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Barrels Barrels is offline

The Fresh Prince of Kanto

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Showing Visitor Messages 16 to 30 of 570
  1. Shining Raichu
    August 30th, 2015 2:45 AM
    Shining Raichu
    It's videos like this that made my friend Adriana (user God on these forums) to say, "Eurovision makes me want to release the neurotoxin." But as you know, (or you may not, I don't remember that far back in our conversation - May... at the rate we talk, that must be on page 2 by now!) this year's Eurovision was my first, and definitely not my last. I have never regretted a use of eight hours less than the time I spent watching Eurovision. So glad Sweden won, but I would have liked to see Belgium get higher than they did. Italy deserved NOTHING! NOTHING!

    Oh dear, the Hulk is coming out again.

    But on the phone front, if you have an iPhone with data, every text is free through the virtue of iMessage! And if you don't have an iPhone (what the psyduck is wrong with you?) you can download this great app called Kik messenger and we can be in a constant state of conversation! You'd never be rid of me, ever! Doesn't that sound exciting?

    Kik messenger also has the dual benefit of you being able to talk to me AND being able to send dick pics to your many lady suitors - and well, if you should happen to accidentally get your wires crossed one day, well that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, would it?
  2. Shining Raichu
    August 28th, 2015 4:20 AM
    Shining Raichu
    Yeah, you go crush those people! Crush them by reminding them of their devastating youth - because it is a lie and it will be taken from them before they rightly know it! You sure know how to bring a man down, I've taught you well padawan.

    Did you know there's a country in the world called Azerbaijan? Would it be a big deal to be elected president there? Would you consider that the best day of your life, being elected president of Azerbaijan? Does every successive president think, "yeah, I'm the guy that's gonna put Azerbaijan on the map!"? That's sad, that president is sad and he should feel sad every day of his life that he doesn't just allow Azerbaijan (and what I'm sure is a rich, renowned Azerbaijanese legacy) to be consumed by a larger country and accept a position in their cabinet of ministers or however that country's system of government works. The things Eurovision teaches you, right?

    And how dare you sir? If you're suggesting that I would suck a dick on top of a moving car, then you are absolutely correct. I would and I have. But if you're suggesting that I would be so bad at it that I would make a rookie mistake and throw my neck out, then I am shocked and offended and you should burn in the fires of Hades for your crimes.

    And yes, you may see said folder, but not right now. If you'd give me your damn phone number it'd be as easy as texting it to you, but alas as our communication remains frustratingly linked to this Pokemon prison, and I can't be bothered making the necessary arrangements to get it to my computer. But it's one hell of a folder, it's a three-ring binder and it's BLUE. It cost $4.50, it's super impressive stuff.

    Can't wait for you to see it!
  3. Shining Raichu
    August 25th, 2015 8:27 AM
    Shining Raichu
    You're not still a teenager, surely. You have to be 20 by now, at least. To be honest I forget most of the time that you're so much younger than I am, I talk to you like you're someone of my age while I should be speaking to you through a woman's stomach like the foetus you are.

    Meanwhile I think the best twist for the little story you have going there is that Benito is the randy one of the mansion while Whoratio and Fellatio just sit quietly by the pool doing their homework and studying algebra just because they have the ability.

    I have had a ghastly week! So not only was I in charge of the shop from Friday 14th to Sunday 23rd (you know how much I love that) I managed to somehow put my neck out which resulted in my having sore shoulders and neck accompanied by a pounding headache from Wednesday to Sunday when it somehow magically fixed itself

    But I did get a new folder for my Pokemon cards!
  4. Shining Raichu
    August 15th, 2015 7:39 AM
    Shining Raichu
    I forgot about fellatio in the context of our conversation, but the concept in general is never too far from my mind, rest quite assured

    As you do, I've spent the better part of my evening (post-polishing my bejewelled silverware, then playing Bejewelled on my phone as I was then in the mood) looking up footage and information on the assassination of John F Kennedy. It's so fascinating, in the new super remastered videos on YouTube you can actually see his brain spill out onto Jackie before she scrambles to evacuate the moving car (which, horrifyingly, later she had no recollection of doing). It's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, and it wasn't until I read up on it that I realised he'd been shot before the fatal headshot. Fun Saturday night. Much better than some mere fellatio.

