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Destiny Destiny is offline

All the lights in the sky...

Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 111 to 120 of 2670
  1. Larq
    May 4th, 2011 07:24 AM
    Larq
    Kay, I've got your Samurott. Just let me know when you're able to trade.

  2. Anna
    May 2nd, 2011 08:47 AM
    Anna
    When she gets back- i.e. next weekend I think.

  3. Reiyu
    May 1st, 2011 08:04 PM
    Reiyu
    I can trade and trade back your boldore to help evolve it (-) i had the same prob till a while ago lol!

  4. Larq
    May 1st, 2011 07:36 AM
    Larq
    Kay, I'll have it done sometime today. :D
    Hey, is the Charmander nickname-able, or did you get it from someone else?

  5. bobandbill
    May 1st, 2011 04:27 AM
    bobandbill
    Well there's still the line spacing gap thing you could implement (so e.g.

    Quote:
    Paragraph one.

    Paragraph two!

    Dialogue from someone! More dialogue from the same person on the same line!

    Someone else is now talking so new spacing is used!
    As opposed to what you are doing throughout ie:
    Quote:
    Paragraph one.
    Paragraph two.
    Dialogue for someone.
    Sam person is still talking.
    Different person is speaking now.

    As for the further additions, there's more than just adding in events - for instance:
    Quote:
    "Ok!"
    "Now, Touko. Come over here!"
    The Professor and Touko walked over to the shop.
    "This is the Pokemart! this is where you can buy items for your journey ahead!"
    "Thanks Professor!"
    "No problem Touko, have a safe journey!"
    Sure this shows us more of what actually happens, but what does happen isn't that interesting nor tell us much about the characters or setting. For instance to make this more interesting, detail how she says things (is she patient and happy to tell Touko what a mart is even though arguably a person who is 10 or years older should know what a shop looks like, or maybe tired, or so forth?) and what things and places look like (is this shop big or small? Is there a lot of people shopping, or is it empty save for the shop keepers?). Make the stuff you add in interesting to read about - show rather than tell, as it's more interesting to read when one can visualise what things look like or how they are done. There's more on showing rather than telling in those guides linked to at the bottom of the rules if memory serves btw.

  6. bobandbill
    May 1st, 2011 03:02 AM
    bobandbill
    It's better already. =) I still feel a bit more could be added in however e.g. although you put in more about the professor showing her about, it still feels a bit rushed to me. More examples of additions to consider in say the quote I used below would be to consider how the rest of the crowd also reacted or how they walked off - essentially consider each event in your story and how everyone/thing would react to said event.

    As for the correct way to go with formatting in regards to spacing, there's no need to make a new paragraph for every sentence spoken (ie with Ghetsis' speech in particular), and use a line gape spacing between each actual paragraph. So for instance:
    Quote:
    Everyone, I end my words here today by imploring you to consider the relationship between people and Pokémon... and the correct way to proceed.
    We sincerely appreciate your attention."
    The man and all his minions walked off.
    "Woah, what the hell was that?" Touko was confused.

    would be better as:
    Quote:
    Everyone, I end my words here today by imploring you to consider the relationship between people and Pokémon... and the correct way to proceed. We sincerely appreciate your attention." The man and all his minions walked off.

    "Woah, what the hell was that?" Touko was confused.
    Hope that helps.

  7. Anna
    April 30th, 2011 05:09 PM
    Anna
    Not really. She claims she doesn't know what to do on the forums.

  8. Larq
    April 30th, 2011 12:37 PM
    Larq
    I could do that for you. I'll start on the Oshawott, and we can arrange to trade over your Golett soon.

  9. Larq
    April 30th, 2011 09:52 AM
    Larq
    I have the pre-evolutions, but I'd gladly level/evolve them up for you.

  10. polkop
    April 30th, 2011 08:03 AM
    polkop
    Thanks

About Me

  • About Destiny
    Biography
    Sup.
    Interests
    You think I have a life?
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Male ♂
    Occupation
    School kid
    Nature
    Lonely
    Also Known As
    Destiny, Harvey, Harv, DestinyExplorer
    Favorite Pokémon
    Rotom, uh...Empoleon is kinda cool. Dialga is pretty neat too.
    Twitter
    Harv_D
  • Signature
    White 2 FC- 4556-8077-2137
    3DS FC: 4854-6421-4741
    Be sure to add me and let me know so I can add you back!

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  • Last Activity: 1 Week Ago 01:12 PM
  • Join Date: April 16th, 2009
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Xbox Live Gamertag: DestinyExplorer
Steam Network User ID: Harv_D
3DS Friend Code 4854-6421-4741
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Togetherer
You hosted an event at the Get-Together 2010, bringing hundreds PC members together and contributing to HUGE SUCCESS! We are GLaD for you.
Awarded: November 8th, 2010 11:11 PM
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This member had the spirit to participate in the New Year's singing competition!
Awarded: January 7th, 2011 10:58 AM
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