you aren't that bad. By the looks of it, it seems like you just need to be a bit more decriptive. Like when your character says something, in your post, explain how they said it, what they were doing when they said it, how they were feeling, and what was happening around them. Okay, not all of that has to be added, thats just some things that can be included.
I don't know how much help I'll be, people don't usually ask me for help.