    You've still yet to tell me what the meanies in your life are doing to you!
  5. Shining Raichu
    August 11th, 2015 11:31 PM
    Shining Raichu
    Who doesn't have silverware? Everybody with a house has silverware, it's just the blanket terms for knives and forks and spoons and muk. It doesn't mean they're actually made of silver, you dork. I don't sit at my dining room table with Maggie Smith polishing my cutlery. Cutlery. That would have been a better word to use. Also what dining room table? I don't have a dining room table. I pushed it against the wall and it's now a computer desk...

    Also I completely forgot about fellatio and other such fun activities when I said that lmao. I meant don't cum geographically where you eat. Like, if you eat in Vegas, don't cum in Vegas. If you eat sitting perched atop a tree, don't cum on the tree. Things like that. Good rule to live by for a strapping young man like yourself.
  6. Shining Raichu
    August 10th, 2015 6:30 AM
    Shining Raichu
    It's amazing, the speed with which five days passes.

    I decided against the guy from Grindr - partially because I've never actually met him before and agreeing to being his housemate would be gross as Grindr is a sleazy place (I could be buying my silverware back from hobos) and partially because I think it would be a really awkward situation with my other housemate if I had a teenager trying to sit on my dick at every given moment. Don't cum where you eat, or something like that.

    If that isn't in accordance with my good Christian upbringing, I don't know what is. That's the 9th Commandment, is it not? "Thou shalt not cum where thou lives"

    What is going on in your life, my British Rattata Son?
  7. Shining Raichu
    August 3rd, 2015 7:54 AM
    Shining Raichu
    That was a very long two paragraphs just to say you miss me, though I'm glad I can inspire such wordy greatness! I've never thought of us as having a 'geography-defying correspondence' in a day and age where village elders have been replaced by Google and Twinstabook, but if that's the romance you hold in your mind then far be it from me to let it flow, you beautiful beautiful man!

    I've actually thought a lot about how I'd divide my money if I were to become rich. I have a whole bunch of people in my life who need money badly and I know they'd put it to good use, so I've kinda worked out a sort of formula of who would get how much. I don't believe in actual charity, though. The starving children and trees and dolphins can wait until my friends can afford a 3DS of their very own

    However my business ventures are only just kicking off! One of them was quite simple really - put up my spare bedroom on Airbnb and have strangers stay in my place for $50 a night so I never have to pay rent again. But that may have been stymied by a potential new housemate coming from the mysterious and wonderful world of Grindr - which is fine, it means I have to put in less effort to be accommodating and I have to pay less rent, which is still rent. But also less risky given that we're renters ourselves and I'm not sure how the real estate or the landlords would feel about us pimping out their room to strangers.

    It could still happen however! We'll see what the future holds when the future comes. When is that, by the way?
  8. Shining Raichu
    July 29th, 2015 8:29 AM
    Shining Raichu
    My present is beautiful, just goddamn beautiful. My favourite quote is

    &quot;What a character,&quot; blurts a startled new employee, seconds after Nev grabs her and charges through the office bellowing, &quot;Good-looking Welsh girl coming throoooough!&quot;

    Because I can just see it happening so vividly haha.

    BUT WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU, OF ME, OF US? My life has kicked into overdrive lately. Not only have I got my regular full-time work, I am also in the works of kicking off two other business endeavours with a friend from high school who used to dream with me about being rich one day. How often do you dream about things in high school and then actually do them? The full-circle-ness is weighing very heavy! Between this and my newfound addiction to Game of Thrones, it's amazing I've had the time to write to you at all!

    But I'll always find time for my Barrels.
  9. Shining Raichu
    July 19th, 2015 9:48 AM
    Shining Raichu
    Cloyster censors out 'c u next Tuesday' for want of a cliche, which begs the question, why don't you have the swear filter turned off. I fought for this freedom for many years, how dare you not exercise it?! I am ABJECT with rage! Abject, I say!

    ClickHole is amazing. It is my new favourite place in the entire Internet. It dares to ask the hard questions like 'Why Vegetarian?' and you get to hear about the first time people had sex. Fantastic place full of honesty.
  10. Shining Raichu
    July 11th, 2015 2:15 AM
    Shining Raichu
    Alright so on the note of the albino dinosaur... it did strike me as incredibly odd that near the beginning of the movie Mr Masrani was like "it's white... you didn't tell me it was white"

    Cut to shot of the Indominus and it is not anything even resembling white, and never was for the entire movie. Like, I get that as a man of his nationality everybody seems white, but Jesus get your eyes checked.

