Never in the Wrong Time or Wrong Place
View Single Post
September 24th, 2007 (7:55 PM).
by fire be P U R G E D
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NY
First of all, I'm angry that this chapter is so similar to me next one >.> I wanted to take my anger out on the review, but the beta-reading was too good. Nice job, both of you.
“<Argh, my eye!>” Nidoking yelled, holding his bleeding right eye and stumbling backwards, blinded. A slow trickle of scarlet blood leaked from the covered eye.
I recently learned that eyes don't actually "bleed", they just excrete liquid. This isn't a
mistake because a "bloody eye" is a common term.
Right as Corphish finished the joke he found himself being blindsided by Deyja. Corphish was knocked sideways and stopped at the base of a tree. He groaned and got to his many feet using his claw. Corphish raised his pincers in front of him.
Haha... I love Corphish. Can't wait to see his personality after evolution.
Jeff took out a knife and cut the rope binding Treecko and Corphish together. He then looked at the two and asked, “
re you guys cool?”
"a" became "A"... I think that's right.
“<Yeah, ‘Tree Hugger’!>”
You forgot to press enter twice here.
Monotype Fire Challenge
View Public Profile
Send a private message to Gummy
Find all posts by Gummy
Find threads started by Gummy