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Everybody Hates Becca!

Posted December 15th, 2009 at 5:26 AM by Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty (✖ You Stay Classy, Professor Moriarty ✖)

...Otherwise known as the sitcom that is my life.

Mum: Urgh! I am never eating a pasty from that shop ever, ever again.
Dad: Devil Pasty!
Me: What if I was dangling upside down over a boiling pit of lava, and some super-villain threatened to drop me in unless you ate another one?
Dad: Sh*t happens.
Mum: Yeah, you could do with a tan.
Me: And people wonder why I have a therapist.

ON THE OTHER HAND. POSTMAN HAD PACKAGES FOR ME TODAY.
...
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I lit a wee fire...on a boat!
Posted inFANDOOOOM, ‎RL Shennanigans
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Old

take my card. please.

Posted December 6th, 2009 at 12:19 PM by Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty (✖ You Stay Classy, Professor Moriarty ✖)

Oh goooodddd so much money spent this week I can't even plead Christmas an excuse except except that because it's Christmas there are sales and sales, sales are good.

• 4 x CD's in HMV. Best of U2, Best of Robbie Williams, Paramore: Riot and Nickelback: Dark Horse. They had a deal on. ;
• A pair of Creative Aurvana Live! headphones from Amazon. As much as I love iPods, their headphones aren't exactly the greatest. And these were on sale at £60. ;
...
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I lit a wee fire...on a boat!
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Old

YOU EVOLVED FROM A DOG

Posted December 5th, 2009 at 4:27 AM by Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty (✖ You Stay Classy, Professor Moriarty ✖)

Mum: What's the Pokémon who looks like a blue donkey?
Me: ...Come again?
Mum: Well I was looking through eBay and they had this darling Pokémon plushie which looks like a blue donkey. It has long ears blue ears.
Me: ...Errrr. I can't actually think of any Pokémon based off of a donkey. Can you provide a little more detail than that?
Mum: It was cute.
Me: Yeah, like that helps. *pulls up an image from Google Image Search of all Pokémon* Okay, point to it.
...
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I lit a wee fire...on a boat!
Posted inRL Shennanigans
Views 1833 Comments 8 Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty is offline
Old

BATTERY COVER MISSING. wrrrrry. sadface.

Posted December 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 AM by Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty (✖ You Stay Classy, Professor Moriarty ✖)

urgh.

I've been hunting for one of they pretty damn smart-lookin' Pikachu-Pichu edition GameBoy Colors for a little while now on eBay. and I just. ASFDAKJFGSFGJDSDGSFGDHGF. You find a perfect console at a perfect price and then in tiny tiny tiny type at the bottom it's all "ooh sorry I lost the battery cover whatevs it still works" and I'm like WHY. DID YOU HAVE TO. DO THAT.

Am I the only kid who never, ever lost a battery cover? Who didn't even know how to go
...
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I lit a wee fire...on a boat!
Posted inFANDOOOOM
Views 1977 Comments 7 Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty is offline
Old

MY BABIES ARE HERE *DERANGED CAT LADY SMILE*

Posted November 21st, 2009 at 6:03 AM by Pokémon Ranger ✩ Moriarty (✖ You Stay Classy, Professor Moriarty ✖)

(Not to be confused with the "Deranged Catwoman Smile", a damage-dealing move found only in the Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt and Michelle Pfeiffer species of Catwoman. (Note: neither the Alan Moore or Halle Berry species of Catwoman comes with this move; instead, it was replaced with "Yet Another Ineffective Female Character", a move very similar to that of Magikarp's "Splash" attack.) If used successfully, the DCS also has a 75% chance of causing Infatuation if the victim...
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I lit a wee fire...on a boat!
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