Showing Visitor Messages 71 to 80 of 561
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Alright.. I still see no problem with it, lol.
I'll see into editing my post right away.
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I see nothing wrong with the formation of my SU, really.. lol Maybe it's just your bandwidth? As for the spelling mistakes, I think more than I type. Hope that's understandable, as I've no spell check. xD I'll fix 'em, though
Hm. What kind of light swords exist, then?
Last line should explain it now.
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May 18th, 2012 08:27 PM
Cirrus
Add lines in between paragraphs, and try not to leave lines stranded by themselves on the page (corroborate them into larger paragraphs). This will help readability. I spot a few spelling mistakes (or maybe just one, I dunno) so fix those too!
Also katanas don't exist, unfortunately. ; o
Hmm... your character needs some motivation. Why would he join a band of mercenaries? He seems more likely to work by himself.
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I have literally no idea what you're talking about. Just tell me how to fix it. xD
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So you're actually greek? ;B
Well the thing is I, umm.. kinda started writing about a character with a similar personality to the muse. xD; Maybe you'd like to have a look at it? I can write something else, though, I have something in mind.
I'll do my best. Your RP looks so pro. xD
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Eleusis? As in, Ελευσίνα? ;D
Is there another spot in your RP, by the way? I see Arianne's legend open, but I'm not sure if I HAD to choose a legend or not.
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What's an Rper if they're not dedicated?
On the case of being a consultant, I'd be delighted. Even though my character won't be as important as the others, I think she'll be the least bit cardinal in some ways. I won't be inactive too much, if at all. ('ve actually been surprisingly good at dividing up my time as of late...)
Either way, I'm glad that you did decide to accept me, even in the way you did.
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I understand where you are going with this. Ultimately, I'll be fine with whatever choice you make.
Anyways in an attempt to at least make myself a little bit happier with what you decide, I revamped the whole thing a little more. I deleted some of the things that were a bit repetitive in the writing and switched out many for synonyms that wouldn't harm it to much. I added a bit more to the sample (again) and made sure that it flowed well in most cases.
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I'd say probably 30 years after FSN, 40 after FZ. Emiya Kiritsugu had any sequential wars rigged to be terminated after Heaven's Feel 4 (though Heaven's Feel 5 took place earlier than expected, thus undermining his plans). So, if Heaven's Feel 6 were to take place, I'm sure 40 years is enough time for the dynamite Kuritsugu laid to have diffused. Since the Grail is technically "gone" anyways, it probably wouldn't even trigger that system. And since the Magecraft Association opposed the Fuyuki Grail and had it dismantled, it'll be more of a "SURPRISE SUCKERS" when it actually goes down. XD
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So I was thinking the best way to go about it might be to hold a Heaven's Feel 6 that takes place a few decades after the end of the true end of Heaven's Feel. Since it's implied there would be no more Grail Wars after, it'd give at least an interesting scenario where the Masters have no preparation or overall awareness of the war before it happens. As for the reason for a new Heaven's Feel, I'm thinking of weaving it into my antagonist's backstory.