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Old April 20th, 2008, 10:15 AM
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JX Valentine
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Harassing Bill
Age: 27
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Thanks for the review. =3

I'm sorry that your hard work got lost, though. It happens sometimes. Maybe copy your review to Word (or another word processor) before hitting submit so you have a copy in case PC refuses to process it?

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Originally Posted by Luphinid Silnaek View Post
I do love the style you're having here: it's a cross unlike any I've seen before, especially the Victorian-era elements, and it goes unexpectedly well with the story.
Thanks for the compliment.

The Victorian comment caught me off-guard a little, though. If you meant the Shakespeare references, those are actually Elizabethan. Otherwise, I'm probably doing something that I didn't even realize I'm doing, but I'm glad it works well. ^_^;

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The age group, additionally, is something of a respite from the usual teenager coming-of-age fics. I never thought I'd revel so in the presence of men and women past the age of puberty.
Thanks. I'll have to agree with you here. A lot of Pokemon fics tend to be centered around the ten to eighteen range, which is only annoying in the sense that the field of fanfiction either ends up being redundant or age groups that I can relate to (or would think would be interesting to explore -- like the age group under ten years old) are excluded, which tends to be frustrating.

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An interesting byproduct is that, for the first time in recorded history, two characters can maintain a close sibling relationship without falling gibbering into the pit of romance.
Would it take any of my credibility away if I said Sebastian is sort of falling gibbering into the pit of romance? XD He regards Viola as a sister, but on the other hand, he also may harbor other feelings for her. Viola, meanwhile, is both oblivious and wouldn't care for him past a business partner and roommate anyway.

Meanwhile, the other romantic pairings that may experience lovey-dovey sorts of moments are either sick (Orsino and Olivia, who are actually brother and sister) or really can only end a limited number of ways (Romeo and Juliet).

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and MY GOD the sheer emotion Viola shows on the subject of her father.
There's actually an implied explanation about this. Partly, it's because she has a fixation problem. (It extends to a lot of other things she does as well. As in, she fixates on not only her past and her father but also everything from the Knights to the idea of being a part of Romeo's group to the concept of victory in the Game. Really, Viola's attachments fall into two categories: indifference and obsession.)

She was orphaned at a young age (I don't recall if I've ever actually mentioned how old she was, but she was younger than ten years old but old enough to understand what death meant.), and she's spent all those years alone in her father's home, with her father's Pokemon, surrounded by her father's things. She's never actually let herself get close to anyone because of the shock of her father's death and because she never really knew anyone before her father died. (She and her father were more reclusive because they were new to a district where other people have lived for decades -- which is what I meant by the line in the first chapter that she's a "newcomer" too.) Because she was surrounded by her father's things (his possessions, his business, his pokémon, et cetera – she even wears his clothes), her only means of coping and getting by was to cling to everything he left her, including teaching herself his trade. It really didn't help that Haunter is dead set (no pun intended) on protecting her for a few reasons I never actually mentioned but may later. (Well, one of them would be fairly obvious anyway, and it's because she's the daughter of his deceased master.)

So, really, her father ended up being the only person she felt she was ever connected to, and she hangs on to his memory like an obsession to this day because she doesn't know how else to get by (considering she's surrounded by everything he was). So, if someone brings him up, it's like someone is bringing up a really sacred memory.

That and usually, if someone brings up her father, it's usually as an insult (to either him or her) or from an enemy, so she's particularly sensitive about the idea of having her father's name dirtied. It's exactly like telling a "your mom" joke to someone whose mother died slowly and painfully.

I do get what you're saying, though, and I'll try to make things a bit clearer in the story, not only about her father but also about Sebastian's obsession with her (which, looking at it, I kinda contradict myself in terms of what I'm trying to imply as well). I'm guessing the other problems lie with the Trio, Rosaline, and Andrew, then, right?

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I also wonder quite why the girl is so intent on getting into trouble, since no sane person who wanted to 'get out of the house' would become involved with deadly political events.
That I can't really say at the moment. Part of it is her fixation problems, but a lot of it is muddled in spoilers. (Elements, though, I think need to be worked out because you're right. It doesn't seem to make much sense that she would want to go out and put herself in danger, considering the fact that Viola is actually fairly meek and submissive, especially in the beginning.)

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The poem is gold, by the way.
XD Thanks. There's a few problems with meter, though, but I'm glad you liked it.
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