    And yes, Tony Abbott is a cloyster of extreme worldly proportions, but unfortunately he's who we're stuck with until late next year haha.

    Oh my God that letter is frakking hilarious. I can't believe Britain has a version of The Onion too lol. The Australian one is called "The Shovel". Heaven help us.

    But to apologise for my horridly long absence I have brought you gifts! One equally hilarious article and a three-minute video.

    My gift is sounding more like homework every time I read the line back to myself, but you'll do your homework and you'll like it.


  11. Shining Raichu
    June 29th, 2015 8:39 AM
    Shining Raichu
    It's never a line when I use it, it's always the truth! I'm a great liar but I would never lie to you (though how would you know that? I just admitted I'm a great liar. Think on that, let it blow your mind).

    And of course I've seen Jurassic World - nary a soul hasn't at this point. Except those darned Ethiopians, they're still whining about their hunger while the rest of the world rolls its eyes and says "alright we get it, but c'mon it's the Indominus Rex, look at this majestic psyducking beast. Then look at these awesome pictures of me eating chicken."

    I've actually seen it four times at the movies already haha. I didn't grow up with the Jurassic Park movies because my mother has the philosophy of "why don't they just make nice movies?" but I have seen them in recent years so this was a really awesome addition. My favourite scene was [spoilered for any potential onlookers to our thrilling conversations]

    When the two kids were having the little talk about their parents getting divorced and the younger kid starts getting upset and the older one is just like "What, you're gonna cry? It's not up to you you little rattata, sometimes you just gotta grow up." That teenager is my psyducking hero.
  12. Shining Raichu
    June 14th, 2015 9:50 AM
    Shining Raichu
    Nah that's not the same one - it's very similar but the one I read was a bit less clever and actually used the names of the people in the real controversy. If it were that one I might have laughed instead of facepalming

    I'm glad that I've scarred you, I tend to have that effect on men!
  13. Shining Raichu
    June 12th, 2015 7:50 PM
    Shining Raichu
    Hahaha yeah I saw that, it's been plastered all over the internet since the people are from my unfortunate country. Sadly it is true but I have since come across a spoof version of it with the title "couple vows to kill children if gay adoption is legalised" haha.

    Unfortunately as spoof articles go that one is entirely unclever and they squandered the potential of a great parody title by being too heavy-handed with the message it was trying to send
  14. Shining Raichu
    June 11th, 2015 7:14 AM
    Shining Raichu
    I will reply in full tomorrow and if I dont I give you permission to hire a baby to shadow me for all my days!
  15. Shining Raichu
    June 11th, 2015 7:13 AM
    Shining Raichu


About Me

  • About Barrels
    I was born. Then I grew up. But that wasn’t fun, so I grew back down again and started catching Pokémon.

    Most people are decent - and the more friends you make, the better life gets. So if you'd like to say hi, go ahead and do that thing! ;)
    I like creating. Writing, drawing, vidding, programming… you name it, there’s a good chance I’ve failed abysmally at it. (Probably had fun though.)

    In general? Philosophising about stuff I’ll never know, reading Brian Michael Bendis, ordering things I have no need of from Amazon, arting around in Photoshop and watching old Munsters episodes. Not all at the same time.
    Three thousand miles from home
    Male ♂
    Favorite Pokémon
    Snorlax. Since forever. I used to dream about getting a big ol’ Snorlax-shaped beanbag.

    …Who am I kidding? I *still* dream about that.
  • Signature

    Ramona Flowers


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  • Last Activity: 2 Days Ago 7:07 AM
  • Join Date: February 4th, 2012
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Showing Friends 1 to 13 of 13


Emblem Showcase - 4 Total
Top Critic
Congratulations on winning PC's Review Contest. Here's a gold pen to show off to all your friends. It's real gold, you know!
Awarded: February 16th, 2012 8:15 AM
Holy Kommunion
The Bible says that Jesus was like, all about Bloody Mary's.
Awarded: April 5th, 2012 4:15 PM
Not quite there, but still an amazing concept you had in the Design A Spin-Off Contest, which is why you're in 2nd place! Wanna sit down and regain composure?
Awarded: July 19th, 2012 8:39 PM
Banned Dictator
Despite your best efforts, PokéCommunity saw straight through your slander and lies and put you down. Better luck next time, though, and thanks for participating!
Awarded: November 18th, 2012 4:57 AM

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