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June 24th, 2008, 07:04 PM
Above & Beyond
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Seattle area
I'm beginning to get the impression that the narrator doesn't like being held captive. I wonder who he/she will have to work for. I'm also wondering who recovered these audio recordings and how they were recovered. I'm fairly sure that I'll find out in due time.
I liked how the narrator wasn't able to stand at first. It shows that despite the fact that he/she can use psi waves to manipulate reality, they (the narrator) aren't without inherited weaknesses. It would be a whole lot easier just to have them be able to stand freely with little effort. You however, take the extra time and effort to turn the instant into an opportunity to develop character, rather than skip through it for the sake of ease.
That's one of the strong points of your writing. You know how to turn the subtleties into opportunities to develop the story.
I'll keep an eye out for the next chapter.
Last edited by POKEMON_MASTER_0; June 24th, 2008 at
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