Aww, I kinda feel bad for Jeff... But he needs to suck it up and be a man! The descriptions were better in this chapter but unless Jeff is spending a little more time in Petalburg, you should decribe the city a little more. Also, you forgot to describe Alan's clothes (I think). Overall, though, it was a great chapter. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see when Jeff and Alan meet again!
Monotype Fire Challenge