View Single Post
  #15    
Old March 16th, 2008, 03:06 PM
Incinermyn's Avatar
Incinermyn
SQUEAKY SQUEAK! <3 <3 <3
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid
I love your idea, bobandbill, but there was a little thing that stuck out in chapter two... For the battles against the Pre-gym trainers, from what I read, it looked like you just gave one-paragraph synopses (summaries) of each battle... I really would've enjoyed reading more about them than just that... Try to avoid that stuff in the future, cause it opens up a little potental for slapstick stuff... Good job overall though. I'll check back as you add more.
__________________
"Only in our darkest memories do we find truth..."
The Crusade of Dark Nostalgia