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MirandaxPikachu MirandaxPikachu is offline

Lovin' Pikachu since 1999.

Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 15 of 27
  1. Rayshin
    August 5th, 2012 01:28 AM
    Rayshin
    ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) Y U NO BE ACTIVE? Also, I sent you a friend request. Accept me maybe?
  2. Oryx
    July 22nd, 2012 06:39 AM
    Oryx
    OH I ALSO WANT TO ADD that the pikachu gif you used is the cutest thing I've ever seen where's it from?! ;o;
  3. revere
    July 22nd, 2012 01:09 AM
    revere
    Dear Mirandax, your request is now available at a visible version at my shop. Please use the new pic's URL instead of the old one you're using now.
  4. Rayshin
    July 21st, 2012 04:52 AM
    Rayshin
    Yup. I'm sort of a newbie at Photoshop. Just bought it last summer.

    ~Always.
  5. revere
    July 21st, 2012 02:37 AM
    revere
    Hey Mira, enjoying PC so far? How do you like the OW Combination I made for u & how did you use it?
  6. Oryx
    July 20th, 2012 11:03 PM
    Oryx
    Hi!

    I noticed you're a new member so I wanted to let you know about a rule that I wasn't sure you were aware of. :3 I'm referring to this post here. In every post on PC, you're required to have at least 4 words and 25 characters in a post, to make sure that what you're posting actually has substance. In addition, Pokemon Voting Polls has a rule that you have to add a reason to every post, for the same reason. :) I'd rather have you just edit the post than delete it, so you know for next time!
  7. dkgah
    July 20th, 2012 07:41 AM
    dkgah
    Definitely places on the Northeast coast. People love going there, because there are pretty beaches, "exotic" food, and that kind of stuff.

    I wouldn't personally like to go there, because I'm not a big fan of beaches. But if you're into it!Just note that I said "Northeast coast", because if you go to Continental Northeast, you'll experience a dry desert along with Caatinga vegetation. Yikes!
  8. revere
    July 20th, 2012 02:32 AM
    revere
    NP.
  9. revere
    July 20th, 2012 02:27 AM
    revere
    NP/ It's done BTW. Check it out in 5-10 mins time at my shop.
  10. revere
    July 19th, 2012 10:13 PM
    revere
    Hello. You're request if very easy. I'll do it right away & I do remember that episode in your sig.
  11. dkgah
    July 19th, 2012 10:06 AM
    dkgah
    Well, I'd say "have fun", but since you're going there in August, you still have two weeks. So, have fun at your house!
    Not one hundred percent nice, it's super duper cold in some places and SUPER hot in others (even in winter), but the area I live in is quite all right. Indeed, Brazil has some beautiful locations!
  12. dkgah
    July 19th, 2012 08:39 AM
    dkgah
    I see... Well I guess so, when it's Winter in the southern hemisphere, it's Summer in the northern one. Now I noticed that I actually typed "it's winter here" instead of "it's summer there, correct?" Silly me =P
    Are you going to Portugal as a tourist or you'll visit some relatives? Well, I said on the last one it's winter here in Brazil but, yes I am in Brazil =P
  13. Magic Maker Yo
    July 19th, 2012 04:14 AM
    Magic Maker Yo
    Sorry but from the looks of it all you did is copy and paste my example and left the rest exactly as it is.

    Personally, I think you need a bit more experience to be able to keep up with my RP. Perhaps try out Pokémon Trainer Academy or practice writing on your own, until you can manage a style.

    Sorry!
  14. Magic Maker Yo
    July 19th, 2012 03:14 AM
    Magic Maker Yo
    I can see you've thought through what's happening, which is great, but as a whole it's still very scattered. I love how you've thought to mention a lot of battles - but I think it might be better to only include the first one, with Brock, as that's probably the most important to Miranda's story.

    If you look at the top, it's one HUGE paragraph of description and things. This bit could do with breaking down into proper paragraphs, which will make it way easier to read.

    Then, after that, you seem to have the opposite problem - where you go on to new lines.
    Like this, rather than completing a paragraph. It becomes more a list of what everyone is saying.

