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Community Supporter Tier 5

Ray Maverick Ray Maverick is offline

You. Yes, YOU! You are DEAD!

Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 1411 to 1420 of 9844
  1. Claire*
    October 5th, 2012 06:04 AM
    Claire*
    It's just some random piece of art that I found. It really spoke to me and I connected with it.

  2. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 04:34 PM
    Claire*
    Oh really? I didn't know which one I liked better so I reverted. I'll switch back to the other one.

  3. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 12:41 PM
    Claire*
    Fair enough. I only write like that when something very important happens in a character's life.

  4. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 12:01 PM
    Claire*
    David looked down at the small, defenseless person in his arms. His eyes swelled with tears, not of sadness, but of joy. This little body that he held, no, this miracle, it was a part of him, yet it wasn’t. It was separate and distant, yet close. No words could accurately describe the feelings that flooded him; like the storm surge of a hurricane crashing its way through a levee, his emotions raged. Among this turmoil of emotion, joy, relief, determination, pride, and most of all, fear. Fear that he would not live up to what this little person needed him to be. Fear of being the very evil he suffered under the hands of his own guardians. Fear of failure. This little life was his to protect, nothing mattered more than that, David knew this. After all, he was indeed a father now.

    Just my very poorly written example. I was always told it wasn't enough to say that somebody was scared, they had to say why. (Unless the reasoning is obvious to the audience, such as a killer with a knife.) I'm sorry if I'm not conveying my thoughts in an eloquent manner.

  5. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 11:36 AM
    Claire*
    I think it should definitely be a fine balance. Maybe a more detailed description wouldn't hurt, especially in the feelings department. :D

  6. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 10:54 AM
    Claire*
    Well, I thought you meant a complete change in style. I'm always for more detail in writing, I need to get better at it myself. I think sometimes writers can go overboard however, for example:

    "She put down the toothpaste, it was minty, brilliantly so, like the kind of minty freshness one would expect from a sprig of freshly chopped mint leaves. So fresh, so pungent, so clean. She couldn't even accurately describe how minty it was, but she liked it."

    See, I think when people go into crazy detail like that over something stupid like toothpaste, well it's a bit much. Yes, I did just write about toothpaste.... >.>

  7. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 10:45 AM
    Claire*
    It's hard to change writing styles, but not impossible. Can I have a sample of the style you're thinking of changing to? :D

  8. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 09:23 AM
    Claire*
    *bows* Thank you, thank you! I know, I'm amazing.

  9. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 08:52 AM
    Claire*
    I'm puns of fun. :D

  10. Claire*
    October 4th, 2012 08:48 AM
    Claire*
    One would say it would be very.... "cool"........Oh lord, stop me before I come up with more puns.....Stop! In the name of love!.......Chill out.....Freeze!.......Don't give me the cold shoulder.....Ice Queen......gah.....what is happening?!

About Me

  • About Ray Maverick
    Biography
    i'm immature
    Interests
    writing
    Gender
    Male ♂
    Occupation
    Assassin
    Nature
    Lonely
    Favorite Pokémon
    Typhlosion, Zangoose, Reuniclus, Garchomp, Weavile, Zoroark, Jolteon
  • Claims
    Pairings
    Saturated Hue
  • Signature
    *****

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  • Join Date: February 16th, 2009
  • Referrals: 8

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Emblems

Emblem Showcase - 5 Total
  Emblem
Community supporter
These helpful members donate their money to help make PC a better place.
Awarded: October 19th, 2009 08:45 AM
2010
This member helped us celebrate the start of a new decade.
Awarded: January 11th, 2010 04:16 PM
Holiday Map Off Participant
Thank you for entering the Holiday Map Off competition at 2011's Holiday Hop!
Awarded: January 14th, 2012 07:05 AM
PC Veteran
These old folks have been around for far too long but we love them anyway.
Awarded: February 16th, 2012 03:50 AM
Into the Haze
To get through this hazy path, it's going to take you a long, long time.
Awarded: 2 Weeks Ago 04:30 PM

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