I'm afraid I can't commit to teaching as such, as there are so many areas that it would take a while, and I don't trust myself to be consistent.
(That's a fancy way of saying "Sorry but I'd be terrible!")
I can, however, direct you to threads that would be useful as you try your hand at hacking, though! These would be the two primary things people have in mind when beginning a hack:
Both tutorials explain the programs you'll need in order to DO those things. You won't need too many (just one for each tutorial, really) and they can both be found in the Toolbox (again, click the bolded text to go there!)
I also recommend checking out our Tutorials section, as you may find something there that you had no idea existed, which is of course enlightening.
If there's anything else I haven't covered there, feel free to just ask! :)