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Vrai Vrai is offline

can you feel my heart?

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Showing Visitor Messages 8971 to 8985 of 12527
  1. Vrai
    June 18th, 2010 6:33 PM
    re: all who care (which, hopefully, is most of you)

    Most people who know me will realize that I've been... off, lately. Is there a reason? Sure. Do I know this reason? No. But then again, who am I to say that acting a little bit differently is synonymous with "weird", "wrong"?

    I haven't been able to hack. I haven't been able to hack the last two years I've tried.

    Okay, let me give you an example. I used to play Pokemon a lot. I mean like, I had >100 hours on most if not all of my cartridges. And when a little brother of mine happens to play it and deletes the file for his new Charmander, it was a little bit frustrating, to say the least. I've got to say, I've been feeling that frustration with hacking lately. It's even gotten to the point where I feel incompetent.

    How sad is it that I've never mapped a cave map? Better yet, I've never scripted a trainerbattle.

    I should have moved on a long time ago. But somehow I still manage to stick to my fantasies. Somehow I manage to keep myself floating on the little pieces of a dream, of a story that came into my head five years ago. And gradually I came across this place, a fountain of treasure and hope and knowledge and a base of which to build my dreams. I had hope.

    I tried, okay? Once, a long time ago, I tried.

    It makes me wonder who's reading this. Some of you might. Some of you might not. I know who I want to see this, and I know who I do not want to see this, and yet both groups will converge and read it anyway. Should I care? Do I care?

    Oh, for those of you who I've managed to confuse and yet remain hanging onto my words at this point, do not fret. I'm not dead, nor do I plan on it. I'm not going to give up all I have.

    Thus brings the question; what do I have? What do I have indeed. Like I said, it's been nearly two years. Actually, I think it was two years yesterday. Do you know how many people you can know and love and care for in two years? More than I can count.

    Is my spacing weird? I sit here and think and write and I don't know really how to compress my thoughts into what my mind can consider enough to hold a paragraph to a topic in the grammatical sense. But it's elusive, and I like it.

    Anyway, I would like to maintain my previous topic. What do I have? If I sit here and think...

    Oh, have any of you seen the latest Rebirth? ...no? Good, neither have I.

    I have buds. Guys who you want standing behind you, keeping you move forward when you don't want to keep moving.

    Have I been distant? I feel like an ass sitting here and thinking these things the way I do. Secrets kept in my mind of the way I think of people. I like everyone I talk to, mostly. But do I like you all of the time? No.

    I have friends. Those kids who have been in good times and bad, lost times and found. Those guys that stand by you with your beliefs, but scold you when you've done wrong.

    I remember the "good old days", back when I first joined. Some of you kids now don't remember, nor will you ever know, but honestly those were some of the best times of my life. We would have those giant conversations with about a thousand people and we would all leave, just to be invited to another one. I felt important.

    I have a brother. I hate to directly address you when I've been so vague through the rest of this, but you're a world apart from everyone else I've ever known, and I mean that in a good way. I still want to meet you someday.

    This is getting longer than I thought it would be. That's okay. If I had a blog again, I would probably put this there. By the by, that blog that I have that I can no longer see or use.. you might want to read it. I can't emphasize you enough. All of you.

    I have a pair. I don't think you've done anything other than try to make me happy, and I don't think you've ever failed. I don't know if I've ever given anything back, and forever I owe you that debt.

    Does this sound like I'm going to leave?

    I have... a life. Something I've been missing for a long time.

    Far, far in the future, I'll look back at this era and remember. Now I feel like I've wasted these last years of my life doing nothing. Regret.

    Regret is my fated enemy. I regret half of the things I do, only to find out later that I do not, indeed, regret them. I do not regret joining PokeCommunity on June 18th, 2008. I do not regret meeting anyone I've ever met. I do not regret losing my mind trying to get myself to hack. I do not regret anything.

    I feel hypocritical, but now I indeed regret these years. I know I won't, but I do.

    Sometimes I forget what I was supposed to do. Sometimes I don't know if I even had a goal to begin with. Like this; what was I going to say? I have no idea. Spouting out my mind seems to be what's moving my fingers.

    I find myself smiling as I type. I do not know why.

    You may not see me for a while. You may see me tomorrow. You may see me in another life. In any case, each of you should know that you have made an impact on my life. I don't know where I'll end up, but I would like to find myself. I would like to find out where I've gone.

    Thank you.
  2. Zeffy
    June 18th, 2010 5:54 PM
  3. Zeffy
    June 18th, 2010 3:41 AM
    Your avvy is noobeh. ._.
  4. NiKaNoRoU
    June 16th, 2010 3:42 PM
    hay hay back @ yo rocky face
  5. colcolstyles
    June 15th, 2010 2:37 PM
    Eh, I wasn't completely satisfied with some of the colors so I made some slight changes. Night has a little more blue, evening is lighter all around, and I fixed a bug with morning. Now that I have actually gotten it to work so that it only changes the colors on outside maps, I can deal with the smaller details. I'm off to go make some modifications for the sprites' palettes.
  6. colcolstyles
    June 14th, 2010 9:25 PM
    Heh, it's okay. I didn't mind so much, actually.
    You can interpret that any way you want to. ;D

    edit: So I think I've come up with a decent color scheme for evening. Here are all four periods of time:

    What I eventually came up with was one half the green and 15/16ths of both the red and the blue. Basically, it's the same as night except with more red. Also, I'm considering putting in some code which will make it so that the palettes for the OWs won't be as dark during night and possibly evening. I used that technique in my signature to make the two sprites not as dark as the backgrounds (I don't know the exact numbers I used off the top of my head but it was probably something like 3/4 red and green with 15/16 blue (i.e., +1/4 red and green)).
  7. colcolstyles
    June 14th, 2010 3:39 PM
    Yeah, I googled it and found a lot of pictures of the various girls from the anime. Some of it was quite... explicit. And that was with SafeSearch turned on, too.
  8. Chibi Robo
    June 14th, 2010 3:15 PM
    Chibi Robo
  9. colcolstyles
    June 14th, 2010 3:12 PM
    Never heard of that. :\
  10. Pokepal17
    June 14th, 2010 3:11 PM
    I'm not working on Stardrop until you sign in.
  11. colcolstyles
    June 14th, 2010 2:39 PM
    Did you sprite your avatar yourself?
  12. Chibi Robo
    June 14th, 2010 2:31 PM
    Chibi Robo
    I agree with haseeb
    Ebuddeh gogogo
  13. Pokepal17
    June 14th, 2010 2:28 PM
    ebuddy biach
  14. Pokepal17
    June 14th, 2010 2:06 PM
    MSN NOW!
  15. Chibi Robo
    June 14th, 2010 12:29 PM
    Chibi Robo

    He's on a never ending journey to find a dragon.

About Me

  • About Vrai
    Male ♂
  • Signature
    aka Zebraiken | pairs; Ω & ζ | bffl; λ | now; Ϟ | twin; ξ | brother; φ | sister; Ψ | neeks; Ϫ


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  • Last Activity: 1 Week Ago 8:51 PM
  • Join Date: June 18th, 2008
  • Referrals: 14


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