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Old April 13th, 2006 (2:31 PM).
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
Gold Tier
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Nature: Calm
Posts: 6,876
Okay, first assessment.

Add a setting. Describe where you'll begin, it's surroundings and everything.

Why describe the setting when players obviously already know what it looks like? Well first off, not everyone who joins may have played it before. That's what makes a good plot good. If someone has never played the game before, they should know exactly what's going on. Like, I haven't played this game before, and I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. A.o.A.???? Amaterasy Servers? <--Did I even spell that right?

Yeah. So that's the first thing that should be edited.

Also, you're sign-up sheet is a little lacking. If that's you're own sign-up, I say you work on the Personality until it matches something ten times better. It's short, doesn't tell you anything except the fact that he's basically like Tai, and technically, you may want to put more depth into it.

And right now, I'm seein' your character as someone who looks like a Tai twin. I haven't the foggiest clue as to what the main hero from Pokemon XD:Gale of Darkness looks like. Never can figure out whether it's the red haired kid or Wes, or that other dude with the big shoes or w/e. You're technically RPing with yourself with that plot. Put yourself in someone else's shoes, someone who doesn't know anything about your character or the topic. Do you think you'd join if you didn't know what the RP master was talking about?