Sounds like an epic night, I have had a few of them, but woken up in other people's houses! XD
Beach? I know you ain't talking about Scotland, so that much be Cyprus? May I ask, why is your location Scotland/Cyprus? They must be the two most opposite places ever! XD
It's okay. Hopefully I will be able to get my own computer one day. I'll ask my parent since it's their computer. But I would be able to uninstall it would no trouble right? Because if they say I can try it and if they don't like it. would I be able to get rid of it easy?
I was part of the popular crowd up until middle school, where I had an interest in band. After then, I found myself betrayed from the friends I had up until that point. They weren't interested in talking to me, and they sort of turned their backs on me. I had all of two friends from that crowd abandon me completely just because of my interest in joining the band. The two friends that stayed with me later left me as well, but I partly blame myself for that because I wasn't really putting an effort into communicating with them and found myself making new friends. Albeit, I made only a handful of them. I found that I was much more satisfied with a small number of close friends than a large number of friends that I wasn't so close with. I'm actually glad I ended up doing that, because then I wouldn't really know what a friend was.
I had a similar experience. Halfway through high school, I ended up getting depression and left school around February of my sophomore year. That was probably one of the hardest times of my life, because I experienced the loss of my mother, and then our family began to break. I left school for different reasons, though. I could cope with the depression during school because I started to isolate myself from people and became rather dark and depressed i general towards life. I mainly left school initially because I wanted to try an alternative to the traditional schooling methods. I started to take classes online and that's when I started to really stay inside and ever rarely go out. After that period of time, that's when I started becoming more self aware and confident of who I was. I consider myself to be spiritual, so perhaps I just became a different person during that period. I mainly explored myself through music, though.
I've actually become someone who cares very little of what most people think of them. People who don't like me, I tend to enjoy making them dislike me more just because I find it fun in some twisted sense. I sort of have an attitude of "Well, you don't like me. I'll give you a reason not to like me!" At times I go through periods of doubt within the friends I have -- both the ones I made online and the ones I have offline -- of what it means for them to be my friend, if I really do think that they're friends. Sort of like "define your relationship" periods, you know? Where you sit, think about a person, think about what they mean to you, wonder what you mean to them (if you don't already know) and then go on from there to define what they are to you exactly. I feel guilty sometimes when I do that, because I lead myself to believe that most of the people I examine like that aren't my friends and have used me in the past. I then try to remove them from my life if I become certain that that is the case.
I have a lot of people I talk to who I don't consider friends. I have about twenty or so people who I consider to be my friend. But I only have about two or three people who I actually completely trust. Like I said before, though, I'd rather have a small number of quality friends than have a mass amount. Which leads me to believe that people who go around saying "I have more friends than you!" are rather immature and blind to the world. Then that leads me into becoming somewhat condescending because I start thinking higher of myself and lower of them. I find that happens a lot.
I don't know why so many people are obsessed with popularity and impressing others. I'd much rather be the black sheep of the crowd. I don't find people that follow the crowd to be much impressive. Being normal in that sense of society smiling at you and accepting you blows. I think that's why I'm so interested and drawn to people who are different and break society's standards and stereotypes.
I think those big challenges will do you a lot of good! I don't have any like that, but I do have ones that I'd like to complete in my life. Seeing your list really makes me consider setting more goals for myself. I don't really know what I want to do right now in life, though, and I think it's time to really start discovering that for me. There are a few paths in life that will lead me to careers I'm interested in, but I'm having a very hard time determining which one I'd like to follow through on.
A lot of people think you get depressed and withdrawn after you spend a lot of time online, but for me it was the opposite! I spent two years primarily socializing on the internet, and a few months I spent completely by myself (apart from family).
During that time, somehow I developed self esteem I never had before and I had a lot of self worth and confidence when I dealt with people. It's rather strange, really, and I thought I was just a rare case of sorts, since most of the people I know who spend a while online do it primarily because of the problems they have dealing with people offline.
Unless I misread what you said! Then forget what I said. :X
I do find it really hard to meet people who share the same interests as me.
I had a lot of trust problems throughout the years. I would hand out trust like it's candy, and I'm really naive and foolish when it comes to finding people that I should be able to trust. I'm entirely too innocent in the world in that regard, because I figure that they won't do anything and aren't getting to know me to betray me or something of the sort. But I'm beginning to be a little weary on the people I trust, and I've become a lot like you in those regards.
I find it difficult to find people I can really trust as well. I've become someone with a very weary outlook on people's motives, and I've become a lot more difficult to talk to offline because of that. Always have questions going on in my mind. "Why is this person trying to get to know me? Are they looking for something? Or do they truly want to be my friend?" and things like that.
omg tl;dr! I so didn't mean for this to get this long... :[
April 18th, 2011 11:09 AM
Heh. I tend to prefer a lot of the friends I make online to the ones I have offline. In a way, that kind of makes me feel like I don't have a social life offline (at least not one as fully developed as the one I have online). It usually gets to the point where I'd much rather my offline friends be somewhere else and the people I met online be my offline friends.
April 18th, 2011 08:29 AM
Posh, posh! Now you're just making excuses for him. ;O I'm sure there will be a lot of legalities in the way, though!
That aside, I think you should fill out your about me so I know what else to talk about!! ):