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Old November 20th, 2007, 10:42 AM
Bay Alexison's Avatar
Bay Alexison
Not a Baygel
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
Age: 25
Nature: Sassy
DarkPersian479:Hey! Glad this fic is the first one you reviewed here, even though you copied and paste! XD Again, hope you will like it here. :)

KPROFSLS: Okay, I really apperciate that you took the time to read and comment on my story, but you didn't really explained how I can do better. I don't mind that you said I need some work on this fic. I know this fic is far from perfect. However, it would be nice if you can tell me what can I do to make it better. What is wrong with the fic? Is it the plot, characters, pacing, description, emotions, etc? Also, since you said this is cool also, what are some of the things you like about this fic? Are there some scenes you like and such?

Look at the other reviews in this thread. They gave detailed reviews on what they like and don't like and how I can improve. For instance, the moderator Hanako's review on Chapter One. She told me some grammar mistakes I made, why the dialogue is a bit weak, and how I can do emotions better.

(Takes deep breathe)

Sorry for being a bit ranty. It is just that I really worked hard on this fic and am trying my best to improve. Again, I don't mind if there are some things I should work on, but next time you have to be more detailed on it. That way, I know what I should improve on next chapter and beyond.
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