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  #23    
Old March 24th, 2008 (07:19 AM).
Minos Yewman
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
That chapter was good too, I liked the mob chase lots and I also like it how all the different pokémon have their own personality. However there are 48 shadow pokemon and plusle so if they are each going to have a unique personality, it could get confusing.
The only mistake I spotted was this:

Quote:
encountered it for a while, as he had been with Team Snagem for a while
You used 'for a while' twice in a short sentance. This doesn't sound good. Try something like:

Quote:
encountered it for a while, as he had been with Team Snagem until recently
Other than that, very good! Keep it up!
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