanks for reading this oddly bleak post.
On the 7th of October, I'd been back in university for my final year, and... although this had never really happened before in years 1 and 2... my future prospects seemed especially grim and I felt unable to cope. My mum came to see me the next day and offered to take me home for the weekend so I could recover and march once again unto the world.
But when I returned on Monday... I came to a startling realisation. Where's my copy of Pokemon SoulSilver?
I asked my mother and brother to look for it at home while I looked for it in my accommodation. My searches became more desperate, looking again and again in exactly the same places. I tried to think of everywhere I was over the weekend and in the following days, I'd contacted the service station, cafe, shopping mall, everywhere I'd been from Saturday to Monday.
But, after a week of searching... nothing.
So what follows is a mass-eulogy to my digital imaginary friends. And after that, the only silver lining I could find.
Goodbye Irwin the Feraligatr. You were the best starter I could have wished for.
Goodbye Roxanne the Golem. You didn't get further than level 34 but I'd rather have you than any Steelix.
Goodbye Danny the Shiny Gyarados. You were a nightmare to catch at the time, and it's only a shame I didn't train you much further than I did.
Goodbye "The Doctor", my Dialga. Your Roar of Time would even have David Tennant shaking in his shoes.
Goodbye "The Master", my Giratina. Roger Delgado would approve of you more than John Simm's version.
Goodbye Romana, the Palkia. It doesn't matter that you looked like a Raspberry Ripple mecha with iced biscuits for shoulders, really.
Goodbye Drake the Kingdra. Always ready to drill a big hole in an enemy team with your sheer momentum.
Goodbye Yvonne the Scyther. You. Were. Wonderful. And I'm sorry I got things wrong in Mount Silver.
Goodbye Jenny the Wobbuffet. I'll never forget the way you creamed Red's team.
Goodbye Anchor the Gible. You were gonna kick some serious behind.
Goodbye Rick the Ampharos. You were the cuddliest Electric-type in history.
Goodbye Imogen the Absol. You made it possible to catch so many legendary Pokemon.
Goodbye Anya the Absol. You caught so many legendary Pokemon.
Goodbye Yuffie the Nincada. It was just a matter of time and planning, and you had all the speed in the world at your wingtips.
Goodbye Victoria the Combee. It took a long time to find a worthy Combee, and it's only a shame I didn't capitalise on it.
Goodbye Wario the Whiscash. Sorry I didn't get around to training you.
Goodbye Lilian the Oddish. You'd have made a great Bellossom.
Goodbye Barry the Mewtwo. You were as near and dear as any Pokemon I ever had.
Goodbye Luigi the Lugia. I only regret that you couldn't fit your impressive frame through a door.
Goodbye Mario the Ho-Oh. I didn't take you around much but your assistance, when needed, was absolutely crucial.
Goodbye Dean the Latios. I promised you'd never have to fight, and that promise I kept, no matter what. You were the best chauffeur I ever had.
Goodbye Kate the Sandshrew. Whether it was a tree sapling, a cliffside or a boulder, you were always there to help.
Goodbye Terra the Sandslash. You proved that you're not just a defensive tank. You were a turbo-tank.
Goodbye Sasha, the Sandslash. Mother of Terra and Kate, you were always ready to thieve some heart scales on Route 27.
Goodbye Beren the Gallade. You were a marvellous sweeper, however much that surprised us.
Goodbye Luthien the Gardevior. I'm just sorry I didn't completely follow through with your training in time. You'd have been a worthy adversary.
Goodbye Hazel the Pikachu. You were a Nasty piece of work in combat, even if one strong hit could send you flying.
Goodbye Vance the Pachirisu. I'll not forget how you were more or less hugging my leg even on the way out of the Safari Zone.
Goodbye Umiko the Lapras. The only reason I didn't train you up is that I thought you'd be happier out of battle.
Goodbye Orlando the Grovyle. It was tough, but we showed that you didn't have to be a big ugly Sceptile to get the job done.
Goodbye Charlie the Charizard. You made the sun shine that little bit brighter.
Goodbye A'Tuin the Turtwig. You would have been a superb tank.
Goodbye Ruby the Groudon. Always ready to stand your ground in the Pokeathlon. Uh... pun not intended.
Goodbye Maureen the Heatran. I was going to train you right after Claire.
Goodbye Claire the Cresselia. I was going to train you next, to burn the opposition and leave it in cinders.
Goodbye Leonardo the Blastoise. You were not-quite-there-yet for... too long.
Goodbye Vinita the Bulbasaur. Your name was supposed to be ironic, but you never did lose your simple beauty.
Goodbye Tiberius the Cyndaquil. It's only a shame I didn't see you more often.
Goodbye Marcia the Swampert. Always ready to toss in Stealth Rock and rack up a bit of early damage.
Goodbye Riley the Lucario. If your evolution at Level 2 is anything to go by, we had a good time while it lasted.
Goodbye Anakin the other Lucario. Finding you was the reason I'm here. That's got to be worth something.
Goodbye Sybil the Flygon. You were an incredible lead.
Goodbye Meriadoc the Breloom. There are rules against the havoc you could wreak.
Goodbye Peregrin the Shroomish. Overshadowed but not forgotten, you still had a lot of potential.
Goodbye my Umbreon, whose name I regrettably cannot remember. Your regular contributions of Substitutes won't be as quickly forgotten.
Goodbye my Scizor, whose name I also forget. But I won't forget those Baton-Passed attack and defence bonuses any time soon.
Goodbye Dedede the Empoleon. You were most useful in bombing through Platinum in 12 hours.
Goodbye Jade the Rayquaza. You were the only one who positively unnerved me when you followed me around.
Goodbye Arthur the Articuno. You were the most endearing of your trio.
Goodbye Zak the Zapdos. You were the most powerful of your trio.
Goodbye Mort the Moltres. You were the most impressive of your trio.
Goodbye Nanaki the Entei. I went through all that bother of catching you even though I dislike dogs.
Goodbye Diego the Raikou. You were the biggest trouble to catch of every Pokemon I've ever encountered.
Goodbye Bagheera the Suicune. I did at least deliver you from the groping hands and disturbed mind of Eusine.
Goodbye Jerry the Mew. I can't believe I only knew you for what amounted to a couple of hours.
Goodbye Jenova the Deoxys. I still can't decide which was the better form for you to take.
Goodbye Edison the Rotom. I would have been quite happy to train you as long as it didn't involve washing machines.
Goodbye Egbert the Togepi. Never let you faint, did I? The Kimono Girls would be proud.
Shelby the other Togepi. Well. You're in the Pokewalker. I don't think you should stay in there forever, but I don't know if I can bring myself to... delete you.
For all those left unmentioned: however distant, you will remain in my memories and remind me how important it is to value a friend, no matter what their contribution.
There is one dim silver lining that illuminates the glumness of having to say goodbye.
Many of my dearest Pokemon have offspring or parents in my brother's copy of HeartGold. And, maybe some day, their legacy will continue.
And I'll be all the wiser for it, not making the same mistakes again. For a start the minimum level of protection for a Pokemon game will be a zipped coat pocket.
Thanks for reading this oddly bleak post.
