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July 3rd, 2008, 11:39 PM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Hm... VERY interesting. Now I'm even more hooked than I was before!
This is getting more and more unique as it goes along. For one, I can tell you're using what is called the "Third-Person Omniscient(sp?)" point of view. This POV allows the reader to 'see' what multiple characters are thinking, rather than just one. For instance, in this chapter, we could see the emotions and thoughts of Saul, Darren, and Flora. This is not at all a bad thing; in fact, it is a rarely-used POV that when applied right can make the story much more interesting.
I'm also liking the take on vegitarianism. To answer your question, it does make plenty of sense that in a world full of creatures with supernatural powers, humans wouldn't be mass-producing the potentially dangerous and intelligent Pokemon for food. However, as you implied by the words "as most people were", some might hunt or simply eat Pokemon meat. Seems like vegitarians would be a lot more common.
To answer your
question, chapters really don't (and shouldn't have) a particular length set out for them. As long as it's over a page (to follow the rules, of course), all that really matters is your description and plot. It could be a couple paragraphs or half a book as long as it's got that. The reason I'm not going to say any particular length if because it might pressure you to try to force your chapters along with filler to make them that length, or shortten them because they may be "over the limit". Just write as much as you think you should. Different chapters have different plots, moods, and circumstances, also; ALL of your chapters don't need to be the same length.
The only real constructive critisism I can think of for you now is that it seems a bit rushed. Just a tiny bit. Every writer has this probelm at some point, though. It should work itself out with practice and experience, in time. Which is the main thing I have left to say. This is getting good. I remember when I was at this point in my writing, when I just started to improve (In fact, I think I'm still sort of at that point... XD). You'll notice your writing start to evolve and improve the more you do it, but for now, just keep at it! This is getting me interested and ready for more! The mystery of who (or what) is trying to kill Darren, and more importantly,
, simply will not be put to rest in my mind until it is solved within this fic! I can't wait for the next update.
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