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lineofdeath July 22nd, 2013 3:20 AM

multi-gender friends.
i wanted to know what people thought, so what is everyone's thoughts on having different sex friends that aren't lovers.

personally i am perfectly fine with it, my school tends to be a cliquey school and i am the only boy in my social group, so.. yeah. my best friend is a girl.

p.s. i am not homosexual/a ladies man tbh a don't want to be in a relationship till im about 15-16.

Sweets Witch July 22nd, 2013 5:43 AM

Life lesson time!

As you grow, you'll realize that it's pretty unavoidable to have all different kinds of friends. You'll have dude friends, chick friends, friends who feel they don't fit in with either of those, gay friends, straight friends, friends with more complex sexualities, friends with varying religions, friends who fall in love with 2D girls, friends who eat everything with ranch dressing, shy friends, outgoing friends, internet friends, friends who you never talk to but you feel that bond with them - the list goes on and on. Ultimately it comes down to the person behind the labels. Gender won't even matter because you'll have enough in common to feel comfortable enough to insult each other and not feel bad about it.

That being said, the majority of people suck regardless of anything said above. Everybody has a bad side and sometimes seeing the bad side of a friend will ruin your image of that person. Of course, gender is still irrelevant since it's not like you can fix the fact that somebody constantly whines about all of their greedy little wants just by changing them from a girl to a guy. And it's so hard to look beyond some faults that people have because they're so prominent once you notice them. It's like they were sneaking them by you on a daily basis. Once you're aware that somebody has a bad habit of maliciously insulting you under the guise of playing, it's really hard to not think about that. Sure, talking to them about it might be an option, but can you imagine trying to bring that up? There's no way that'll end well. Chances are they'll agree with everything you say while thinking that you're a rude little demon for bringing up such a hurtful topic as "You need to change because I don't like this" in the first place.

And don't forget that YOU have flaws as well. To somebody else, you are the one with the annoying, unavoidable trait. They probably won't ever confront you about your flaws since, as said before, that's a pretty rude thing to do, but there are really no other options. Asking them to tell you what's bad about you is useless since nobody would ever actually SAY such things. A person's flaws are the kind of thing that you keep to yourself until they eat your soul and start to affect your stress levels and physical health. And don't ever trust anybody who says that a real friend will tell you the cold, hard truth. A jackass will tell you the cold, hard truth. A real friend will cushion you and let you live in whatever delusion you live in because it makes you happy and putting that happiness at risk is not worth the bitter feelings.

I forgot the question at hand.

barofan July 22nd, 2013 6:21 AM

The word 'Multi-Gendered' can very easily be misconstrued...

Awkward. July 22nd, 2013 6:32 AM


Originally Posted by barofan (Post 7747418)
The word 'Multi-Gendered' can very easily be misconstrued...

The actual word for that would be hermaphrodite.

Back to the question at hand, it's perfectly okay to have friends of both the same and opposite sex. As Sweets said, gender is completely irrelevant anymore - you really just want to gear towards people with good personalities. Either way, they're still gonna annoy you at some point. Don't create a separation between the annoyance, that just makes more of it. /wise words

Ludger July 22nd, 2013 7:27 AM

The thread title made me think that this was going to be a thread about friends that identify with both genders. Anyway...

Most of my friends are guys. I'm a bit...weird with being friends with girls. As I've grown older, I tried to distance myself from other girls. I do have friends that are girls that I've had for years, but I don't find myself easily making friends with other girls. Most of my friends are guys, like Nick, Gav, Klippy, Razor Leaf...ya know. DEM BOYZ!

Urugamosu July 22nd, 2013 7:41 AM

I.. honestly don't mind.

Gender isn't really something I look for, it's really how the person is, if they're good or bad to be around.
If you are somebody that's nice, and has a good heart, I'll be your friend regardless of gender. It's just not something I think about, really; it's sub-consciously done. So, my answer is, no I don't care about having different gendered friends that aren't lovers.

LilithFaye July 22nd, 2013 8:45 AM


Originally Posted by PJBottomz (Post 7747428)
The actual word for that would be hermaphrodite.

Not necessarily! That's relating to physical sex, not gender :)
There's all different kinds of mish-mashes of genders and things that relate in no way to your physical sex.

Regarding the question at hand, I tend to have more male friends than female, for reasons I've never really understood haha

Paladin July 22nd, 2013 9:39 AM

I don't really see how gender would affect it that much, to be honest. It's not like you'd be falling in love or going out with girl/guy friend you have.

Regardless, I don't tend to worry about it. I usually just befriend those who interest me.

Castform July 22nd, 2013 9:58 AM

I befriend people for who they are not what gender they represent.

Zach July 22nd, 2013 10:02 AM

I have two good friends that are of opposite gender from me and are not in a relationship with me.. they both share a lot of interests with me (such as Nintendo games).

Edward Elric July 22nd, 2013 10:31 AM

Most of my friends are girls, and I am a guy. So what? I befriend whoever I find interesting and fun to be around regardless of gender. I don't see why it should matter really. Friends are friends!

