It's less that and more the fact that I do not have a high opinion of monogamy and Valentines Day tends to result in the rest of the world reminding me how arbitrarily locked out of their upper friend zone I am.
I don't think anyone does, it just gives companies excuses to put out "deals" for overpriced candies, cards, and other so called "romantic" products and try to make people feel as if they need them. Then again, that seems to be the case with a lot of holidays in recent years.
Still pushing yourself, I see. Well, this time I won't offer any "advice" or anything of the sort, because that's not going to do anything, actually I want to say that what you're doing is incredible. Pokemon Fallout and Pokemon Trainer's Academy take an incredible amount of maintenance, and not to mention the untold amount of RPs that you partake in outside of PC; hell, I can think of a good many companies that would kill to have someone so dedicated...but is this your hobby or your job? That's not meant to be sarcastic or mean, it's serious. I'm not sure if your addicted or you feel so obligated that you can't keep away or...it's really none of my business. Truly and honestly, its not, but I fear that you won't be able to break free of roleplaying on your own. I know that you don't want to stop, but at least a month and ideally a year may do wonders.
Still, I know that's not possible, you have far too much obligation to the large list of apprentices you took on and the commitments you have to all the RPs and RPers you interact with. So much obligation that it could fill up several small houses, and I understand that, but I truly wonder if you worry about Marin. Not Yellow or any other internet name, but Marin herself. Does she get the care she deserves? Is she emotionally and mentally okay? Does Marin have fun doing any of this? Does she get any sort of gratification out of it. These methods of trying to heal yourself will not succeed if you continue to RP as you do, and I am one hundred percent sure of that. I'm not trying to give you any advice, nor do I actually want you to respond, but I don't enjoy watching you destroy yourself, even if it is "none of my business", and I'm sure those close to you don't, either.
Ah, that last Fallout post pretty much answered my question. Well are you, at the very least, getting exercise? You need to do at least that much or you'll start to deteriorate. Are you at least enjoying all of the roleplaying you do? Please tell me you don't solely do it out of obligation.
I simply went on because there was always to be discussed; but really, I see no reason to continue with your frustration on high. It only has its cons to continue, no one's going to admit defeat, anyway, it'd just go on until someone throws their hands up and says "screw it, I'm outta here". What's more, emotions affect arguments, and I can already see where this will go (or has already gone) in light of that. Though, I do apologize for making you so mad; after all, I was the one that said I would come to your aid if you ever needed help, and this whole debacle really seems rather contradictory on my part, and even more that you have to keep coming back here despite the fact that I'm trying to dissuade you from visiting the temp so often.
I will say this, though, I've been holding back quite a bit. Often I wonder if I should say one thing instead of the other because one thing is more aggressive than the other and it will make you dislike me more than you already do. I realize that this...pain that I feel, it isn't the pain of caring what others think or feeling their malice, it's the incredible frustration I hold inside rather than taking it out on the person I'm talking to. I repress it so that they will feel better about me, and often times my arguments come out weaker because I'm repressing my true thoughts filled with frustrations. I have listened to everything that you said, every last bit. I have listened to your arguments and counterarguments, and I have taken them into consideration. I'm listening well, and I make rebuttals completely based on the points that you feel are valid. It may seem like I'm being "stubborn" and "am not listening to what you're saying", but I am. I've analyzed your logic, I listened to your rebuttals, and I researched to make my arguments stronger to counter yours. I studied Physics, Pokemon, ballistics- all of it, but every single time you would completely refute it, even going as far as to say that I'm talking out of ignorance and stubbornness and that I didn't research any of it. You clearly don't respect me, that much is I can tell, but I can't simply sit here and be attacked for things that I know myself aren't true. I, however, respect you, at least so much that I wouldn't insult your intelligence by making ignorant statements, that would simply make me look like a bumbling idiot, and I would have to think rather low of you to completely and utterly waste your time like that (and mine). I did, though, let all of it go, and decided not to go on the attack, because I was genuinely interested in you, and I still am. I enjoy talking with you about the things we relate on (and don't), and just general life. I mean, even though this is the internet, we're still people. So go on, if you feel this calls for further discussion, go ahead, and if you want to completely stop talking to me, completely ignore me, that's fine as well...but I'm not going to fight back, these years of pent up frustration will indeed surface if I continue, and I certainly don't want to take that out on you. I'd rather you have the distaste you have for me now than the bitter scorn that would be born from further discussion.
You blatantly don't know the first thing about ballistics. You don't listen. I am so irate right now. You have wasted so much of my time with this. You want to stop /now/? Too late. I'm so far gone, and y'know what? I don't want to hear from you. Is that something you understand? Do I need to make it more clear for you? Should I go out of my way to PROVE that I don't in fact want receive further communication from you?