Dividing the Bones (One-Shot)
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December 19th, 2006 (07:55 PM).
A Curious Breed
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ruins of Archaion
Virtually no errors, except for this minor:
When I was hungry, she would make sure I only got the best of berries and meat to eat, and sometimes she would bring me that rare berry that I really liked – the kind that was hard to get to, and only grew in the deep, dark crevices
of the our
I figured you might have been striving for perfection here.
Saffire, this is by far the most powerful piece of fan-fiction I have read this year (it also helps when listening to "Stairs of Fire" from Silent Hill). And so you have revealed the world of the Cubone, the No-Faces, and the mothers who dutifully raise them until that final day, when the decision to kill their mother comes. It is so heart-wrenching and depressing to see the fate that befalls the No-Faces, even though they could not bring up the courage to kill their mothers. The ritual is, by far, the most emotional bit for me, including the conclusion where Al’xious finally thanks his mother in silence.
Your imagery was so potent in the eyes of the Cubone, yet you did not need to write so much description as was necessary for most fics...the atmosphere and mood was perfected in first-person, which is obviously a difficult, but rewarding feat to pull off. Thank you for writing this; I loved how you portrayed this story as so many of us have wondered about.
Across the skies of
, past the plains of
beyond the sea of
, and over the mountains of
HE JOURNEY BEGIN
art by me @
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