    The best way to fix this would, firstly, remove *some* of the events in the history. Or simplify them slightly. For instance the conversation with 'Jan' to get Machoke is very text-dense. Rather than him saying things literally you could just describe how he says things.

    Spoiler:

    Quote:
    “It’s always fun to see a new young trainer on her adventure! That’s a nice Pichu you have there..” He said with a very nice smile.
    “Erm, thanks you sir, I called her Peeka, anyways, I’m Miranda!”
    “Nice to meet you Miranda, you can call me Jan, so, what kind of Pokémon do you have?”
    “Well, I’ll show you, Jan! Everyone! Come!” She yelled happily.
    “Wow, strong looking Pokémon you have here, cute too.. Maybe you’ll make good use of it..”
    “Of.. what?” Miranda said quite confused..
    “Oh nothing, here, a present… I hope you’ll use it right.” He handed her a present, make Miranda more confused than she already was.
    “But I got to go! I hope I’ll see you again sometime dear!” said Jan, without giving Miranda any chance of saying something, he walked away.
    “Alright.. that was weird.. Well, better open the present!” She opened the present, and she was shocked about what was inside…
    “Woah! Is that a Pokéball? Why would he give me a Pokéball?” She grabbed the Pokéball out of the box, and threw it in the air, suddenly, it opened, and a bright light came out of it.. “Choke!”
    “Huuh! A.. Machoke?! For me..? Better check the Pokédex..”
    “Machoke, the Superpower Pokémon. With enough strength to lift a giant truck with one hand, Machoke are often used to extremely heavy work.”
    “Woah, he must be incredibly strong! Machoke, would you like to join the team?” Miranda asked with confidence.
    Quote:
    The old man introduced himself politely, as Jan. He seemed to be intrigued by the fact that Miranda was a Pokémon Trainer - just like he was back in the day. He was very keen to see her Pokémon collection so far, and so she willingly showed off her Pichu and the others - he was delighted.

    Jan, holding out a Pokéball, smiled at Miranda, "Here, this is my partner Machoke. Unfortunately we haven't been able to battle lately, I think I might be past it," he told the girl. "You are at the start of your journey though! I think he might be better off with you," he said, taking Miranda's hand and placing the ball in her palm.

    "I'm afraid I have to go, but I'm sure I'll see you again. Be sure to look after Machoke, he can be a bit of a brute," chuckled the old man, as he walked away - back along the path to Pewter Town.

    [i]Machoke, the Superpower Pokémon. With enough strength to lift a giant truck with one hand, Machoke are often used to extremely heavy work.[i] Beeped the Pokédex, displaying a photo of Machoke as well as lots of other information.

    "Wow!" Cheered Miranda, swinging Peeka round in her arms from the excitement, "I got a Machoke!"


    Can you see how I only used 4/5 lines of text, rather than 10, and most of it is simply description? It's also arranged into paragraphs and is easier to keep up with. See if you can rewrite that section, and the Vaporeon section. It might be best to get rid of the Cerulean/Viridian Gym mentions for now.

    So basically what your History needs is:

    Introduction -> Getting Peeka (oddish, etc.) -> Brock -> Jan/Machoke -> Vaporeon.
  15. Hikamaru
    July 18th, 2012 11:52 PM
    Hikamaru
    Your signature needs editing...

About Me

  • About MirandaxPikachu
    Biography
    Miranda~Dreamer~RPG-er~

    I'm Miranda, born and raised in Pallet town, my mother is a famous Pokemon breeder, and she gave me an egg, when it hatched I went on my adventure with my Pichu. :)
    So far I've visited Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh and Unova! :D
    Location
    Holland
    Gender
    Female ♀
    Nature
    Naughty
    Also Known As
    Miranda
    Favorite Pokémon
    Pikachu, Vulpix, Charizard, Dragonite and any Pokemon of Gen I & II. ( I am NOT saying I hate the other Generations, I just like I & II the best.
  • Signature
    Pokemon Trainer Miranda.

    Made by MidnightShine, visit his shop! *click*

    Pokemon Yellow fan forever.

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  • Last Activity: September 10th, 2012 05:24 AM
  • Join Date: July 16th, 2012
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