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Old May 18th, 2005, 11:23 PM
Shadowfaith's Avatar
Shadowfaith
Destined for something more...
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: United Kingdom, Wales
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Nature: Relaxed
Xion: I think you have yourself quite a decent character there, but what I do notice is that your description, has too many commas, for example:

Quote:
Always wears this: powder white pants, shadow black shirt and gloves, chestnut brown shoes, long crimson leather jacket which reaches to knees and is unclosed, and sunglasses
That is fine and all, you seem to have your characters look sorted, but I would advise not using so many commas, because some will look for proper punctuation and the ability to use linking words, par example:

Quote:
Lance is always caught wearing Powder white pants and a shadow black shirt accompanied by a similar pair of gloves. Upon his feet he wears chestnut boots and covering most of his thin frame is a long crimson jacket which extends to his knees.
See the difference? I would advise you try that sense of style for both your Description and Personality, though you do seem to have your character pretty figured out

So you could re-do your character and post it here, just to see what you think of it.

As for everything else, I would say your character is perfect for a developed character, but not a starter character, for example for a starter character, you could reduce the number of powerful Pokemon in your group and also start off with weapons such as a simple steel bladed sword, y'know? But other than that, good job ^_-

PS:

Thanks for the comment Bulbasaur and Tsumi dont hesitate to post something Bubasaur, because the worst that would be done is it being closed, you can always try your luck, but if you dont want that to happen, then PM a Mod and get permission ^_-

Your both free to help out whenever you like!