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Old April 18th, 2006 (2:32 AM).
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Deathspector Deathspector is offline
I'm so hardcore, I'm "X"-rated
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sad and alone with no one to care for...
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 345
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Oh wow...

You really know how to work up those inner feelings, and set offthat spark that makes us feel the pain of the Charizard's trainer. I also believe that the placement of the second person point of view added to that sensation, and was very well written. normally, when I try to write in secnd person, it sounds like I'm ordering people around, telling them you did this, and next you did that. You make it seem so perfectly real. I didn't find a lack of description, so I'll shut up about that.

However, the one thing that bothered me slightly, was the abrupt way you sort of told us that the Charizard died. I suppose it made the fanfiction better, but it was still sad to me, and I found it odd. Not wrong, but just odd.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka and a Happy New Year!

~My PC Family. Consisting six people~

Twin Sister: MariaJet
Big Brother: Nigma
Cousin: Bijou
Mother: Memory
Grandfather: .:Tempest:.
Apprentice: Krafty Quill

My Current Fafictions
Killing Machine – A Tale Of Revenge Gone Bad
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