Why am I here?

Sometimes I feel beyond disconnected with things... and near as I see it's part and partial for the course of forumming.

When you're on a forum, you miss out on a lot of the little things that make your day count. When you first walk onto the scene it's not like you have people coming up to you with handshakes, saying "Hi, how ya doin'?" or "Long time no see! Good to be back, innit?" - It's like the absence of those otherwise normal formalities makes you feel really... alone. There's nothing quite like being alone.

Maybe it's forums in general, maybe it's PC... I tried to think about why I came back. Sure, I know it was because I had to talk to Steve about my e-mail, but I was so frightened from logging in, I was so afraid to click that button and come back, even though I wasn't returning in the slightest sense. Besides me not understanding the reasoning for that, I also had a really aching want to come back in full. I wanted so bad to return to PC, and I don't even know why. It's really past how you'll see people joke about being a forum junkie or whatever. I just don't get it.

When I thought about it, it felt like I was missing something strangely, lol. I had the though that I'm missing out, and the raw thought felt as if I was missing out on a part of myself - even though a website isn't part of me it still felt that way. Maybe some power beyond me says I'm not done here. I don't know...

Another thing I felt about PC was my comfort with my ego, even though this place is less than accepting of it compared to other forums. Maybe it's the avatar freedoms, with large size limits and allowance for transparency... maybe it was all of the people I never really met but kind of knew in a strangely familiar but disconnected sense... I wish I knew.

Why am I here?

It's me
You just can't resist coming here because I'm here.


Seriously though, PC is a great online community full of interesting and friendly people (although sometimes not at the same time I admit). It's understandable to want to be a part of it.

I've thought the same thing at times. I don't really talk to anyone here. I have a few friends but I don't go out of my way to really send them a message or anything. I post, I make threads, and then I go about my day. But without doing that it almost feels empty. Maybe it'd be different if I used other forums than this one. I don't know. I've made accounts on other forums but it just doesn't feel the same. I've never been gone for more than two weeks here, and I don't know that I'd like to. I wasn't missed, and I won't be missed. When I do decide to go people won't be sad, the wheels will keep on turning, the world won't end. But it feels good here. It feels good just being here. Or maybe it's just because I spent money on my account. I don't know.

There's still things to experience here yet. And that's why I won't leave yet, and I personally would prefer if you didn't either. Times will change, and so will people. But you will always have a place to be here on PC.

I feel you, dude. Sometimes when I feel down and want to leave PC, for some weird reason I feel like I'm hurting much more, because it's not just forum that I'm talking with, the friends that you make makes us connected, somehow.

That's why no matter I try to leave, I ended up coming back for some reason, and I hope that you'll find your joy in here, too.

I can understand people who are in your situation. PC is a forum with so much that it's well, just hard to leave.

There's so much that made me stick around and I'm proud of that.

People come and go from PC for all kinds of different reasons. I can't tell you how many times I've "left" for no good reason, then came back later in the same fashion I walked out in.

I think it's the feeling of "maybe if I stick around a little longer, it'll get better/I'll get more attention/maybe I can redeem myself" or whatever reason the person has for leaving that makes them keep coming back. Hell, PC's been my home since I was 12, as many times as I've tried to leave, I always found myself coming back lmao.

And yeah, too much ego doesn't really fly very well for too long around here.

Well the only reason I'm here is because I can't go back to my previous forums due to being permabanned. PC's a nice place, though I do wish it wasn't so isolated from the majority of the internet community. If you wish to leave, then that's your choice.