for whatever reason i get drunk on nostalgia, bitter sweet hope, and contentment occasionally. my heart seems to swell and grow and my chest gets light. my breathing will then get a little bit shorter and i'll feel a cool fall breeze blow through my lungs. i'll feel empowered, warm, ready, excited, invigorated. and then i'll look around and i'll crash. i don't know why i crash. but i crash. abruptly nearly every selfish beauty i had felt and seen in that moment vanishes and the reality, as cold...