Chance (Short Story)
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February 4th, 2007, 10:47 PM
Feline of Light and Shadow
Join Date: Oct 2005
Hmm... you know, Cal just doesn't strike me as being a girl. Growlithe seem to be more male by nature then female if you know what I mean, and Cal isn't doing anything that particularly makes anyone think of him/her as a female, so that may be the reason. Yeah. I have an even better reason to think of Cal as a guy, though- remember my review of "The Ties that Bind"? How I mentioned my dog dying? (God rest his soul, if he has one.) Well, Cal is basically a smarter version of what he was like as a young dog. I remember him so well... *sob* at least Cal lives...
Ah. ^^ Yes. I'll easily admit that Cal - however you view him - seems more male than female. :/ I personally view him as a male myself, buuut, I'm giving you the choice to decide. ^^
Yeah, well, he did drink it. I think you were going for something along the lines of "You are never going to so much as sniff any bottled substance ever again". But still, in a very sad chapter, this is one moment I did laugh at.
No, not sniff. ^^ 'drink'. Though Cal's being kind of overdramatic about it, he meant "any bottled substance". Sniffing it, I doubt, would have gotten him drunk. ^^'
I think you meant "You find yourself"... but you could be finding a daydream in midair. (Just kidding, XD) -- *will fix*
Why do you switch back and forth between italics and normal quotation marks for Pokemon speech? Just curious. But enough with my nit-pickiness. On to the favorite parts!
That part - well, it just seemed to go along with the current narrative flow. Stylistic choice, if you will. I try not to do it much.
Morana is one hilarious Sneasel. This section, by the way, makes me want to scream "RILEY! NUUU! DON'T LEAVE, THEY'LL MURDER YOU!"
<3 Morana. And yeah, DON"T LEAVE, THE BAD PEOPLE WILL MURDER YOU!
This gives you a great idea of what Morana is like- and a great reason to avoid sarcastic Sneasel like the black plague. 0_o
If she heard you say that, she'd be very happy with herself, I can assure you. XD
Not to be touchy, but is "Loyalty" the ONLY fic you've ever written where nobody dies? Still, this is a very sad segment, and I am only sorry that this wasn't ever archived. If you had posted this part here, it definitely would have made Fanfic of the week, at least.
Loyalty is not the only fic where nobody dies -- nobody has in Metamorphosis :D. But I believe you'll like the conclusion when I post it sometime soon.
Thanks for your review.
Battle ye not with a monster, lest ye become one.
+Other Fanfictional Works+
In Her Dreams
The Ties that Bind
Dividing the Bones
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