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Old March 16th, 2008 (3:06 PM).
Incinermyn's Avatar
Incinermyn Incinermyn is offline
The Abomination Lives!!!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid
Posts: 647
I love your idea, bobandbill, but there was a little thing that stuck out in chapter two... For the battles against the Pre-gym trainers, from what I read, it looked like you just gave one-paragraph synopses (summaries) of each battle... I really would've enjoyed reading more about them than just that... Try to avoid that stuff in the future, cause it opens up a little potental for slapstick stuff... Good job overall though. I'll check back as you add more.