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Old April 20th, 2008 (12:32 PM).
Bay Alexison's Avatar
Bay Alexison
Not a Baygel
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
Age: 26
Nature: Sassy
Sorry that this review is a bit short and not too detailed. Kind of playing catch up and also will be busy with uni work. For now this will be an overview of the Prologue to Chapter Ten and I'll say so far I'm liking this.

The actions and the Pokemon battles are good, though there were a couple of times maybe on the Pokemon battles you could have used less words to describe some attacks make it look like the battles are going more of fast pace. You described the attacks well but sometimes as the saying goes, less is more. ;)

I also love the character's interactions and their personalities too. My favorite is defintely Viola, as she has this unique personality and also her nervousness and quiteness reminds me a bit of the main character in my fic, lol. ^O^ And also have to say poor Sebstian not able to open up to his feelings to Viola yet. Come on, you can do it boy! XD (sorry, have a soft spot for characters that aren't able to open up their feelings yet ^^; )

Lastly, like how you're putting a few Shakespeare references in there, at least the ones I know. ^^; So far the only ones I catch are the Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet ones and I thought you put it well in the story. And sorry to ask, but since maybe Viola's name and Sebestain's name are from Shakepear's characters, you don't mind telling me which play(s) have those names ^^;

There's a couple other things I want to metion. First is how at first Haunter's pressence is not menioned too much but then later in the chapters he became more noticeable and his personality is beginning to show too. Don't worry, I'm also trying to fix that too in my stories as I try to have the Pokemon that are out of their pokeballs be noticeable in both their apperance and personality too. ^^;

This next thing I one to mention is from Chapter Ten. I felt you could have Viola react to the news that Knight Rose was the one that hired the Trio, since now she knew why the Trio was going after her in the first place.

Well, so far this story is getting interesting and am wondering what's going to happen next. Can't wait for the next chapter and hope to do a better review for it. ^^
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