ShadowE July 22nd, 2013 10:34 AM

I dont mind at all... I have good friends (both male and female) and we can get along very well and have similar interests.

Crunch Punch July 22nd, 2013 10:40 AM

I'm too shy to have too many girl friends, though I do have some, but they aren't really people who I keep up with, like through Facebook or something. I mainly hang around with guys since I find it easier. I dunno, I've always somehow found it hard to be smooth when talking to a girl, especially if they are hawt/pretty.

Altair July 22nd, 2013 11:42 AM


Originally Posted by Scyke (Post 7747735)
I'm too shy to have too many girl friends.

I'm too shy to have ANY female friends haha... I don't have much male friends either.
I just find it very difficult to develop and maintain a friendship, due to bad past experiences, I'm better off alone in my solitude. Much more peaceful! ;)

Sableye~ July 22nd, 2013 12:23 PM


Sex doesn't matter whatsoever to me when it comes to if you're my friend or not. You could be male, female, gay, straight, whatever. I judge based of character.
I don't really even pay attention to the matter.

Also, how is it that Dipu is the only one who knows that "gender" is not the correct word? D:

Talli July 22nd, 2013 12:25 PM

most of my friends are boys as I get on with them more than my female friends.
we all get on pretty well despise this though.

Sanguine July 22nd, 2013 12:41 PM

Most of my friends are guys, funnily enough. It's a little annoying, but I usually get referred to as "one of they guys".

That's not to say that I don't have female friends, I do - just not as much. I tend to get annoyed easily when talking to other women, so :/

Shrew July 22nd, 2013 1:34 PM

In this day and age, very rarely do I come across a person whom only likes to befriend a certain gender. I'm not like that.

I remember once I was a member of a site that was mostly female (Neopets), made friends with someone, and only weeks later did they realize I was a guy (despite it being on my profile.) Her parents didn't let her talk to the opposite gender online, so I look back on it as an amusing way to have lost a friend. :P

Honest July 22nd, 2013 1:39 PM

Sex doesn't matter whatsoever to me when it comes to if you're my friend or not. You could be male, female, gay, straight, whatever. I judge based of character. That being said, my closest friends are both male and female, and I love them to bits.

droomph July 22nd, 2013 2:03 PM

it's not that I don't like girls, it's just that girls find me icky.

well I don't even talk to people irl that much so :p

Kano Shuuya July 22nd, 2013 2:23 PM

I'm sort of agender myself, soooo whether I'm hangin' with guys or girls it's all the same to me. My best friend is a guy, though, which might lead people to think that we're dating because "girls and guys can't be friends", but I tend to not believe that.

My friends, some of us are male, and some of us are female and we all get along just fine without dating and etc.

Limerent July 23rd, 2013 12:22 AM


Originally Posted by Trainer_Altair (Post 7747851)
I'm too shy to have ANY female friends haha... I don't have much male friends either.
I just find it very difficult to develop and maintain a friendship, due to bad past experiences, I'm better off alone in my solitude. Much more peaceful! ;)

I'm quite a bit like this too, but after a while the loneliness can become crushing. Online mates are fine, but when you don't have anyone physically there to share experiences and interact with it's just lacking tbh. (Still love my online friends, best people I've ever met <3. But they live thousands of miles away for the most part...)

Now, back to the question, do I have friends of different genders? The answer is errrr no, not really. Disregarding me having very few friends, I can interact with guys easy, if our personalities match. Girls though... Even on the off chance that we won't completely hate each others guts on sight, if she's physically attractive to me, I can't be her friend. I can pretend that's all I feel for her for a little bit... But if her looks and personality are appealing enough I'll want more, that I can't have. And I blow it, every damn time. So it's better to keep girls as a polite acquaintance rather than make her hate me. Girls that I don't find sexually appealing whatsoever also get given the polite stranger treatment. I just have messed up ideas on girls, friends and girlfriends :P

Noah Ridgewood July 23rd, 2013 5:51 AM

Almost all of my friends offline are female. All of my friends are female if you use my definition of a friend.
Almost all of my friends online are male.

I have more to say about this, but I need to go and I wanted to reply otherwise it would bother me.

Gyardosamped July 23rd, 2013 6:14 AM


Originally Posted by Patchisou Yutohru (Post 7749008)
Almost all of my friends offline are female.
Almost all of my friends online are male.

This is also true for me.

My three irl bestfriends are girls, and we're not/have never been in a relationship, but it's not like we would have anyways because I'm gay lol. I had a lot of guy friends up until about 9th grade, and then I met these three girls and yeah.. I started having more friends that are girls than guys. It's funny because most of my friends online are guys, so it's a bit contradictory.

Pikachu July 23rd, 2013 8:11 AM

I have male and female friends offline, online, in my head and wherever. Gender isn't a factor when I make new friends, what matters is how they think and act. Often, boys are a bit more chill and less condemning, which is awfully nice. But that's not really a rule, just an observation based on people I know.

Also, can someone, like, change the thread title?

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